The population of earth has reached 7 billion people, every single one of whom send you irritating emails to join something called “LinkedIn.”
I have a lifetime’s worth of technical expertise. I wasn’t born – my mother simply chose ‘eject child’ from the special menu.
Google is really powerful. Type in the question “Is there a God?” and it tells you, “THERE IS NOW.”
Mom receives phone call from daughter …
MOM: “What’s wrong? Are you okay? Did something happen?”
DAUGHTER: “No, I just called to see how you were doing!”
MOM: “You never call just to talk. Are you sure nothings wrong? I didn’t see a Facebook post today. Somethings wrong isn’t it?”
DAUGHTER: “No, really, I just called to say hi.”
MOM: “Well, you could have sent me a text sayng hi, so I wouldn’t be worried when you actually called.”
Customer: I’m trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn’t work. What am I doing wrong?
Tech support: OK, You’ve got the CD in the CD drive, right?
Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using?
Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven’t got a computer. It’s in the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen…
During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password:
When asked why she had such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.
Tech Support: ‘Thank you for calling. May I have your phone number beginning with area code first, please?’ There was a pregnant pause, then a series of touch tones.
Tech Support: ‘Hello? I need your phone number, please’. More touch tones.
Tech Support: ‘Hi, can you hear me?’
Tech Support: ‘Great, then can you please tell me your phone number so I can pull up your file?’ More touch tones.
Tech Support: ‘Sir, what’s your name?’
Tech Support: ‘Great, now can you tell me your phone number?’ Touch tones again.
Tech Support: ‘Please, tell me your phone number.’
Tech Support: ‘Yes sir, if you don’t mind, but can you please just tell me verbally?’ Touch tones yet again.
Tech Support: ‘Sir, contrary to popular opinion, support is not half machine. I’ll need you to verbally tell me your phone number with your mouth so I can bring up your account info, got it?’
Customer: ‘You people are rude as well as incompetent.’
This may sound like a joke but actually it’s an example of a very good, secure and easy to remember password!
I’m going to start using it for everything.
I just spent way too long looking at a dancing stormtrooper… fgs sitepoint