I would like to build a website from the ground up. The website would have both registered users and guest users, need to store large amounts of data, and building a secure and scalable website would be top priorities.

I tend to be a perfectionist, classic ADHDer, and I often get hung up when things don't transfer from my head to paper well.

Understanding that about myself I think keeping a minimalistic design approach would be best, especially considering graphic design is not one of my strong suits. Also, I think I need to have a specific plan and strategy in place before I attempt this.

I come from a VB6, VB.NET, SQL, Windows Environment background.

I am looking for technology recommendations that are in line with my current background, book recommendations, what order to read the books in, and overall design & strategy advice that would
address the entire process of creating a fairly large and complex website.

Obviously this is a pretty wide scope and could include things like design patterns and theory, testing, deployment, best practices, visual studio, asp, css, html, javascript, web services..

Just listing all that makes the task feel overwhelming, and I am looking for advice to make that list more manageable!