Deep-Fried Turkey

Some years ago, an acquaintance of mine was driving across one of the Scottish islands early in the morning, on his way to catch the ferry for a visit to his son in Glasgow. Rounding a corner, he hit a sheep in the road. When he got out to investigate, he found the animal was dead. He didn’t have time to contact the farmer (this was in the days before mobile phones) and didn’t want to leave a dead sheep in the road. However, he had a friend in Glasgow who was a butcher, so he decided to take the sheep with him, and settle up with the farmer on his return. He heaved the carcass into the boot and set off.

By the time he reached his son’s house several hours later, he’d forgotten the incident altogether. Parked outside the house, on a particularly busy Glasgow main road, he opened the boot to get his case out - and a terrified sheep leapt out and was last seen disappearing among the traffic. I don’t think he ever did find out what eventually happened to it.

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LOL. That reminds me of a story I heard a few weeks ago. A guy I know found a cat that had been hit by a car and was badly injured. It seemed so close to death—barely alive, with blood streaming from nose and mouth—that he felt the best option was to put it out of its misery, so he got a hammer and finished it off good and proper. As it was very late, he threw the carcass in his shed, planning to bury the animal the next day. Next morning, he opened the shed door, only to be greeted by the cat, who was glad to see him and was hoping for some food. He took it to the vet, who declared that—apart from some bruising—the cat was fine!

I told my friend it was time I taught him how to use a hammer. :stuck_out_tongue:

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