Computer humour

“Morons. These people who live in my apartment complex are connected to my wireless. They must think they’re super-cool hackers by breaking into my completely unsecure network. Unfortunately, the connection works both ways. Long story short, they now have loads of horse porn on their computer.”

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“Dude, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I’m afraid you’ve been hacked — the FTP server at 127.0.0.1 has all your personal files. See for yourself; just log in with your normal id…” — Classic joke on new Unix users.

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“Who were the beta testers for Preparations A through G ?”

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A t-shirt that I have:

I HAVE NOT LOST MY MIND,
I SOLD IT ON EBAY.

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“You know you’re a geek when… You try to shoo a fly away from the monitor with your cursor. That just happened to me. It was scary.” — Juuso Heimonen

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cool-cartoon-4852135

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techsupport

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Just stated by a co-worker: “It’s kind of like Monday, except Wednesday.”

V/r,

^ _ ^

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Overheard from another co-worker: “I’m telling you, it’s the third Monday.”

V/r,

^ _ ^

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Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

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A doctor, a civil engineer and a programmer are discussing whose profession is the oldest.
“Surely medicine is the oldest profession,” says the doctor. “God took a rib from Adam and created Eve and if this isn’t medicine I’ll be…”
The civil engineer breaks in:
“But before that He created the heavens and the earth from chaos. Now that’s civil engineering to me.”
The programmer thinks a bit and then says:
“And who do you think created chaos?”

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I’ve just been helping a friend set up her first ever iPad, which required her to create an Apple ID. We were a little flummoxed by the subsequent message that some apps would require “parental authorisation” (or something similar), given that we had correctly entered her date of birth as 1937…

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Contacting the parents of an 80 year old? You must have accidentally bought a OuijiPad.

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chuck-norris-dont-write-code

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permanent_record

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