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  1. #1
    Chikin Choker Hellbent's Avatar
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    40 phrases never heard in the south

    40. Oh I just couldn't. Hell, she's only sixteen.
    39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
    38. Duct tape won't fix that.
    37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.
    36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
    35. We don't keep firearms in this house.
    34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
    33. You can't feed that to the dog.
    32. I thought Graceland was tacky.
    31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
    30. Wrasslin's fake.
    29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
    28. We're vegetarians.
    27. Do you think my gut is too big?
    26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
    25. Honey, we don't need another dog.
    24. Who's Richard Petty?
    23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
    22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
    21. Spittin is such a nasty habit.
    20. I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart today.
    19. Trim the fat off that steak.
    18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
    17. The tires on that truck are too big.
    16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
    15. I've got it all on the C drive.
    14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
    13. Would you like your salmon poached or broiled?
    12. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
    11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
    10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
    09. Checkmate.
    08. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
    07. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
    06. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
    05. I don't have a favorite college team.
    04. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
    03. I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
    02. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
    01. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin tonight.
    Straight from the TP! And I don't mean the Trailer Park.

  2. #2
    ********* obeah makeda's Avatar
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    HB,

    I'm asking you this because I know you're from Texas...don't these stereotypes bother you? I'm from NC and I am tired of the way people talk about the South. Disrespecting southerners is the last, acceptable form of discrimination in the US and its pretty pathetic.

    -M

  3. #3
    Chikin Choker Hellbent's Avatar
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    Originally posted by makeda
    HB,

    I'm asking you this because I know you're from Texas...don't these stereotypes bother you? I'm from NC and I am tired of the way people talk about the South. Disrespecting southerners is the last, acceptable form of discrimination in the US and its pretty pathetic.

    -M
    Nah, not at all. I find them amusing because a lot of people actually fall into milder versions of these stereotypes. It would not be funny if is was not somewhat based on reality. Is it exaggerated? sure it is, but it is all in fun.

    It seems to me people in the politcally correct era have begun to take themselves too seriously. At the first hint of something off colour they seem to flare into indignation. I find that offensive. Duct tape and pickup trucks are a way of life in the south. Why not poke a little fun?
    Straight from the TP! And I don't mean the Trailer Park.

  4. #4
    Just Blow It bronze trophy
    DaveMaxwell's Avatar
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    Ah, but the off color is only offensive is brought on by the "majority". The oxymoron of political correctness - it's only necessary unless the people are being made fun of by a member of that group.

    Did either of you happen to watch star search last night (or last Wednesday)? They had a "comic" named Jeff Garcia on who did nothing but tell ethnic jokes both times. People thought he was funny because he happened to be hispanic. Now if a white man (or woman for that matter, though I'd bet the woman would get a little more leeway) would have made those same joke, he'd have been booed off the stage.

    I have no problems with poking fun gently with off-color humor. One of the greatest traits of the human spirit is the ability to laugh at ourselves. However, I have a problem with people being insulted by someone considered an outsider, but those same people either enjoying that humor when brought on by someone of the same race and/or gender or bringing it out themselves.

    OK, sorry for the rant. Back to the regularly scheduled programming....
    Dave Maxwell - Manage Your Site Team Leader
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  5. #5
    SitePoint Wizard silver trophy Jeremy W.'s Avatar
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    Pfft, American jokes are like American beer. Watered down and only good for the dog.

    :runs from Dave:
    SVP Marketing, SoCast SRM
    Personal blog: Strategerize
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  6. #6
    ********* Streaker Lister14's Avatar
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    Re: 40 phrases never heard in the south

    Originally posted by Hellbent
    40. Oh I just couldn't. Hell, she's only sixteen.
    (...),but it is all in fun.
    Don't worry HB I understand you...
    roy.lu
    C:\DOS... C:\DOS\RUN... RUN\DOS\RUN...!

  7. #7
    Just Blow It bronze trophy
    DaveMaxwell's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Jeremy W.
    Pfft, American jokes are like American beer. Watered down and only good for the dog.
    I wouldn't even give MY dog american beer.....

    If you want to see something funny, see a dog after he's eaten a whole tray of vodka jello that was intended for shots. Had never seen a dog drunk before, or with a hangover the next day. He never ate jello again.
    Dave Maxwell - Manage Your Site Team Leader
    My favorite YouTube Video! | Star Wars, Dr Suess Style
    Learn how to be ready for The Forums' Move to Discourse

  8. #8
    ********* obeah makeda's Avatar
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    I'm all for laughing at oneself, I guess I've just reached the boiling point on this particular subject.

    EDIT --
    I think the reason I'm so bothered is that I don't think these things are relegated to the south and the people making these jokes frequently do so with a "better than thou" attitude.
    Last edited by makeda; Jan 17, 2003 at 06:57.

  9. #9
    Chikin Choker Hellbent's Avatar
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    Originally posted by makeda
    I'm all for laughing at oneself, I guess I've just reached the boiling point on this particular subject.

    EDIT --
    I think the reason I'm so bothered is that I don't think these things are relegated to the south and the people making these jokes frequently do so with a "better than thou" attitude.
    Dont sweat it makeda, here is the funny thing. They could come to Texas and drink in a Texan bar and make all the southerner jokes they wanted if the tone was friendly, But with the tone you describe them using they wouldent be making southern cracks for long . Arrogance never goes unchecked for long.

    <humor>Unless your british </humor>
    Straight from the TP! And I don't mean the Trailer Park.

  10. #10
    busy Steelsun's Avatar
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    Besides, we all know that everyone is jealous of the south, and especially jealous of Texas. After all we live in the best state in the best country. And we be drunk & armed!
    Brian Poirier
    SunStockPhoto: Stock Photos, Fine Art Photos, Event Photography

  11. #11
    chown linux:users\ /world Hartmann's Avatar
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    It is ok if a southerner is making the jokes because he is usually right on. There is a guy from Longview named Rodney Carrington and he will have you crying from laughter. The reason is almost everything he says, we have done.

    I personally don't mind southern humor because I fit into a lot of it. I am Texan, I love Texas, if you don't, don't bother stopping......

    Never ask a man if he is from Texas. If he is, he'll tell you. If he isn't, there is no need to embarrass him.

  12. #12
    Chikin Choker Hellbent's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Hartmann
    It is ok if a southerner is making the jokes because he is usually right on. There is a guy from Longview named Rodney Carrington and he will have you crying from laughter. The reason is almost everything he says, we have done.

    I personally don't mind southern humor because I fit into a lot of it. I am Texan, I love Texas, if you don't, don't bother stopping......

    Never ask a man if he is from Texas. If he is, he'll tell you. If he isn't, there is no need to embarrass him.
    Amen
    Straight from the TP! And I don't mean the Trailer Park.

  13. #13
    Fine Tuned silver trophy KC's Avatar
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    Native Texan as well, and I've never been offended by anyone poking fun at my accent. And the politically correct thing I never understood. What is correct about anything involving politics.

    One of my favorite comedians is Jeff Foxworthy (also a Texan) especially his monologue about people should wear a "stupid" sign. And his comment about Texans always saying "I'll tell you whut". Guess you have to listen to him to understand.

  14. #14
    chown linux:users\ /world Hartmann's Avatar
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    I have heard those too URally And I do say "I'll tell you whut". Jeremy W. says I have a real southern accent.... I guess that's a compliment

  15. #15
    busy Steelsun's Avatar
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    Yee Haa!
    Last edited by Steelsun; Jan 17, 2003 at 12:08.
    Brian Poirier
    SunStockPhoto: Stock Photos, Fine Art Photos, Event Photography

  16. #16
    Fine Tuned silver trophy KC's Avatar
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    Some more funnies about Texans

    Texas Dictionary

    Texicons

    English Dialects and World Dialects
    Last edited by URAlly; Jan 17, 2003 at 12:57.

  17. #17
    Non-Member mmi's Avatar
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    Cool the Lone Star State's finest export

    the band less reverent than Spike Jones, but more punctual than George -- the famous, fabulous, fearless, and flamboyant Austin Lounge Lizards (3.25 MB .mp3)

  18. #18
    Fine Tuned silver trophy KC's Avatar
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    mmi, the link isn't working for me. I get the media player in the browser but the status line shows "done". Is it operator error or the link?

  19. #19
    Non-Member mmi's Avatar
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    hmm, I dunno - I sent my brother a link the other day and he reported the same difficulty - I get it to play on my machine - even in the Insufferable Encumbrance

    maybe the best I can do for is offer up the lyrics - and be sure t' get out there and buy those Lizard discs!

    http://www.austinlizards.com/Employee/texas.html

  20. #20
    Fine Tuned silver trophy KC's Avatar
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    Yup

    Pretty much sums it up.

  21. #21
    busy Steelsun's Avatar
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    I love it.

    Although the 'big hair' stuff has mostly died out (except in very rural places like Dibol, Cut-n-Shoot, and any Aggie game).
    Brian Poirier
    SunStockPhoto: Stock Photos, Fine Art Photos, Event Photography

  22. #22
    chown linux:users\ /world Hartmann's Avatar
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    Yeah we have a few of the big hair cities near Lubbock... (Comanche, Cottonwood, Post, Live Oak )

    The Austin Lounge Lizards do sum it pretty well.... So do Pat Green and Cory Morrow

  23. #23
    Chikin Choker Hellbent's Avatar
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    Speaking of local Texas Music let's not forget my boys Cross Canadian Ragweed.
    Straight from the TP! And I don't mean the Trailer Park.

  24. #24
    chown linux:users\ /world Hartmann's Avatar
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    hehe, I am friends with Cody Canada...

    My fraternity (Alpha Tau Omega) is having Wade Bowen and West 84 and Bleu Edmondson play at our True to Texas party.

    We have had Cross Canadian, Pat Green, Jack Ingram, Cory Morrow, Robert Earl Keen, and Roger Creager all play at the university. And since Pat Green and Cory Morrow both went to school here they play extra long shows....

    Last CCR played here was with Willie Nelson and Willie played from 11:00pm till 2:00pm when they had to remove him from the stage because of city law.

  25. #25
    busy Steelsun's Avatar
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    Don't forget Reverand Horton Heat (Wiggle Stick Baby!), Pantera, Buddy Holly, Brave Combo, and the gods of southern rock ZZ Top!
    Brian Poirier
    SunStockPhoto: Stock Photos, Fine Art Photos, Event Photography


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