you can't see when a database was updated that i know of. however, you can see when a table was. use this query:
and look at the Update_time column.
SHOW TABLE STATUS LIKE 'table'
MySQL databases are directories in the data directory. to see where your data directory is, use this query:
SHOW VARIABLES LIKE 'datadir'
BTW though, usually to "upload the database to a server," you have a dumpfile that you import with the mysql client. you don't usually manually copy the database files to the data directory.