The Social Skills of a Web Developer - or lack thereof!

[dnordstrom]

I'm an INTJ, so socialising isn't my thing. My usual behaviour is similar to that of a grizzly bear in a foul mood. And a toothache.

I'm an INTJ as well, introvert strategist and as such pretty asocial. I like working from home, alone in my studio which I've set up nicely.

My clients are happy. It limits my work in the way that I as a startup have to push myself to get clients as I'm not social by nature. I believe in Jason Fried's philosophy that meetings are toxic, and prefer email or structured collaboration via a nice PM software.

When I do get clients, they tend to stick with me though. Never had one leave, never had one that doesn't take what I say seriously and listen to me. Probably will at some point, been "lucky" until now.

There's your answer. Now send over some clients. Seriously, I could use them.

[AutisticCuckoo]

When I do get clients, they tend to stick with me though.

I think that's quite typical for an INTJ. Those we don't scare off immediately tend to appreciate us and stick around.

[kohoutek]

I'm an INTJ as well, introvert strategist and as such pretty asocial. I like working from home, alone in my studio which I've set up nicely.

My clients are happy. It limits my work in the way that I as a startup have to push myself to get clients as I'm not social by nature. I believe in Jason Fried's philosophy that meetings are toxic, and prefer email or structured collaboration via a nice PM software.

When I do get clients, they tend to stick with me though. Never had one leave, never had one that doesn't take what I say seriously and listen to me. Probably will at some point, been "lucky" until now.

There's your answer. Now send over some clients. Seriously, I could use them.

That sums me up as well. Not because it's cool or geeky, but because I'm set up that way, and I've been born an introvert (long before the internet/computer days).

[AlexDawson]

I don't think geeks are that anti-social, it's rather interesting actually that with the rise in computer usage, the geek has turned from the "freaky kid" who lives in a basement to an idealistic type role which most people these days recognise and see as a decent job type. I read a scientific study from psychologists that are now saying that geeks have actually become a more "sexually attractive" type of persona (possibly due to the way society is moving). As for the personality tests, it's easy for you to say "Yep that sums me up" but it's worth noting that saying you are that kind of person and actually being that kind of person is VERY different. People very often have false persona's that they reflect upon themselves and you're far too subjective as an individual to pick a personality type and say "that's who I am". Being social is something you learn, it's not a natural thing. If you examine those cases of feral children where they had no social interaction, they grew up with no social skills and essentially went native. This thread's pretty much just stereotypes and old arguments. Some people are more social than others, some people like being a web professional as they can hide behind a screen, others like it because of the potential for further contact, there's no right or wrong answer.

[Dwarfstyle]

Does being anti-social really matter?

If you are happy with yourself, and your life then I don't see why it should be an issue. So long as it doesn't affect your work or life in a negative way then you should just be happy with who you are.

It's just a case of finding like minded people that you can relate too, to have meaningful conversation with.

[dnordstrom]

I think that's quite typical for an INTJ. Those we don't scare off immediately tend to appreciate us and stick around.

Haha, true. Funny now that you say "scare off immediately" — I guess some people are a bit startled by the very "direct" and efficient communication style we usually apply even from the beginning.

[dnordstrom]

Does being anti-social really matter?

If you are happy with yourself, and your life then I don't see why it should be an issue. So long as it doesn't affect your work or life in a negative way then you should just be happy with who you are.

It's just a case of finding like minded people that you can relate too, to have meaningful conversation with.

Finding a few like-minded people and being happy with who you are doesn't make business go around and it doesn't pay the rent. It takes a bit more effort than being laid back and waiting for clients to pop up by themselves.

[jopel]

I think as long as your business is running good then there's no problem with it. What matters most is you earn using your own ideas that works for yourself... no matter if you're a social kind or not... (though you really had to become one so you can deal with your client easily)

[mizwizzy]

Does being anti-social really matter?

If you are happy with yourself, and your life then I don't see why it should be an issue. So long as it doesn't affect your work or life in a negative way then you should just be happy with who you are.

It's just a case of finding like minded people that you can relate too, to have meaningful conversation with.

I believe being anti-social does matter on the whole - unless you're a hermit you're going to deal with people in one way or another on a daily/weekly/monthly/yearly basis...and when you do, you really would like to be able to communicate properly wouldn't you?

I don't believe it's about whether or not you're happy with yourself - it's easy to say that "I'm me...like it or lump it"...I agree that you should be happy with who you are but I don't think you should be stubborn to change or use it as an excuse not to interact with people in terms of "that's just not a "me" thing to do"

You're last line describes what the problem is... we just aren't all like minded people and in most cases we don't have the luxury of talking to people who are on our level and that's where the problems start

[vgarcia]

I've been working at home for the last 4 years. That can be isolating (I haven't seen any of my co-workers since 2007) and I think working with others in an office again would be an adjustment for me, but I don't think I've lost my social skills because of it. If anything I like that it forces me to have a varied social life and seek out new friends outside of work.

I also don't get too nervous about meeting new clients and things like that. In those situations, you and the client are talking about what you know well (your work, his/her business), so to me it's a more natural conversation.

Presenting to big groups is another story though. I tend to rush through that and have to remind myself to slow down and stop mumbling

[mizwizzy]

I've been working at home for the last 4 years. That can be isolating (I haven't seen any of my co-workers since 2007) and I think working with others in an office again would be an adjustment for me, but I don't think I've lost my social skills because of it. If anything I like that it forces me to have a varied social life and seek out new friends outside of work.

I also don't get too nervous about meeting new clients and things like that. In those situations, you and the client are talking about what you know well (your work, his/her business), so to me it's a more natural conversation.

Presenting to big groups is another story though. I tend to rush through that and have to remind myself to slow down and stop mumbling

As a naturally fast speaker aswell I find it unbelievably difficult to slow down and work to a lesson plan - it's always a struggle to keep things on schedule and if I'm passionate about what I'm talking about it gets worse! I don't believe alot of people realise just how hard it is to talk about something for x amount of time - when you have say 3/4 full pages of content to discuss this may only add up to 5 mins of delivery! It is a real art when you do find a great teacher/presenter who effortlessly works through their schedule with perfectl timing and delivery

I believe it's easy for people who are living with say their partner, family etc when it comes to working at home (to a certain extent) - you have some level of social interaction whereas with those who are living on their own I can imagine it to be more of a major struggle for them

[vgarcia]

I believe it's easy for people who are living with say their partner, family etc when it comes to working at home (to a certain extent) - you have some level of social interaction whereas with those who are living on their own I can imagine it to be more of a major struggle for them

I know a few single telecommuters and you're right that it does take a certain mindset to pull off. You have to force yourself to go out and network, or work from a coffee shop every so often to break the isolation. It's not easy to deal with if you can't motivate yourself, but so is telecommuting in general.

[AlexDawson]

You have to force yourself to go out and network, or work from a coffee shop every so often to break the isolation. It's not easy to deal with if you can't motivate yourself, but so is telecommuting in general.

I know that issue well, I've been getting a bit of the cabin fever lately from working away in the house (even though I chat here all the time).