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  1. #101
    Yugo full of anvils bronze trophy hillsy's Avatar
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    I'll be in London at the end of the year

    Well, Woking actually but I think that basically counts as London...
    that's me!
    Now A Pom. And a Plone Nut
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  2. #102
    One website at a time mmj's Avatar
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    Well, I'm nowhere near London so I'm going to completely miss out on the whole "Is Nicky Real" convention

    Anyway, I don't necessarily need someone that is technical or computer-oriented. That's only one of my many interests.
    I guess I just have extreme troubles finding someone that shares any of my interests.

    Anyway, I'm taking steps to rectify the situation. I'll let you know of any developments.
    [mmj] My magic jigsaw
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  3. #103
    Don't get too close, I bite! Nicky's Avatar
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    I AM real, all this talk is not going to make me disappear you know!

  4. #104
    SitePoint Wizard silver trophy TheOriginalH's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Nicky
    London is a pain! But I am willing to go down if enough people are there.
    - more so than Brussels?

    ~The Artist Latterly Known as Crazy Hamster~
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    Currently delving into Django, GIT & CentOS

  5. #105
    Wanna-be Apple nut silver trophy M. Johansson's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Nicky
    I AM real, all this talk is not going to make me disappear you know!
    Wayne made a great job coding this bot.
    Mattias Johansson
    Short, Swedish, Web Developer

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  6. #106
    One website at a time mmj's Avatar
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    Originally posted by mmj
    I'll let you know of any developments.
    There's been developments!
    [mmj] My magic jigsaw
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  7. #107
    Back in Action Winged Spider's Avatar
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    Why did you break up with her though (if you don't mind my asking)?
    Don't mind at all.

    We broke up because I heard way too much "Your cheating on me" and "How's your other girlfriend". We got into way too many fights over my secret relationships even though I didn't have any. It just got to the point were I couldn't take it. I'm 20, there's no way I'm going to allow the knife that she wielded stab into me for no reason.

    Update: We actually might be going out tonight. Although my heart and libido tell me to do it. My brain keeps telling me no. I know for a fact that if we hang out together were going to hook back up. But we all know how that's going to turn out. The attraction is still there... I'm in quite of a pickle, I've got 4 hours to decide my fate.


  8. #108
    SitePoint Zealot
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    Originally posted by M. Johansson


    Wayne made a great job coding this bot.
    Shes a bot??
    Coming Soon!
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  9. #109
    One website at a time mmj's Avatar
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    She was.

    But she's alive. Alive!
    [mmj] My magic jigsaw
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  10. #110
    @russellg RussellG's Avatar
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    Don't become friends with girls you really like.

    Because when you ask them out they'll say no, because you are "such a good friend".

    Or maybe thats an excuse and the underlying message is "I find you unattractive".

    Oh well. Back to beer for me
    russell.cz.cc - coming soon (I promise!)

  11. #111
    One website at a time mmj's Avatar
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    Originally posted by RussellG
    Don't become friends with girls you really like.

    Because when you ask them out they'll say no, because you are "such a good friend".

    It's a tragic catch-22 situation.
    [mmj] My magic jigsaw
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  12. #112
    Prolific Blogger silver trophy Technosailor's Avatar
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    Originally posted by RussellG
    Don't become friends with girls you really like.

    Because when you ask them out they'll say no, because you are "such a good friend".

    Or maybe thats an excuse and the underlying message is "I find you unattractive".

    Oh well. Back to beer for me
    Worst advice yet. This says to a girl that all you want is a piece of *** and it doesn't matter if you like them for who they are. To a girl, these things are important and the don't become friend line begs of a selfish need for gratification.

    Aaron
    Aaron Brazell
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  13. #113
    @russellg RussellG's Avatar
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    It was a joke, Sketch.
    russell.cz.cc - coming soon (I promise!)

  14. #114
    Prolific Blogger silver trophy Technosailor's Avatar
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    Originally posted by RussellG
    It was a joke, Sketch.
    I know. But it was worth being said cause some people really believe this way.


    Aaron
    Aaron Brazell
    Technosailor



  15. #115
    One website at a time mmj's Avatar
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    It is a joke, but it alludes to a rather problematic situation for some guys - the "friend zone". Someone else in here mentioned it.
    [mmj] My magic jigsaw
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  16. #116
    SitePoint Zealot anam's Avatar
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    The friend zone exists, I am sorry to admit. I don't know why it is and I'd like to get rid of it, but it is there nonetheless. I generally prefer men as friends as opposed to women, but despite knowing some great guys as friends, I could never cross the line. And I'm pretty sure I have missed out because of it. I have a fantastic male friend right now, have known him a couple of years now. He is perfect for me in every regard. But I can't imagine even kissing him, much less anything else Well I shouldn't be laughing because I'm alone and will probably stay that way forever. Great guy friends and b@stard boyfriends, the story of my life :P

    On the flip side, I have suspected or outright discovered that most of the male friends DID think of me that way, and that bugs me. Were we friends really, or were they just hanging around for a chance? A guy once told me that men do not have women as friends unless they have some attraction to them (whether it is ever acted upon or not). I'm starting to think this is true and I am not happy about it. So 'fess up, you guys...I'd like to hear honestly on this from some of the males out there.

    Here's some advice (haha, from another loser in the game of love) -- stop looking for Cindy Crawfords or whoever the hot babe is these days and start seeing *people*. Most of us aren't airbrushed (and hey, neither are you!!) Your pool of potential girlfriends will expand exponentially, and you might even find someone who adores you and is faithful and loving and giving and everything you could want in a companion. Attraction cannot be denied it is true, nor can it be forced (I've tried that myself per above, can't do it). But you can change your perceptions of people in general. Attractiveness is relative when your mind is open. As a teen I had crushes on the Cute Guy of the Week, just like anyone else. Nowadays, most men I find attractive are men my more shallow friends would not look at twice. It's just a certain something about them...kindness, humor, being genuine, ethical, etc. My perception has changed, I've left the shallow end of things as I have matured. Sure a physical attraction must be there too, but it's not strict in its definition for me.

    Ok, so these great guys end up my friends and not my boyfriend but still, I think that realizing attractiveness is relative and only defined in your own heart (not by friends or media images) is a key to opening up your possibilities.

    BIG caveat to men and women alike: Judge by what people do, not by what they say to you. People are suckers for smooth talk, things they want to hear, but it's far more indicative of a person how you see them treat others and react in various situations. Listen and watch closely for the true person, not the person you WANT to be there. And just be realistic in what you want and what you see in someone else.

  17. #117
    Wanna-be Apple nut silver trophy M. Johansson's Avatar
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    I love Sinfest.
    Mattias Johansson
    Short, Swedish, Web Developer

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  18. #118
    Wanna-be Apple nut silver trophy M. Johansson's Avatar
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    Oh, and to add something of value to the discussion - compatiblitilty is, by a large part, determined by genetics. You pick a boy/girlfriend because they are are genetically compatible with you. I read in Illustrated Science (a highly respected Swedish science magazine) that women can actually determine this by the smell of the male.

    Males, on the other hand, can't/don't do that. I personally couldn't tell the smell of one woman to the other - they ALL smell great. Without exceptions (well, almost). Compared to women, you could almost say that we pretty much go after anything on two legs that looks good to us. We men simply don't "pick" in the same way women do - we aren't as picky, if you like. That is why men suffer so greatly from the Friend Zone, and women don't.

    Well, at least that's my theory.

    Oh, and I would like to add that I intensly hate the Friend Zone.
    Mattias Johansson
    Short, Swedish, Web Developer

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  19. #119
    SitePoint Wizard Goof's Avatar
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    Perhaps this is a little off-topic (and I know it's DEFINATELY anti pop-culture). But personally I feel convinced that dating before I'm ready to be married is foolishness. I mean really, if I'm looking out for my future girl in the best way possible, why would I want to date around before I can even make a promise of anything concrete? Unnecessary dating just causes unnecessary emotional baggage. I've seen it with plenty of my friends and I'll just give it a swell, "No thanks." When I'm out of school and can provide for a family, then I'll go looking for one.

    Just my thoughts,
    Goof
    Nathan Rutman
    A slightly offbeat creative.

  20. #120
    SitePoint Wizard samsm's Avatar
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    I think one purpose of dating is to be able to find a good mate.

    If you don't experiment, there is a risk you will be tricked into thinking lust is love or soforth... dating is a good way to figure out what works and what doesn't before you make permanent commitments.

    The baggage is largely optional... some people just put it upon themselves to land themselves in messy social situations... this can largely be avoided by being honest and fair with people.
    Using your unpaid time to add free content to SitePoint Pty Ltd's portfolio?

  21. #121
    .NET inside archigamer's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Goof
    Perhaps this is a little off-topic (and I know it's DEFINATELY anti pop-culture). But personally I feel convinced that dating before I'm ready to be married is foolishness. I mean really, if I'm looking out for my future girl in the best way possible, why would I want to date around before I can even make a promise of anything concrete? Unnecessary dating just causes unnecessary emotional baggage. I've seen it with plenty of my friends and I'll just give it a swell, "No thanks." When I'm out of school and can provide for a family, then I'll go looking for one.

    Just my thoughts,
    Goof
    to see what you really want in a girl. but i mean like if i ask you to describe what you look for in a girl you probably really cant say to well.
    Web Finesse Studios
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  22. #122
    Ribbit... Eric.Coleman's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Sal Petrarca
    Become her psychiatrist. She'll tell you everything. That's how I got so close to my last g/f, and how I'm so close to the girl who may be my next girlfriend
    This happened to me twice now.. I used to be great friends with 2 girls, both trusted me alot and shared there problems, and I always gave them good advice.

    Let's just say I no longer talk to either. One flipped out and beat the **** out of me with a badmitton raquet, and the other one just turned insane.

    One thing I have learned in my last relationship, ( lasted a year, long time for being 17 ) was that no matter how hard you try, you can't fix other people.

    My ex had issues with trust. She knew too much about what happened with her parents ( husband had an affair.. ).. I thought I could help her trust me, it never happened, she never got that trust.

    Trust is such an important thing, Without it, you have nothing.

    Eric

    Btw, I have a new girlfriend, she's so down to earth, an so amazing, my god I love her!
    Eric Coleman
    We're consentratin' on fallin' apart
    We were contenders, now throwin' the fight
    I just wanna believe, I just wanna believe in us

  23. #123
    SitePoint Wizard Goof's Avatar
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    Originally posted by archigamer
    to see what you really want in a girl. but i mean like if i ask you to describe what you look for in a girl you probably really cant say to well.
    I could probably say as well as any other man. I think much of this is learned through friendships and simple observataions. I actually think that my friends that date a lot know LESS of what they want in a woman than I do.

    But perhaps I'm wrong.
    Goof
    Nathan Rutman
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  24. #124
    SitePoint Zealot Lauren's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Goof
    Perhaps this is a little off-topic (and I know it's DEFINATELY anti pop-culture). But personally I feel convinced that dating before I'm ready to be married is foolishness.
    You're not the only one! It's pretty insane how some people think they need a girlfriend/boyfriend to be complete (just can't go without one).

    That, and I also have very clear ideas of what I would want; haven't found the perfect person yet (I think I'm going to have to move to Europe if I want to get married, which I don't).
    Lauren and Auster



    The dog is a reflection of his master. - Max v. Stephanitz

  25. #125
    Wanna-be Apple nut silver trophy M. Johansson's Avatar
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    Perhaps this is a little off-topic (and I know it's DEFINATELY anti pop-culture). But personally I feel convinced that dating before I'm ready to be married is foolishness.
    While I understand your view, I have no idea how people can maintain (or even feel ready for) a functional an happy marriage without extensive experience of relationships. Almost nothing I've ever done in my life worked out really well the first time I tried it, and I don't understand why relationships should be any different (especially considering my first one was an absolute disaster).

    And I think Frank Sinatra is wrong - you can love someone without marrying them. Marriage is not needed for love. And a hundred years ago, and even in some countries today, love was/is not even needed for marriage.

    You're not the only one! It's pretty insane how some people think they need a girlfriend/boyfriend to be complete (just can't go without one).
    I agree with this. Some people I know function very bad as singles. I'm not sure how healthy that is, as it results in emotional ups and downs all the time, but then again, it keeps you social and beats the lonelyness.

    And Lauren - there is no perfect person. Not even here in Europe. I have concluded after extensive research that humans are, by definition, imperfect. I recommend finding good people instead.
    Mattias Johansson
    Short, Swedish, Web Developer

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