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Thread: funny joke

  1. #1
    psycho
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    THIS IS FUNNY: Good: Your wife is pregnant.Bad: It's triplets Ugly: You had a vasectomy five years ago Good: Your wife's not talking to youBad: She wants a divorce Ugly: She's a lawyerGood: Your son is finally maturing Bad: He's involved with the woman next doorUgly: So are you Good: Your son studies a lot in his room Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there.Ugly: You're in them Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids Bad: You can't find your birth control pills Ugly: Your daughter borrowed themGood: Your husband understands fashion Bad: He's a cross-dresserUgly: He looks better than you Good: You give the "birds and bees" talk to your daughter Bad: She keeps interruptingUgly: With corrections Good: The postman's early Bad: He's wearing fatigues and carrying a shotgun Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas Good: Your son is dating someone newBad: It's another man Ugly: He's your best friendGood: Your daughter got a new job Bad: As a hookerUgly: Your coworkers are her best clients Way Ugly: She makes more money than you do




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    joke 2 :

    Man and his wife are driving down the road. The wife syas, "Honey, I want a divorce." The man says nothing and drives faster. "By the way," she says. "i've already seen a lawyer, and I'm going to get half of everything you own." The man says nothing, smiles grimly, and drives even faster. The wife says, "Oh, and by the way, I've been having an affair with your best friend for the last 5 years." The man stills says nothing, keeps smiling grimly, and now the car is going 90 mph. The wife says, "Well, what do you have to say about all this?" The man says, "Our car has a driver's side air-bag only, and that's a bridge abuttment we're about to hit."

  2. #2
    BoOm-Rocka! Smarky's Avatar
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    LOL
    Garlic bread, I've tasted it, it's the future

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    SitePoint Addict Chris Roane's Avatar
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    HAHAHAHA! That's funny.

    Chris Roane

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    Destiny Manager Plebius's Avatar
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    Q: How many republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

    A: None. The lightbulb should take responsibility and change itself.

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    SitePoint Zealot Isaiah's Avatar
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    I like it! I love it! I want some more of it... (Fellow country music fans should get that).
    Isaiah Walter
    Owner / Visionary
    White Wonder Studios - San Diego web design & graphics
    www.whitewonder.com

  6. #6
    SitePoint Member
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    Tim Mc Graw

    I remember falling...
    i remember marching..
    like a one man army..


  7. #7
    SitePoint Enthusiast
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    What do you get when you play country music backwards?
    Your wife comes back, the Chevy starts, the dog comes back to life, and the bank gives you back your trailer.


    How many Democrats does it take to change a lightbulb?
    None. They'd rather live in the dark.


    Why does Bill Clinton wear flannel boxer shorts?
    To keep his ankles warm.

  8. #8
    SitePoint Zealot Technics's Avatar
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    lol @ the bill clinton joke man thats funny. (or do i need to get out more ? (second thoughts don't answer that please!!!!))

  9. #9
    SitePoint Wizard TWTCommish's Avatar
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    Geez - those are some of the funniest things I've ever heard. I even like the republican joke - even though I AM one!

    How many teen pop sensations does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    One - she holds the bulb and the world revoles around her.


    This isn't a joke, but I still find it amusing...

    Since the Cubs last won the World Series...the Titanic was built, set sail, sank, had a movie made about it, was found at the bottom of the ocean, and had a re-make of the original movie made about it.

  10. #10
    SitePoint Wizard
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    LOL LOL LOL

    But Chris don't bash the Cubs. They got into the playoffs last year and they have an awesome pitcher. Also even though they aren't the best their stadium is almost always packed to the brim.

  11. #11
    SitePoint Wizard TWTCommish's Avatar
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    Uh, no they didn't...they finished 67-95, dead last in the division and 30 games out of first place.

  12. #12
    SitePoint Wizard TWTCommish's Avatar
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    Oh, and their stadium is packed to the brim because it's the oldest around...in fact it was built shortly after they last won a World Series. And besides, that "good pitcher" is only in his early twenties and just missed a year due to an arm injury. They had some other great young pitchers, but traded them for basically nothing.

    Ah, the Cubs - always good to rip on!

  13. #13
    Lord of the Underworld
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    ahh well, I dont know anything about baseball, but being an ozy, I got some good kiwi jokes (if any kiwi's (NZ'ers) are offended, mods please delete this post, it's in the spirit of fun)...


    q. How do you know if a Kiwi has hacked your computer?

    a. The RAM is screwed

    hehehehe

    Adam


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