Cheesiest Jokes Ever

Post the worst jokes you’ve ever heard!

This one is actually my favorite, and I use it all the time.

Did you hear about the two peanuts walking down the street?

One was assaulted.

what do you get when you cross a chickien with a dog
roof a roff a roooo

I made this joke up when i was like seven… pretty sad realy!

Why is Corn the best vegetable to tell a joke to?

They’re all ears!

(I predict you’ll hear more outta me :slight_smile: )

that is sooo corny!:smiley:

Whats yellow and doesn’t float?

A Bulldozer.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree?

It had a refridgerator tied to it’s leg.

Why did the other koala fall out of the tree?

Got hit by the previous koala.

Whats green and sits in the corner?

A naughty pee.

Thats about all the Cheesie jokes I can think of at the moment. But I’ll be back with some more as soon as I remeber some more :wink:

what is red and looks like a bucket?

  • A red bucket…:slight_smile:

(also applies the the brown and sticky joke…
what is brown and sticky

  • A stick:)):smiley: :stuck_out_tongue: :slight_smile:

What’s grey and drives a yellow mini?

An elephant.

How many elephants can you fit into a mini?

5…2 in the front, 2 in the back and 1 in the trunk.

How do you know when there’s an elephant in the pub?

There’s a yellow mini parked outside.

These went round my school when I was about 8 or 9. At that age we thought they were hilarious!

What is green and red and spins at 50 miles per hour?

A frog in the blender

One blond asks another “Do you smoke after sex?”

And the other “No, I haven’t noticed”.

What do you do if you see Osama Bin Laden running?

Reload.

What is gray and isn’t there?

An elephant that left

How do you keep an idiot in suspense for a day?

I’ll tell you tomorrow

Why does Batman has a lot of money?

He always gets the Joker

Why did the cat learn to see in the dark?

Couldn’t reach the switch

What do cannibals call a sprinter?

Fast food

More later.

Originally posted by platinum
[B]what is red and looks like a bucket?

  • A red bucket…:slight_smile:
    [/B]

ive heard a slight variation on this one

what is red and looks like a bucket?

  • A red bucket

what is blue and looks like a bucket?
(wait for person to reply a blue bucket)

  • no, a red bucket in disguise

How do you keep a moron in suspense? hold on, il tell you in a minute…

<edit>
got it wrong first time, lol
</edit>

What did the Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant?

Dead Ant…Dead Ant…Dead Ant Dead Ant Dead Ant Dead Ant… Dead Aaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnt… Dead Ant (Sung to the song of the Pink Panther)

Ooohhh, i’ve loads :stuck_out_tongue:

Why didn’t the skeleton go to the ball?
He had no body to go with.

Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
He hadn’t got the guts!!

What do you call a man standing on the edge of a mountain?
Cliff

What do you call a man with a shovel (spade) in the head?
Doug

What do you call a manout with a shovel (spade) in the head?
Douglas

What do you call a woman standing between two houses?
Elaine

What do you call a woman standing in the middle of a tennis court?
Annette

Those are just samplers.

Two penguins are in a bathtub, on of them says “Pass the soap.” and the other says, “What do i look like, a salt shaker?”

waka waka

Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide.

Why did Tigger go to the toilets ?

Because he wanted to see Pooh :smiley:

What’s green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree and lands on you?

A pool table


What did the fish say when he ran into the cement wall?

Dam.


Why does Donald Duck wear invisible suspenders?

To hold up his invisible pants.


A nun, a German, a blonde, a rabbi, and an eskimo walk into a bar. The bartender turns to them and says, "What is this, some kind of joke?


Yes, their sad, I know.

nooooooooooo

JeremyK…you stole my fish joke.

I’ll just have to tell you another then.

This guy walks into a psychiatrist’s office. He tells the doc, “doc, I’ve got a problem. First I think I’m a teepee, then I think I’m a wigwam. Then I think I’m a teepee and then I think I’m a wigwam.”

The doc thinks for a minute and says “I’ve got it…you’re just too tense (two tents).”

Than kyou ladies and gentlemen…I’m here all week.

how do you make a handkerchief dance?
—put a little boogie in it

why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
—he was dead

( ::stuck_out_tongue:

Q. What do you call a woman tied to a jetty?

A. Maude

It’s white and you can’t see it.

A milkbottle around the corner

I got more but not really appropiate for this audience :wink: