i mean, i could do it with LIKEs (looking to count 0 instances of the minus keyword) but at what point is it worth it to reinvent fulltext functionality?
oh, there is the minor detail that fulltext indexes only work on myisam tables, but this is often a good opportunity to use a one-to-zero-or-one relationship, where the main table is innodb and the secondary table is myisam with two columns, the PK and the TEXT column