A rather frugal man asked the bank for a loan of one dollar and was
told he would have to pay nine percent interest at the end of the year.
For security he offered $60,000. in U.S. bonds. The banker, foreseeing a potential depositor, accepted the bonds and gave the man a dollar.
At the end of the year, he was back with a dollar and nine cents to clear up his debt and asked for the return of his bonds.
Upon returning the bonds the banker asked, “I don’t want to be
inquisitive, but since you have all those bonds, why did you have
to borrow a dollar?”
"Well," said the tightfisted old gent, “I really didn’t have to. But
do you know of any other way I could get the use of a safe-deposit box for nine cents a year?”
nice joke ! other joke but not financial : "Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator says: “Calm down, I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: “OK, now what?”
I’ve heard this joke ages ago… well, at least a different version of it. In my version, a very good customer of the bank insisted on borrowing 1 euro even when he was loaded and offered his car to guarantee that he would pay back… so his car is kept by the bank in the bank’s parking lot until the customer pays his loan back.
Then the branch manager asks him: “Can I know why you insisted so much on this loan when you have so much money?”
And the guy answered: “well, I was going on a trip for a quite long period and I couldn’t find any parking cheaper or safer for my BMW”
I’m not sure if anyone else will find this funny, I thought it was good. Someone sent it me yesterday.
"The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as Euro-English (Euro for short).
In the first year, ‘s’ will be used instead of the soft ‘c’. Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard ‘c’ will be replaced with ‘k.’ Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome ‘ph’ will be replaced by ‘f’. This will make words like ‘fotograf’ 20 per sent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent ’e’s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing ‘th’ by ‘z’ and ‘W’ by ‘V’. During ze fifz year, ze unesesary ‘o’ kan be dropd from vords kontaining ‘ou’, and similar changes vud of kors; be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil b no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru."
In a small town on the South Coast of France, holiday season is in full swing, but it is raining so there is not too much business happening. Everyone is heavily in debt, depressed by the global financial crisis.
Luckily, a rich Russian tourist arrives in the foyer of the small local hotel. He asks for a room and puts a Euro100 note on the reception counter, takes a key and goes to inspect the room located up the stairs on the third floor.
The hotel owner takes the banknote in hurry and rushes to his meat supplier to whom he owes E100.
The butcher takes the money and races to his wholesale supplier to pay his debt.
The wholesaler rushes to the farmer to pay E100 for pigs he purchased some time ago.
The farmer triumphantly gives the E100 note to a local prostitute who gave him her services on credit.
The prostitute goes quickly to the hotel, as she owed the hotel for her hourly room use to entertain clients.
At that moment, the rich Russian is coming down to reception and informs the hotel owner that the proposed room is unsatisfactory and takes his E100 back and departs.
There was no profit or income. But everyone no longer has any debt and the small town people look optimistically towards their future.
BINGO! THE SOLUTION TO THE GLOBAL FINANCIAL CRISIS!