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Apr 25, 2011, 12:58 #26
Yes! you are right on the button and of course I know it - why else would I have stopped myself from biting back in the first place? I know that's just going to make a big problem out of something that is really my own fault, and creating tension won't help anything at all.*
*(sometimes later you end up in more trouble by being diplomatic, and someone says you should have nipped it in the bud...)
I just came back because I was having a think, and I know that the real reason I reacted so emotionally was that in fact I'm so short of money right now that I had been counting the days (well, weeks) until this was finished and making plans. It's childish - I felt like a little kid who has been told they can't have a new toy. It's also kind of screwed up that I could get that bothered about such a small amount of money. That's not their fault either.
I think perhaps if I just stay calm and when I am in a good 'place' and have an opportunity to raise the subject, I should just ask them nicely to pay me even though their content isn't ready. I think that was what I thought I could do at the time, but the worry ate away at me.
The person who initially approached me has been a client for quite a while now, and I regularly do bits and pieces on their website. I quite consciously gave them 'mates rates', and had actually been really pleased about how everything was going. They actually told me they were going to pay quite a lot more than first agreed (relatively), and things were going brilliantly as I felt I now had lots of happy people who were in a great position to recommend me to their contacts. I was even networking them with old friends.
I had a falling-out with my original client, way back when. I came and asked advice about that here as well. We sorted it all out in the end and I got a sincere apology and explanation that there had been a misunderstanding. But I did have to send that formal (sort of) email.
I suppose another thing is being treated with "suspicion" by someone when I know my original client trusts me and would probably be quite shocked if she thought I felt I was under suspicion of being the type to "cut and run". I really think if there was a real issue there she would back me up because she knows I'd never do that.
I have been applying liberal doses of beer to the issue. I'm not a drinker by anyone's standards, but it seemed more sensible and healthy to get out and chill out than stay in and stew. Time heals all etc.
It's quite freaky to see this on the list of top forum topics, by the way. LOL, asking for trouble! Oh well, so far I have resisted the urge to delete anything I've said. It's come close once or twice!
Anyway, time to try to be zen ...
Came back to say I also noticed this is a good thing overall. It's giving me back some of my usual pep. I tend to be at my best when I have something to get me going ... (Six Impossible Things Before Breakfast, and fierce). It probably is actually relevant to my attitude in general that I'm female, btw. I noticed the blurb says 'he' and thought 'haha', but for one thing it explains why I don't care much about sounding like a psychopathic angry freak, and for another why I seem so 'emotional'. It's handbags at dawn!