Facing the truth...the ugly truth? Eek!

How do you treat the people you chat to online? With respect, courtesy and a friendly attitude I hope! But are we all the same? :shifty:

Let’s take this scenario: What if you were talking to someone online for a long time and you didn’t know what they looked like until one day you see a new display picture or stumbled across their personal blog. Would your approach change on how you interacted with that person since seeing them? Would you make more time for them if you considered them to be very attractive? What if they were, well…less than picture perfect :goof: - would you distance yourself more? Personally, I would like to believe I would be indifferent either way but can we really be that sure?

Interested to hear your viewpoint! :cool:


Hi Hazel. I don’t think people’s appearances make any difference to how I treat them. But post a picture of yourself and I’ll let you know for sure. :lol:

It is kind of funny that I’ve recently seen pictures of several people in the forums whom I’ve known for a while. Without a picture of someone, it’s interesting how you form a mental picture of them (based on a range of things, including prejudices, I suppose). I find it quite fun to discover that the person looks nothing like I imagined—proving that you can’t judge a book by its cover (to coin a phrase).

but you ~can~ judge an author’s appearance from the picture on the back of the book :smiley: :smiley:

Are you serious? They never look like those staged, 20-year-old, Photoshoped pictures. :lol:

Quite true, I often find that I tend to imagine something completely different too! I wouldn’t say I would treat people differently but I would definitely view them differently if that makes sense. Obviously the idea of what I had in my mind might not be the same, so you tend to see people in a new light. It’s a tricky one really, one shouldn’t be so influenced by such things but I guess sometimes whether we like it or not we can be!

I know you should never judge a book by it’s cover, but can we really stick to that? I mean once you see someone you’ve already got ideas floating about in your head. It shouldn’t be the final call on what you think of people but realistically I do believe you can’t really help but judge people when you see them. As they say, first impressions are usually the last! :shifty: Not that I agree with that statement, but for some people it really is like that!

I agree Ralph, I mean just how much photoshopping was done on this young chap?!

(Sorry Rudy, couldnt resist!)

Hazel, it is always interesting to find out what people look like and how rarely do they look how you imagined them! With things like Facebook, it makes it easier to find out what people look like and I woud hope that the way I treat them would be exactly the same.

Maybe its time for a new mugshot thread?!

actually, that picture is from a couple of years ago – i look a lot more extinguished now

Yeah true, I’m amazed at how many people let loose on those social networking websites. I mean, you go from knowing nothing about someone, then wham, you’ve got albums to go through - it’s a real treat in most cases, others, well sometimes I’d rather I didn’t know quite frankly :shifty: does that make me a bad person?! I hope not, honest yes, but I think it’s very unrealistic to say one might not be affected by such things. What if someone looked like Sharon Stone or Tom Cruise, are you saying you would still be indifferent? :lol:

And yes btw, a new mugshot thread sounds exciting, you can lead by example of course Mike :smiley:

:rofl: it’s a lovely picture Rudy, don’t mind them, they’re just jealous :cool:

Y’all are round faces, yellow or green, with no noses or ears to me. So when I see a picture of someone it’s usually much better looking. If it had any influence on how I think about people, it would have to be only positive. :smiley:

Actually, I’d think they’re a fat 42 year old with ill intention mascoting as a pretty person. :shifty:

I’d say as far as I can tell it works the same way on the internet as in “real life”, I don’t make a huge difference between the two. Always trying to be nice, open and helpful. The more I talk to and get to know a person, the more laid-back, personal and relaxed the conversations generally are. Both online and offline, it’s one life, not two separate ones.

I’m pretty transparent on the internet though, which could make a big difference. I’ve got my contact details on a few places and show my first and last name pretty much everywhere. I can imagine people being tempted to be cocky if they think they’re somewhat anonymous. I just can’t see the value in simply pissing people off, and openly telling someone to “f**k off” could eventually give me quite the bad reputation. It would be idiotic and serve no purpose.

Regarding finding people attractive, the difference is that I may initially find them more interesting, enjoying the view. It’s basic sexuality I guess. Wouldn’t treat them much differently at all though, and eventually I’d likely find them just as boring as the rest of the world. :slight_smile:

Unless, I thought one was talking to a person that I thought was male because they had a strange user name and I couldn’t figure out what gender they were, etc. Then by accident stumbled upon a picture of ‘her’ then I might be a little surprised and act slightly differently.

However, in general it wouldn’t really affect my views if the other person looked like; Quasimodo or Esmeralda or something in-between.

Ralph is that because the ‘young admiring women’ have been sending pictures of themselves after seeing your Learnable course? I hope you told them you were married.

Hazel, hope I don’t look too scary in your mind’s eye. Anyway you’ve actually seen a photo of my truly amazing coding hands. :wink:

That’s probably one of the benefits of meeting people in forums, I don’t scare them as much when they cannot see me. They can get to know me first before judging mainly on appearance.

Is it always the case that it’s going to be something positive? Were you ever thinking why oh why did I even agree to look!? Afterall, there are some pretty cute smileys out there :blush:

I meant that if they did actually resemble say Sharon Stone or Tom Cruise - not actually pretending it was them in a picture…that is pretty pathetic. :goof:

That’s interesting - wise words! It doesn’t pay to be rude or obnoxious in any environment offline/online - as you say, it’s all the same. One way or another it’ll get back to you and no doubt in a negative/damaging manner. It is surprising the amount of people who do actually portray themselves as something above the rest of us but in the end I guess we all know the truth. Beauty is a funny thing, I guess the average view is based on what we see immediately infront of us whereas most times beneath it all, it can be quite ugly indeed!

Yeah, that would be weird alright :goof: I wouldn’t be different towards a person if they looked like the above either, but to say I wouldn’t be unaffected in terms of first seeing what someone looked like would be a lie. Not that I’d judge someone on what they looked like but to say I wouldn’t feel anything about how they looked would be quite incorrect. I believe it’s just human nature for us to react to such things, it just depends on what you do with that reaction and that in turn determines our character. :confused:

Well as I’ve always said, in my minds eye you’re JudgeDredd :lol: I’m not easily scared, except perhaps if it’s ghost/spider related :shifty:

IMO, if people are quick to judge you on purely what you look like and in turn use that as a basis for not wanting to communicate, then you’re better off without them - it’s their loss in the end :cool:

It happens so rarely that nothing negative has had a chance to occur yet.

me? I treated them in a nice way, i am really friendly. But if they were too annoying i tell them that it really pissing me off when someone doing that to me and causing to worse either I ignore them or I deleted them :smiley: sorry.,


I don’t treat people by the look of their face - and i always distance myself on the internet, so i would hope that i would treat them the same way

Judge Dredd, yeah I can see why you think that. I Am the Law. Plus my general reputation regarding my work. No amazing Dredd Helmet though. :slight_smile:

As long as it’s not the terrible Sylvester Stallone Judge Dredd, then it’s OK :slight_smile:

“I am de laaauuw!”

Certainly not the Stallone version. :slight_smile:

I just assume everyone I’m talking to is white, middle-aged, hideously overweight and sitting behind a computer typing around empty pizza boxes and soda cans in their underwear and yelling at Mom to get them something every now and then… and if I see what they look like, well, then I mentally substitute that image in place, mentally.