Computer humour


#660

standards, n.: The principles we use to reject other people’s code.


#661

bug, n: A son of a glitch.


#662

Drug Dealers:

Refer to their clients as “users”
“The first one’s free!”
Have important South-East Asian connections (to help move the stuff).
Strange jargon: “Stick,” “Rock,”, “Dime bag,”
Realize that there’s tons of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market.
Job is assisted by the industry’s producing newer, more potent mixes.
Often seen in the company of pushers, pimps, and hustlers.
Their product causes unhealthy addictions.
Do your job well, and you can sleep with sexy movie stars who depend on you.

Programmers:

Refer to their clients as “users”
“Download a free trial version!”
Have important South-East Asian connections (to help debug code).
Strange jargon:“SCSI,” “RTFM”, “Java,” “ISDN”.
Realize that there’s tons of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market.
Job is assisted by the industry’s producing newer, faster, more potent machines.
Often seen in the company of salesman, marketing people and venture capitalists.
DOOM. Marathon. SimCity. Command&Conquor. 'Nuff said.
Damn. Damn! DAMN!!


#664

image


#666

#667

QMy son just sent this link about storing data on punched cards… which reminded me of the handwritten program, I wrote, similar to basic, which was given to a typist that somehow produced the punched cards. The tutor returned with a partial result which was like a roll of wallpaper. I had missed a break point and the computer had to be shutdown to stop the algorithm from completing a maybe endless loop.

The problem was to solve how far up a wall a ladder would reach if it was touching a six foot cubic box that was also touching the wall.


#668

Perhaps they used one of these, John. (I have fond memories of hand card punches!)


#669

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None-That’s a hardware problem :rofl::rofl:


#671

Q: How many Microsoft execs does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None, they just light a candle and declare it the standard.


#672

Fascinating and a wonderful user interface, no need for visual display, predictive text, cut & paste, backspace, Tippex, etc.

I just stumbled across Bubbles…


#673

And if you made a mistake, you could put the chad back in the hole!


#674

How many unix programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None - there is no problem with the lightbulb, you’re using your house wrong.

charlie sheen


#675

I have another joke, but it’s not family-friendly. PM me, if interested.

V/r,

^ _ ^


#676

#677


Post a Funny Sign ;)
#678


#679

going-wireless


#680

The problem with troubleshooting is that trouble shoots back.


#681

Technology is ruled by two types of people: those who manage what they do not understand, and those who understand what they do not manage.


#682

Computer games don’t affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we’d all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.