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  1. #1
    SitePoint Wizard TWTCommish's Avatar
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    I was just wondering: how many of you here have divorced parents? How old were you, how hard was it on you, how old are you now, etc.

    My parents divorced 6 years ago, when I was about 10...kind of blew my mind...had no idea it was coming and just felt like it just COULD NOT happen...even after hearing about it. If I'd been 2 years younger, like my brother was at the time, I think I would've made it through with little problem, but unfortunatly it was fairly tough. Angry at my dad for awhile, but a year or two later I came to total grips with it all.

    And besides: dad re-married and I have 2 new step-siblings (3rd is due in 4 months!) because of it...mom is re-married as well. So basically, it turned out for the best.

    I'd love to hear of other stories...hope it isn't hard on too many of you...

    Oh, also: how many of you are worried of possibly getting divorced someday as a result? For me, it has made me more aware of it all and has forced me to try to "prepare" for marital problems that will undoubtedly arise when I finally get hitched.


  2. #2
    Destiny Manager Plebius's Avatar
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    My parents separated when I was 11, divorced when I was 13. Now i'm 20. I didn't care much. Better having them divorced than always fighting.


  3. #3
    @russellg RussellG's Avatar
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    My parents divorced when I was about 1 or 2 (I think).

    But my mum remarried and my stepdad is alway buying cool stuff like computers, video cameras etc so it's pretty ok now
    russell.cz.cc - coming soon (I promise!)

  4. #4
    Sports Publisher mjames's Avatar
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    What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.

    I truly feel sorry for some of you who had to go through that kind of trauma, and I feel fortunate that my parents are happily married. If they divorced, though, I would be a mess.

  5. #5
    @russellg RussellG's Avatar
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    Well I didn't have any trauma because I was to young to understand, it was only when I started going to school that I found out about 'daddys'.
    russell.cz.cc - coming soon (I promise!)

  6. #6
    exit();
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    I was gonna start a topic on this, but I didn't want to hurt anybody

    My parents..aren't doing too well

  7. #7
    Your Lord and Master, Foamy gold trophy Hierophant's Avatar
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    I don't have divorced parents but my children do.

    I am as much a part of their lives as before, and I get along with my ex a lot better than before which is a plus. Overall I think it is better for my kids this way because there is more peace in their lives instead of fighting and arguing.
    Wayne Luke
    ------------


  8. #8
    SitePoint Addict jamesglewisf's Avatar
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    Boy, this kind of thread is just heartbreaking. I wish I could offer some words of comfort to you all. I was in high school when things looked pretty rocky for my parents, but somehow they pulled through. It was really scary for me and my three siblings.

    For most of us, a large part of our security and well-being is wrapped up in the stability of our parents' marriage. I'm 34, and it would still be very devestating to me today if my parents broke up. I think that if a lot of parents could see this thread, they might put more effort into trying to stop fighting and keeping their marriages strong. I have a 2.5 year-old daughter, and the idea of putting her through this just kills me.

    I guess I have a recommendation: talk to your grandparents, an aunt or an uncle, youth minister, or your school teacher. Talk to an adult you trust. These people have lived through a lot and can often answer questions or offer comfort. Don't bottle it up.

    My website has forums where you could come and talk. I know it is called MarriedAdults.com, but we really let anybody join in; and it has adults, married and single, who have been through either their own divorces or their parents' divorces. They might be able to answer any questions you have or just listen.
    Jim Lewis
    To BE or Not to BE, or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Barium Enema
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  9. #9
    Destiny Manager Plebius's Avatar
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    I'm glad my parents got divorced. Things got much quieter around after that.

    There are some people that just shouldn't have married each other.

  10. #10
    SitePoint Zealot Lars's Avatar
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    Well it's about 2 Months since my parents broke up witch sadly ended in the death of my mother. She was just too heart broken and didn't see any reason for living anymore so she ended her life.
    But the worst part was finding her one morning with your 2 friends and your brother.

    You guys must think it is impossible to get on with your life when you loose one of your parents in an early age. But trust me it one of the worst things you will be able to experience in your life, I'm sure about that. Well life must go on even if you bite a rotten fruit.

    Thanks for listening...

  11. #11
    @russellg RussellG's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Lars
    Well it's about 2 Months since my parents broke up witch sadly ended in the death of my mother. She was just too heart broken and didn't see any reason for living anymore so she ended her life.
    But the worst part was finding her one morning with your 2 friends and your brother.

    You guys must think it is impossible to get on with your life when you loose one of your parents in an early age. But trust me it one of the worst things you will be able to experience in your life, I'm sure about that. Well life must go on even if you bite a rotten fruit.

    Thanks for listening...
    I'm speechless...

    All I have to say is that you must be one strong person to have gone through that, let your mother rest in peace.
    russell.cz.cc - coming soon (I promise!)

  12. #12
    will code HTML for food Michel V's Avatar
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    My parents got separated when i was 11. My mother was cheating our dad with Pat (who is now my stepfather, and who then was cheating his wife aswell) for 1 year and a half before she left home, with me & my younger sister. It has in no points been a trauma for us, nor a bad experience. Mom said to dad: "I'm going to live on the north of the city with the children, i got a work there.", which was half true: it was north of the city, but work was always the same, and it was with the children ...and Pat.
    One day when i was at dad's with my sister, she came to fetch us and she had fresh scars on her face. Dad asked what happened, she was almost crying and said "Oh, nothing, just a furious cat.", and it don't remember how, but she finally said it was Pat's wife who came & fighted her when she was going out of work. Then Dad understood everything (about the apart north of the city, etc) and he slapped us children, crying "Why did you too lie to me ?".
    It's maybe the only bad memory i have of this.
    Some months later, my parents stopped arguing when they were meeting, and everyone began friends like before, my dad with my stepdad, etc... excepted Pat's previous wife (hey, they had a kid just 2 years before...).

    Since everything was so clear, for a long time i didn't understand why children were traumatized by divorce.

    So, my answer to the main question is: no, i don't have divorced parents. They thought about the financial advantages of remaining married, and are officially just separated.
    But the funny thing is that i have a close friend whose parents are divorced since '90 too and still live in the same apartment. Her dad still pays for everyone's food & stuff, that's so weird...


    Lars may your mom be happier in the other world. You seem to be strong.
    [blogger: zengun] [blogware contributor: wordpress]

  13. #13
    Idea Developer
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    nope, good luck though
    Professional PHP programing / Hosting
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  14. #14
    SitePoint Enthusiast
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    Originally posted by Lars
    Well it's about 2 Months since my parents broke up witch sadly ended in the death of my mother. She was just too heart broken and didn't see any reason for living anymore so she ended her life.
    But the worst part was finding her one morning with your 2 friends and your brother.

    You guys must think it is impossible to get on with your life when you loose one of your parents in an early age. But trust me it one of the worst things you will be able to experience in your life, I'm sure about that. Well life must go on even if you bite a rotten fruit.

    Thanks for listening...
    I am speechless also...

    Though no pun intended, my parents have been married 16 years, going onto 17 years in January.
    Fiber
    fiber@liquid2k.com
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    "Prepare yourself, it's da human beatbox"

  15. #15
    SitePoint Wizard jumpthru's Avatar
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    Wow, I am so sorry.

  16. #16
    SitePoint Zealot Lars's Avatar
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    Well thanks, let her rest in peace. Just remeber guys being strong isn't the same as keeping in your feelings, they must come out otherwise they will get worse. That was what killed my mother, "the door was open for her, but she had to walk through it herself, whitch she didn't want to." The day after my dad left her she got fired from her work, whitch was absolutely enough to make her so depressed that she had to kill herself. I am not really sad now over the incident because I have so many kind people to talk to and support me.


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