Comments on: The virtues of falling on your sword at the appropriate time http://www.sitepoint.com/blogs/2004/12/27/the-virtues-of-falling-on-your-sword-at-the-appropriate-time/ News, opinion, and fresh thinking for web developers and designers. The official podcast of sitepoint.com. Tue, 02 Dec 2008 07:40:01 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5 By: sipke http://www.sitepoint.com/blogs/2004/12/27/the-virtues-of-falling-on-your-sword-at-the-appropriate-time/#comment-6504 sipke Wed, 31 Dec 1969 19:00:00 +0000 1608656404#comment-6504 <p>I think the hardest thing when you are dealing with people is how you can handle their complaints. You have to examine every situation from another point of view (e.g. if you were the client, what do you do?), and I think when the case worth it, you should take the responsibility - even if it is not your fault. <br /> But, in some cases I think there are additional facts when you have to consider to close the relationship with the client, because you don't understand each other. <br /> Misunderstandings can kill good relationships so I always lay down the requirements (also the clients') in advance, so everybody has a clear vision about the commitments. This method can help to avoid a lot of subtle situation.</p> I think the hardest thing when you are dealing with people is how you can handle their complaints. You have to examine every situation from another point of view (e.g. if you were the client, what do you do?), and I think when the case worth it, you should take the responsibility - even if it is not your fault.
But, in some cases I think there are additional facts when you have to consider to close the relationship with the client, because you don’t understand each other.
Misunderstandings can kill good relationships so I always lay down the requirements (also the clients’) in advance, so everybody has a clear vision about the commitments. This method can help to avoid a lot of subtle situation.

]]> By: RockyShark http://www.sitepoint.com/blogs/2004/12/27/the-virtues-of-falling-on-your-sword-at-the-appropriate-time/#comment-6505 RockyShark Wed, 31 Dec 1969 19:00:00 +0000 1608656404#comment-6505 <p>Following this advice is the quickest way to turn a client into an advocate. Look after people when they complain & they'll love you for it. Resolve the complaint & you'll have a client for life.</p> Following this advice is the quickest way to turn a client into an advocate. Look after people when they complain & they’ll love you for it. Resolve the complaint & you’ll have a client for life.

]]> By: Steve Rose http://www.sitepoint.com/blogs/2004/12/27/the-virtues-of-falling-on-your-sword-at-the-appropriate-time/#comment-6506 Steve Rose Wed, 31 Dec 1969 19:00:00 +0000 1608656404#comment-6506 <p>There is a practice called "nonviolent communication" that teaches people to understand each others feelings and needs first. That is what the anger is all about. After that is done both parties can usually decide upon a strategy to resolve the problem. No blaming is necessary.</p> There is a practice called “nonviolent communication” that teaches people to understand each others feelings and needs first. That is what the anger is all about. After that is done both parties can usually decide upon a strategy to resolve the problem. No blaming is necessary.

]]> By: Unit7285 http://www.sitepoint.com/blogs/2004/12/27/the-virtues-of-falling-on-your-sword-at-the-appropriate-time/#comment-6507 Unit7285 Wed, 31 Dec 1969 19:00:00 +0000 1608656404#comment-6507 <p>I think the concept that customers become even more enthusiastic about your service if you resolve their complaints successfully is very optimistic. It has become a bit of a 'business myth' and it's trotted out as a truism whenever the subject of handling complaints rears its head. But these situations are almost certainly the exceptions rather than the rule.</p> <p>In reality, if you've screwed up, the best you can reasonably hope for is to get back on an even keel and take it from there. Even that might not be possible. The client's relief that you've resolved a problem shouldn't be confused with praise. Most clients are going to have long memories about things that go wrong, and shorter memories (or no memory at all) about the many things you did right. Call me a cynic, but that's the way the world works!</p> <p>Having said that, however, one book I read at least once a year is 'Getting To Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In' by Roger Fisher and William Ury, both academics at Harvard Law School. It's a very well known book. Though not specifically targeted at complaint resolution, their methodology is ideal for sorting out problems in a non-confrontational way and nicely complements the very sound methods Andrew describes above.<br /> </p> I think the concept that customers become even more enthusiastic about your service if you resolve their complaints successfully is very optimistic. It has become a bit of a ‘business myth’ and it’s trotted out as a truism whenever the subject of handling complaints rears its head. But these situations are almost certainly the exceptions rather than the rule.

In reality, if you’ve screwed up, the best you can reasonably hope for is to get back on an even keel and take it from there. Even that might not be possible. The client’s relief that you’ve resolved a problem shouldn’t be confused with praise. Most clients are going to have long memories about things that go wrong, and shorter memories (or no memory at all) about the many things you did right. Call me a cynic, but that’s the way the world works!

Having said that, however, one book I read at least once a year is ‘Getting To Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In’ by Roger Fisher and William Ury, both academics at Harvard Law School. It’s a very well known book. Though not specifically targeted at complaint resolution, their methodology is ideal for sorting out problems in a non-confrontational way and nicely complements the very sound methods Andrew describes above.

]]> By: norbert_m http://www.sitepoint.com/blogs/2004/12/27/the-virtues-of-falling-on-your-sword-at-the-appropriate-time/#comment-6508 norbert_m Wed, 31 Dec 1969 19:00:00 +0000 1608656404#comment-6508 <p>I'm actually in a similar situation with a client. This is my first job for them and I failed to pass their deadlines because of both business and personal reasons so they weren't able to start their site in time. After sitting down and finding out how to go on, everything turned right. We are actually 3 months after the 2-weeks deadline, it's a very frustrating situation for both of us. I give them lots of useful tips and info every day that helps their job--now it seems they look at me as a partner rather than one more contractor they have to pay. Now they see that it worths to pay me, because besides doing the job well they get lot more for free.</p> <p>Unit7285 is also right: this won't always work. But even if there are negative times in a relationship, you can always do something to make it better. I think it's basically simple, even though most people fail to do it: you have to listen and behave fairly. That's all. What I achieved with it is that this company offered me additional projects for the next months.</p> <p>Some months ago I wouldn't behave like this because I had no idea on how to handle these things. I learned a lot, many things from this blog. Now I do have a question, maybe Andrew wants to write about it at some time: what if a business relationship starts to turn into friendship? I actually feel like this with two clients of mine, they even mentioned this to me. At the same time, I'm afraid if these relationships become a friendship, we will face new problems in the business part.</p> I’m actually in a similar situation with a client. This is my first job for them and I failed to pass their deadlines because of both business and personal reasons so they weren’t able to start their site in time. After sitting down and finding out how to go on, everything turned right. We are actually 3 months after the 2-weeks deadline, it’s a very frustrating situation for both of us. I give them lots of useful tips and info every day that helps their job–now it seems they look at me as a partner rather than one more contractor they have to pay. Now they see that it worths to pay me, because besides doing the job well they get lot more for free.

Unit7285 is also right: this won’t always work. But even if there are negative times in a relationship, you can always do something to make it better. I think it’s basically simple, even though most people fail to do it: you have to listen and behave fairly. That’s all. What I achieved with it is that this company offered me additional projects for the next months.

Some months ago I wouldn’t behave like this because I had no idea on how to handle these things. I learned a lot, many things from this blog. Now I do have a question, maybe Andrew wants to write about it at some time: what if a business relationship starts to turn into friendship? I actually feel like this with two clients of mine, they even mentioned this to me. At the same time, I’m afraid if these relationships become a friendship, we will face new problems in the business part.

]]> By: webmonster http://www.sitepoint.com/blogs/2004/12/27/the-virtues-of-falling-on-your-sword-at-the-appropriate-time/#comment-6509 webmonster Wed, 31 Dec 1969 19:00:00 +0000 1608656404#comment-6509 <p>Customer is always right, right? I actually do not agree with this at all because honestly there are just some very difficult people out there that you are forced to deal with. I actually know somebody who gets her way almost ALL of the time because she complains so well. Example, she has no problem going to a nice restaurant and complaining that the food is cold or something doesn't taste right and getting a free meal out of it. In fact, I know she does this quite often regardless if the meal is good or not. For the record I am not friends with this person (I have just heard this about her from a mutual friend).</p> <p>My point is that some people just have some wires crossed in their heads and they just have to be difficult all the time, they just can't help it.</p> <p>My advice is to just be the bigger person and bite the bullet and be nice and fix the problem the best you can regardless of who is at fault. The blame game only causes more grief for everyone involved. Once the situation is resolved, if possible I would be VERY careful in dealing with this client in the future.</p> Customer is always right, right? I actually do not agree with this at all because honestly there are just some very difficult people out there that you are forced to deal with. I actually know somebody who gets her way almost ALL of the time because she complains so well. Example, she has no problem going to a nice restaurant and complaining that the food is cold or something doesn’t taste right and getting a free meal out of it. In fact, I know she does this quite often regardless if the meal is good or not. For the record I am not friends with this person (I have just heard this about her from a mutual friend).

My point is that some people just have some wires crossed in their heads and they just have to be difficult all the time, they just can’t help it.

My advice is to just be the bigger person and bite the bullet and be nice and fix the problem the best you can regardless of who is at fault. The blame game only causes more grief for everyone involved. Once the situation is resolved, if possible I would be VERY careful in dealing with this client in the future.

]]> By: karunnt http://www.sitepoint.com/blogs/2004/12/27/the-virtues-of-falling-on-your-sword-at-the-appropriate-time/#comment-6510 karunnt Wed, 31 Dec 1969 19:00:00 +0000 1608656404#comment-6510 <p>Nice article</p> Nice article

]]> By: moagw http://www.sitepoint.com/blogs/2004/12/27/the-virtues-of-falling-on-your-sword-at-the-appropriate-time/#comment-6511 moagw Wed, 31 Dec 1969 19:00:00 +0000 1608656404#comment-6511 <p>I think the problem lies more with the IT professional than the customer. I have won over client after client not for resolving complaints but by really taking time at initial meetings to KNOW this person. If you are an adult, and have any interpersonal skills whatsoever, meeting with someone will bring you to an understanding about who they are professionally and what they want. Period. I would love to admit to you that I can somehow READ people better than others, but I don't think it is impossible for people to be read. </p> <p>when you meet:<br /> 1. Learn who you are dealing with<br /> 2. Let them know who THEY are dealing with<br /> (and I don't mean being antagonistic, just be professional)<br /> 3. set up guidlines that you BOTH understand ( I have even quizzed them {almost jokingly} about what our obligations are)</p> <p>If you do this, and a problem arises, you need to fix it. NOW. If you argue with a customer, you might win the fight, but when they tell 30 people they work with about you (and it may be false, but they will tell them) and your methods you LOSE business. </p> <p>The hard decision is this: Pride, or Profit?</p> I think the problem lies more with the IT professional than the customer. I have won over client after client not for resolving complaints but by really taking time at initial meetings to KNOW this person. If you are an adult, and have any interpersonal skills whatsoever, meeting with someone will bring you to an understanding about who they are professionally and what they want. Period. I would love to admit to you that I can somehow READ people better than others, but I don’t think it is impossible for people to be read.

when you meet:
1. Learn who you are dealing with
2. Let them know who THEY are dealing with
(and I don’t mean being antagonistic, just be professional)
3. set up guidlines that you BOTH understand ( I have even quizzed them {almost jokingly} about what our obligations are)

If you do this, and a problem arises, you need to fix it. NOW. If you argue with a customer, you might win the fight, but when they tell 30 people they work with about you (and it may be false, but they will tell them) and your methods you LOSE business.

The hard decision is this: Pride, or Profit?

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