What is your favourite nonsense rhyme

The Frog

What a wonderful bird the frog are-
When he stand he sit almost
When he hop he fly almost
He ain’t got no sense hardly
He ain’t got no tail hardly, either
When he sit he sit on what he ain’t got almost.

Here’s one

Anonymous, ‘I Saw a Peacock’.

I Saw a Peacock, with a fiery tail,
I saw a Blazing Comet, drop down hail,
I saw a Cloud, with Ivy circled round,
I saw a sturdy Oak, creep on the ground,
I saw a Pismire, swallow up a Whale,
I saw a raging Sea, brim full of Ale …


"argle bargle, foofaraw, hey diddy hoe diddy no one knows. " -6th edition Shadowrun, trying to explain spirits looking like people, and failing their proofreading check for an actual rulebook.

A Scots nonsense rhyme my Grampa used to recite:

As I went up a coo tae buy a country,
A wee black bark cam oot and dugged at me.
I drew ma shouder aff ma stick,
An’ gave it sic an ear across the lick,
It made its watter ee.


A. E. Housman, ‘The Crocodile’.

Though some at my aversion smile,
I cannot love the crocodile.
Its conduct does not seem to me
Consistent with sincerity …


One I can relate to :shifty:

There was an old man with a beard
Who said, It is just as I feared
Four larks and a wren
Two owls and a hen
Have all built their nest in my beard.


@Gandalf sounds like that old man is a character from The Hobbit :slight_smile:

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Once I knew a man who always wore a saucepan on his head.
I asked him what he did it for. “I do not know he said.
It always makes my head so sore.
I am a foolish man
I should have taken it off before
And worn a frying pan.”


“There was a man from Darjeeling,
Who boarded a bus bound for Ealing,
It said on the door,
Please don’t spit on the floor,
So he stood up and spat on the ceiling.”

… … … … … … …

"Said Hamlet to Ophelia,
I’ll draw a sketch of thee,
What kind of pencil shall I use?
2B or not 2B? "

Spike Milligan - 16 April 1918 - 27 February 2002



My friends mum used to say it to her little daughter:

One fine day in the middle of the night,
Two dead men got up to fight
Back to back, they faced each other
Drew their swords and shot each other.

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i want

i want to hold on to the wind
i want to taste the stars
i want to build a big little house
and live my life on mars
to remove the weight beneath my feet
and forget the people i will never meet
i want to text a blind man
and then outgrow my skin
i want to eat and grow so fat
that i look really thin
i want to travel somewhere nice
and then ignore the views
to decide what i will do tomorrow
after seeing it on the news
i want to hear the sound
of an empty room
to sweep the floor without a broom
i want to sing a song that has no words
that no one ever hears
and then hear that it is really good
from a man that has no ears
now i want to end this poem


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