Lots of email problems

I am having all kinds of email issues.

They start with contact forms on my wordpress site.
i normally use the Contact Form 7 plugin. this has worked perfectly fine with every site i have used it on (sending to the same email) until now.
the form is saying its sending the email but i am not receiving it in my godaddy email.

the site is hosted with Managed Way, but my email is on GoDaddy.
I then tried several other contact forms and plugins, including JetPack. same result.
I have tried deactivating/reactivating the plugins, uninstalling/reinstalling them, same result.

then i discovered the messages arrive perfectly fine at a managed way email and a gmail.
however, when trying to send a message from either one of these to my godaddy, the messages do not arrive.
in fact, the managed way emails are actually getting the messages returned ‘delivery failed’ stuff.

Then i discovered that i can receive emails at my godaddy from one gmail account, but not the other.

I am extremely confused, but my goal is simply to get messages from my contact form.
the domain is retailelectricalcontractors.com (where the contact form is)
my email is at liveoutloudproductions.com.

i tried searching answers for this issue and found mainly things relating to wp 3.3 and back. i found one thread regarding 3.4.1. im running 3.4.2.
i tried some of the solutions there anyway (the ones i could sift out of the messy thread) but no luck.

After contacting my email host, who directed me back to my domain host again, i was informed what the problem was:


Since this was trying to send locally to a local address it was being rejected due to that address not being there.
You were trying to use your own mx but direct admin was still selected to handle the mail
I have told direct admin that it dose not handle the mail and test this successfully
you were sending it locally from the direct admin server using php, it thought that it still handled the mx records and thought mx 0 mail.liveoutloudproductions. was the correct mx record
when in fact it is liveoutloudproductions.com mail is handled by 0 smtp.secureserver.net.