What does this girl want?

[kvnwpts]

Hi.

So basically when I started my new school I added a girl on Facebook, and she was from my school.

I had never seen her before and she had never seen me.

She asked right after I added her, "Hi, who are you?". And I looked at it and forgot to answer her...

Now three weeks later, she writes to me "Why don't you answer?".. I replied, "Ops sorry, and to answer your first question my best answer is that my name is Kevin. ".

She writes to me that she has seen me in school a couple of times and ask me if I was the person sitting opposite her in the foodroom (or whatever to call it, where you eat. haha).

It was me, and we continued the conversation, asking eachother questions and stuf... I asked her if she had a boyfriend, and she said yes.

Next day in school we said hello to eachother for the first time.
That day we didn't talk on facebook, and not the next day either. (We didnt see eachother at school either these two days)

The next day we kinda met in school, and said hi to eachother again.. Then after school she wrote "Hi Kevin. " on facebook.

Shes like a dreamgirl for me, shes really really good looking. I am also good looking.

So what does she want since she has a boyfriend? What do you think?

[guido2004]

Be friends?

[xhtmlcoder]

Most likely she'll only want to be friends (or at least for now) especially if she talks about her boyfriend by name. You can always ask her about him if you did it with tact; like how long they have been together, or who he is and what she likes about him, etc. Do you happen to know any other of her friends she hangs around with?

I don't know what you talked about or her body language was like when you met properly. Though if she looks at you a lot in the eyes and smiles or does not move away when you get close (within arms-length) the chances are she is comfortable with you. You might think she is your dream girl (but is that purely your physical desire) or do you think she likes you for your personality, etc.

Is she into geeky web designers or beards? Many classy women are into geeks but she won't like you being awestruck if she really is physically beautiful - I presume you also like her mind.

I assume you are still a teenager approx. 17. What are her likes/hobbies I presume you have asked her? Just get to know her first as a friend.

The chances are if she'd dump the boyfriend first if she really likes you - and tell you at a later date she had done so. Otherwise just assume she likes you as a friend, girls are more complex that way. Men sometimes think with their eyes and man parts even if the possibility is only is slim or on a subconscious level. So give it time and maybe if you are still taking in a few months time you might be able to judge better if she just want to be friends.

[arthur2012]

Hi!I think that girl want to be friends with you for now because first she has a boyfriend and secondly he wants to know you more since you said that you're good-looking.A girl won't spend time chatting on Facebook to a guy whom she didn't like.Try knowing each other more and don't rush things out.Most girls don't like it.I know that because I'm a girl also..

[naveed01]

She wants to be friends with you.

[Shaun(OfTheDead)]

Maybe she likes to talk to you when she falls out with her boyfriend for some kind of emotional support, or so she could remind herself she's still pretty or who knows. Do you give her a lot of compliments when you talk?

Just don't get hung up on only her because she'll just keep you stringing along. Write her off as "just a friend" and keep your romantic prospects open otherwise.

[kvnwpts]

We havent really talked in real life, we have said hi to eachother and smiled like two times.
She kinda talk to me about everything, and she ask me questions, so do I. (On facebook)

I havent given her any compliments at all
She is talking to me before she goes to sleep, and like before we go to school, and ofcourse during the day. (On facebook)

She has alot of friends, and she is talking to me?

(I'm not a geek at all btw).

And.. I did ask her "Are you single?" and she answerd, "No, what about you?".

[3dy.ro]

Starting a thread with a very attention-grabbing title asking for help on understanding female behavior...

Expecting some guys on a tech forum to be able to help...

Write about a girl which 1. has a boyfriend, and 2. is just trying to interact with you, not even suggesting to do things together, meet, or anything like that.

I'm just gonna quote Dr. Love for you:

Be friends?

[mukluknation]

Of course the easy answer is that she wants to be "friends", but I think that it's more than that. Considering that she has never talked to you before and she has a boyfriend could mean that she is into you and wants to keep you "on the side" just in case something goes wrong between her and her boyfriend. I would certainly play along and wait for the perfect moment to jump in and get her

[kvnwpts]

Exactly.. I think it's what you say here.

Of course the easy answer is that she wants to be "friends", but I think that it's more than that. Considering that she has never talked to you before and she has a boyfriend could mean that she is into you and wants to keep you "on the side" just in case something goes wrong between her and her boyfriend. I would certainly play along and wait for the perfect moment to jump in and get her

[guido2004]

I'm sure that's what you hope it is
Who knows, not us for sure, we never saw her or talked to her.

If she's your dream girl, go for it! Good luck.

[kvnwpts]

She is, and she is so kind.

And I know that look isnt everything, but I'm much better looking than her guy now.

But you can close this thread now.

I'm sure that's what you hope it is
Who knows, not us for sure, we never saw her or talked to her.

If she's your dream girl, go for it! Good luck.

[xhtmlcoder]

Fair enough now we know she is a very chatty person online since she likes chatting on FB maybe if you asked her whom else she chats to... you'd learn if she was just chatty or focusing more on you. But she doesn't seem to be available at the momment.

So basically you've just met fleetingly and said hello (in real life) and other polite formalities in real life, like talked about the weather.

She at least wants to be your friend or thinks she does. Though don't go showering her with complements (since she said she was in a relationship). If you give any at all make sure they a subtle and just friendly. Now if she hadn't a boyfriend then things might differ a little... I know plenty enough different girls that I could chat to online everyday if I wanted but they're all just friends.

There is nothing wrong with geeks; 'på chimpansernas tid var jag en apa'.

At the moment the best option like was stated is assume she wants to be friends at least for now. I know Nuria @molona like these types of topics and she's a girl so might give you her perspective.

[vogo1988]

make friend with you ?

[myesources]

why not just for make common friends? i think you think too much..hehe

[molona]

I know Nuria @molona like these types of topics and she's a girl so might give you her perspective.

I guess that I can give the female point of view...


* Don't believe everything people says online. Even when it is probable that she's telling the truth (it is only casual chat) and she knows that she will see you at school, that doesn't mean that all she says is true

* She has a boyfriend and although if you're teenagers that doesn't mean much (relationships changes as the person matures... or doesn't mature ) there's a principle that would help a lot if people (whatever age) could follow it through. You're in relationship? = Off limits. We can only be friends and that's it no matter how hard the temptation.
First, because there're would be the feelings of a third person involved, even if he's an a.... Don't do to others what you don't want for yourself

Second, because if it is true that she fancies you and, by accident, you kiss her or...whatever and her boyfriend learns about it, there's going to be trouble. That would be an unnecessary complication that nobody wants.

The fact that she contacted you doesn't have to mean a thing. Some people simply looooooves to have hundreds of people in their FB friend list (you can easy check that by looking the number of friends she has there).

The way you say it, it looks that she does fancy you but... is that really so? the thing is that we only have your point of view, and your point of view is that you want her to fancy you. So there's a risk there that you're not seeing reality, only what you would like it to be.

You say that you're good looking (beauty is in the eye of the beholder so maybe she doesn't consider you that attractive. Sorry if I burst your bubble) and that she's too. Maybe she is too inmature to appreciate true friendship and simply wants to be sourrounded by attractive people like herself.

Maybe she really likes you and she's taking the first steps to get closer to you. Being friends would be a good starting point but, anyway, until she breaks up for good with her boyfriend, going beyond friendship is a no-no.

Maybe she's just getting closer to you with the purpose of making her boyfriend jelous...

There are many details that we don't know and that I don't think that a person who wants things to be in a certain way can really measure or appreciate. And there are thousands of reasons why she contacted you that we can discuss. Most of the time, the simpler cause seems to be true. She was bored, searched for names that were familiar to her on FB, just out of curiosity, and that's why she found you because she didn't see you as a risk since she knew you were in the same school. No hidden purpose.

Still, you (and we) can go mad with the endless possibilities so, in summary:

In summary, I would keep the famous KISS principle (Keep It Simple Stupid)

That means:

* Don't try to figure out what she wants. You'll probably get it wrong. Whatever it has to be, it will be. And just figuring the whole thing out will give you headaches. It is not worth it.

PS: She's not your dream girl (not yet, at least). She may be beautiful but nobody is perfect. You simply don't know what's wrong with her yet. The only perfect person is the one that accepts you the way you are, that even if you fight with her still loves you, and stands by your side for better or worse. And then, it doesn't matter how she looks.

PS: what I really like in a boy is his intelligence and have curiosity, someone I can talk to about anything and well informed. I don't care if he's a geek or not. But if being a geek shows passion for whatever he likes, enthusiam and knowledge, so be it. I don't mind

[rainy_hu]

I think she just want to make friend with you.
Because in the campus life, in addition to learning, but also an important thing, it is much a friend.
Of course, you can like others said it, try and her development the relationship, if you like her words.

[TechnoBear]

She is, and she is so kind.

That's good. Because if she ever Googles you and finds this thread, you might well need her to be.

[vajra]

She loves you now....You should understand.

[guido2004]

She loves you now....You should understand.

Wow. I have lots of female friends on FB. Do you think they all love me?

[vajra]

Yes of course ,they can love you.They can think about you and they can also wish that you should love them.
Further it depends upon you that how can you manage them....

[conradical]

She wants your kidney. It is clear.

[charleswilson971]

May be she likes you and trying to hide her feeling with such thing. I think you have to talk face to face. I am definitely sure she like you and she don't have a boyfriend.

[xhtmlcoder]

Kevin, the consensus seems to be it's too early to tell but the safest best is to assume she just simply wants you as a friend at the moment - nothing more - even if she really likes your looks and personality. Remember if that is all she wants; then at least wait before doing anything rash; before you get to know her better. You wouldn't want to ruin this early friendship.

That's good. Because if she ever Googles you and finds this thread, you might well need her to be.

If she is a good friend she'll 'understand mostly' since he has been asking for "advice" and assuming he can also accept the scenario she might only want to be "friends" she'll be fine. Though she might not have been impressed about the idea of two boys wanting - fighting her - when she already has a boyfriend. Obviously depending upon her personality.

PS: what I really like in a boy is his intelligence and have curiosity, someone I can talk to about anything and well informed. I don't care if he's a geek or not. But if being a geek shows passion for whatever he likes, enthusiasm and knowledge, so be it. I don't mind

Nuria, cool Geek Girls rock too! Especially ones that like building computers. I think you were aiming for the Golden post within this one.

Wow. I have lots of female friends on FB. Do you think they all love me?

Of course how could they not? Just hope the male ones don't too. Seriously though you are a good guy Guido so I am sure those girls do like you in a friendly manner. Community team gives the best answers.

[ServerStorm]

Hi Kevin,

Why don't you spend some 'real' time with her. Just as friends - for now but respect the fact she's in a relationship. Get to know the 'real' her and if something is meant to happen more than friends she and you will know and can discuss potential concerns (i.e. her cheating, you over-stepping your bounds ...). This way you can determine if you do sincerely like her for her and not just her looks (the later being far more important in anything but the short term) ). Through this process she can decide if you should be more than a friend. However be careful as mad boyfriends can get 'put the beat on you' and social media can smear your name faster than anything.

Regards
Dr. Steve (kidding no Dr. )