Computer humour







Seen that clipart many a time on “equipment broken” notices









Years ago I had to program machines using a teleprinter and one day it stopped working. On opening it there was a dead mouse caught in the mechanism. So not such a rare occurrence!


Person entering data on a floppy disk was told that she had to make a copy at the end of every day to provide a backup. About 6 months later, the disk became corrupt; so the technician asked if she had the copies. She opened a filing cabinet drawer and pulled out a stack of paper; on every sheet was a photocopy of the disk.


I had a guy complaining that his computer had been hacked (of course every time anything strange ever goes wrong, it’s been “hacked”) because whenever he booted the computer, opened a program, closed a program, whatever, the entire theme song to Reading Rainbow would play. The computer hadn’t been hacked, he had just left it unattended and someone came by and set every single Windows sound to play the whole song. I changed the theme and was done. Lesson learned: never leave a computer unattended because there are tricksters out there!


It’s a big problem when users start mistaking a can of WD-40 for canned air… that keyboard was never the same. “It’s sooo oily!?” facepalm


The user slapped a device down on the counter and exclaimed, “My mouse doesn’t work!” The IT pro picked it up, looked at it, then slapped it back down and responded, “that’s because it’s your garage door opener!”


I asked the user if she could right click on her desktop so she could select properties and she said nothing was happening. Again i asked kindly if she could right click on her desktop again and tell me what she sees. Again she said nothing is happening… when i got to her office, I saw the funniest thing. I saw the word “click” written in ink on a paper tablet on her desktop.


I’ve had 6 people (so far) ask what their user ID for a particular system was. I told them it was their employee number. They ask if it was “all caps”. I said “Yes” every time.


A user calls and says, “I just put paper in the printer and still nothing is printing.” I said, “ok, I’ll be right there to look at it.” When I open the paper drawer, the ream of paper was still wrapped!


I don’t remember if I’ve posted the following, already, or not. I’m too lazy to scroll through >600 posts to find out, so I apologise if this is already in the queue. But it’s something that actually happened to me, many years ago.

I was living in Chicago, working for a company that provided off-site System Administration to companies (small and large alike) in the greater Chicagoland area. As far north as Libertyville, as far south as Blue Island, and as far west as Aurora. Guaranteed 2 hour call response, 4 hours onsite. Our office was located in Glenview.

One of our clients was a company involved in the financial industry. There was an HQ and four satellite offices. One day, I received a call from one of their top officers, I’ll call her “Belinda”. Belinda was at the HQ (not far from our office), and said she couldn’t log on to the network from her laptop. I said I’d be there ASAP, and left.

When I got to Belinda’s office, I followed the first rule of troubleshooting network issues - check your physical connections.

Belinda had placed her laptop on her desk, crawled under and unplugged the CAT5 cable from the wall and into her laptop.

When I pointed this out to her (as I’m handing her the invoice for services rendered), her face turned five shades of red. Belinda begged me to not tell anyone. I assured her that her secret was safe, with me.

Two weeks later, having forgotten this episode, Belinda calls from their Aurora office (about an hours drive from our office), she can’t log on to the network.

I drive to Aurora, check the connections, same thing.

She turned TEN shades of red, and begged me to not tell anyone. I said, “Sorry, I’m telling EVERYONE.”

And I did.



AT&T to wed T-Mobile. Following the ceremony there will be no reception.


Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Give a man Twitter, and he will forget to eat and starve to death.