“Whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t — you are right.” Henry Ford.
The last two blogs led up to a big question: How do you overcome your insecurities to be an effective business person?
How does someone who is insecure suddenly transform to become secure and confident?
All I can do in a short blog like this is point you towards some approaches, and you can pursue those that call to you.
First, let’s get one thing out of the way: Your behaviors and speech need to line up. There are lots of people out there (I used to be one of them) who say things like, “I want to start a business, but….” or “One day I’ll be a successful entrepreneur, but right now I’m too [old, young, uneducated, poor, unknown…].”
A few comments like this are fine from time to time, but some people (and I used to be one of them) go on and on. It is as if they think that by talking about starting a business they are actually doing it. These people are wannabees. They bore the pants off family, friends, and co-workers — and don’t even know it.
Worse, it is not healthy to say one thing while you are doing something very different.
To be successful and satisfied, you must match up your actions and your deeds. Either do what you say you will do (e.g. stop explaining and making excuses and live your dreams), or stop boring us with your daydreams and be happy where you are.
Now for those people who really do want to take action, and are stuck: Here are some ways to move forward.
First, find someone who has achieved success despite their circumstances. Interview them. Model your behavior after theirs. Find out how they overcame their own insecurities. Earn the right to have them mentor you. Offer to work for them, or otherwise learn from them.
Second, study your limiting beliefs until they become so boring that you ignore them. Sometimes you have to become profoundly bored and nauseous with yourself to move forward. Then your beliefs become nothing more than a bad movie that plays in your mind, and has no effect on you. As an anonymous guru said, “Thoughts are the mind’s way of passing gas.” So what brought your beliefs into being? How often do you notice them? What is their effect on you? Etc. etc. ad nauseum. (This is a Buddhist/meditative approach).
Third, take baby steps to get outside your comfort zone. Every week do something you haven’t done before to grow your business. If you fear calling the “big fish” client, call one and see what happens. Learn and try again. Keep taking one more small step. (This is the ChangeOne philosophy).
Fourth, become aware of the costs of not changing your behavior. I went into business for myself after doing an exercise in which I saw myself working for my intellectually-challenged boss for another year or two. Then I magnified the pain in my mind until I couldn’t stand it anymore. (This is an Neuro-Linguistic Programming Technique, as is the next one).
Fifth, and conversely, imaging the pleasure of taking new, powerful actions to grow your business. How will you feel? How will you speak? What will your facial expression look like? How will you carry yourself? What will you wear?
Sixth, fake it until you make it. Sandler’s famous book “You Can’t Teach a Kid to Ride a Bike at a Seminar” separates our identity from our role. We are all actors. Do what successful people do, knowing we are all faking it to a degree. You are not your job. Be whatever you need to be to succeed.
Six methods are enough for now. For the 16-year old: You may need to be patient. With experience and a bit more time, you will do fine. Already you are far ahead of most your age and older.
Finally, to quote Yoda: “There is no try, only do.”
Other suggestions appreciated…..