Marriage - Get Me To The Church On Time!

She’d probably have to do the selling on that one :lol:

:rofl: There’s no escape, dude! We’re doomed, doomed, I tell you!!

JJ, nice to see you again! :slight_smile:

I had to laugh when I read that, “partner” title - it’s funny because I’ve also had that dilemma when I introduce my bf to people, he’s soooo much more than just “bf” plus I find myself too old to be calling him my “bf” - seems a bit immature :rofl: saying partner doesn’t sound like a solution either, I think I’ll be happier when it’s husband until then he’s my better half :smiley:

Absolutely! It’s not the “be all and end all” of a relationship, if it is, then you’re doomed already. It’s just something nice I guess and IMO, if you do decide to have a family, it’s more of a “proper” way to do things. :slight_smile:

I think you’re just playing hard to get really Saul, you’re just a big softy really :rofl:

I just don’t get it. I’m just not a marriage guy I guess.

“He who binds to himself a joy,
doth the winged life destroy”
William Blake

“Damn bats”
Raoul Duke

I get it but I got it wrong.

I got married 5 years ago to an amazing guy and unfortunately it didn’t work out. That is profoundly sad but it is what it is.

Would I do it again? You betcha. (The marriage bit - hopefully not the divorce bit.)

Yeah I tried that, the conversations went something like this:

My wife.

Oh sorry it’s just that you’re not wearing a ring.

Yes, because we’re not married.

But you said she was your wife

… :x


My wife

Your married?



Thanks :slight_smile: Yeah, better half works I just don’t like it. If I’m honest I get a bit of a kick out of wearing a ring too, not sure why.

I suppose some of them have never heard of ‘common law wife’ but I suppose it’s better than them assuming your ‘partner’ wasn’t of the female variety. As for rings it shouldn’t matter one iota regarding whether you wear one or not but obviously some people are narrow minded.

Continuing… I suppose all it really advertises, is if you are ‘available’ or not. Even if I were married and my wife insisted on me wearing a ring. Most of the time I wouldn’t actually wear it on my finger due to the dangerous nature of the work I do.

Yeah, the precious rings! :lol: Did you do the whole engagement thing JJ? With rings and that too?

Ah, one day when you meet the right girl BLZ you’ll change your mind :smiley: I often hear people joke about marriage being a prison or that you’re not free to do what you wish, if it’s like that for anyone, it’s time to get moving on :shifty:

I can understand not wearing the ring for genuine reasons, i.e. to protect it from being damaged but not wearing a ring just for the sake of not wearing it, I would disagree with. I mean, sure some men don’t like jewellery, but if that were the case, perhaps a wedding gift might be better, like some sort of shackle or sign or something :rofl:

A badge… :smiley:

Now there’s a great idea Guido :rofl: we could have it titled “pwned” :smiley:

More social engineering. That’s what sheeple do - change minds based on social setting. Meeting the right girl does not mean marriage. Marriage is a permission of society for you to have a relationship. It’s like asking your parents if you can go out with that girl. Oh but I’m sure many “adults” still ask their parents for permission to get married. Go figure. :goof:

If you cannot take the responsibility without permission, how can you take the responsibility of the relationship!? You can’t, that’s why marriage is an oxymoron. The numbers speak for themselves…

It’s not a joke, it’s a cruel reality. It’s true for 50% of people in US and it’s probably similar in most other countries too. And that doesn’t tell how many people decide to continue living in an unhealthy marriage.

If a system doesn’t work more than 50% of the time, it means it’s broken. If you knew a car would crash 50% of the time, would you drive it? It makes all the sense in the world not to, right?

Is love blind and stupid then? Should you follow your heart, not mind? Here’s a principle I go by: if your heart and mind contradict each other, you must solve that contradiction within yourself. By no means should you act on contradictions or put that on someone else - someone you love, of all people.

And since marriage is a contradiction by nature, there’s always only one answer - don’t marry.

:rofl: Ingenious! :rofl:

The wedding ring through the nose, like a bull, yeah! I’d be Mr Cool. :lol:

Bracelet would be good assuming it was near indestructible. Or a chain to hang the ring on when working. Like with watches they can easily get smashed into pieces in my line of work and that is why I wear low price steel watches.

An electronic bracelet… so your wife would always know where you are :wink:

Well, I’m most definitely not one to follow the crowd, but I must admit that I do adopt traditionalism in lots of things! I don’t believe that it’s down to any social engineering or influence when someone asks for permission to marry. It’s basically being respectful and courteous, it’s seeking approval also - no doubt it’s a big step for any man or woman, nevermind a parent to “let go” of their child (no matter what age they are)

Well I definitely don’t believe in staying in a bad marriage - kids or not - most times it’s better for all parties concerned to move on.

I know I wouldn’t run away from the problem. There’s a break down for a reason. People not knowing who they marry, rushing into things, not understanding what’s involved, having affairs, you name it - The act of marriage itself is fine, it’s the people who are undertaking this commitment under false pretenses or just having their head in the clouds. I don’t think it’s fair to say that it shouldn’t be promoted - when the right people commit and marry, it lasts forever and there are many many many people out there who are great examples of what happens when its done right. In fact, some have commented in this very thread! :slight_smile:

I don’t think you should have any contradictions either emotionally or mentally when you’re committing to a relationship or in love full-stop. If it’s a case that there is conflict, then that’s evidence enough to say to yourself, something is wrong here :shifty:

So what if you met a girl, she’s great in every way but she really wanted to get married. Would you dump her for the sake of your own strict principles on marriage? :scratch:

:hangin: :lol:

:lol: That’s an idea too Robert, I wonder do people actually replace the ring with something else, seriously - Like even tattoos or something? That would be interesting, you’d never lose it but it might fade though :frowning:

Hmm. A his and hers matching wedding Ankle monitor! :slight_smile:

The contraction is not the commitment but permission and/or approval. Relationship is a commitment. The act of marriage is approval. Let me just sum it up by saying that I don’t think you’re committed enough if you seek approval.

Also a disclaimer for all those guys out there who are happily married: all the theory, principles and practice of other people in the world means nothing if it works for you (and vice versa). :slight_smile:

If she’s the right girl, she’d be on the same page regarding the issue. If not, we part ways. “The right” means most of our values match. If some of the most important values don’t match, we’re in no business of a long term relationship.

I think marriage is an outdated and anachronistic tradition probably encouraged mostly by churches of one kind or another to enforce and perpetuate their authority. I long for a time when we can all do what we want with whoever we want as long as everyone involved is a consenting adult and it’s all cool.

I guess you don’t need me to point out the contradiction there, perhaps you’re more of a follower than you think.

Of course it is, you just don’t question it because it’s what you grew up with. Did you ever give a man you fancied a slice of apple soaked in your armpit sweat? No? Why not, it’s what they do in rural parts of Austria, it’s respectful…

I look at marriage much the same way I look at photographs. They are simply a psychological way to insulate yourself against a frightening passage of time; a way to feel as though you leave a legacy - ergo matter; a sense of security, albeit false. The interesting thing is no one knows why these things matter to us.

Using the exact same principles that lead me to that conclusion, I have also concluded this:

  • I don’t think there’s anything the matter with wanting to matter. Even claims that this is in fact unimportant to you, are often just ways to make us stand out (ie matter).
  • Nothing is wrong with a pursuit of security. Strong, strong arguments can be made that all security, in any form at all, is in fact false. It’s like the word natural. If something can occur within our universe it is automatically natural. The most unnatural thing is our definition of natural. We actually always mean unusual.
  • if we have to be afraid of something (which we do, fearlessness is wholly unnatural), the passage of time is our best choice IMO.

Wrapping it up, I just don’t get marriage. Much like I don’t get Jimi Hendrix, software patenting, social networking or waxy chocolate Easter bunnies.
Wish I did sometimes, might make things easier.
Life truly is nothing but sound and fury in my mind, the quality of your sound and fury is the only true concern.

Marriage works for you? Fill yer boots.
Think it’s a completely ridiculous aberration of logic? Fill yer boots.

So there you have it, I just managed to say absolutely nothing in many words. I’m writing a book on how to say absolutely nothing in the longest way you can.
It should be a big seller on campuses, no?
Then I’ll will all the proceeds to Warren Buffet. In the unlikely event that he predeceases me (when you’re that rich, you should raise tigers just so you can have a steady supply of tiger blood to inject), my estate will default to the roadkill museum in Maryland. But, I digress.

Once again, let us take comfort in the words of the prophet Raoul Duke -
“Damn bats”

I was just thinking that.

I’m never gonna get married. Plain and Simple. If a women does try she is going to have the hardest time.