If by tabbed navigation you mean a horizontal menu at the top of the page, the best alternative would be a vertical menu, either to the left or the right. It shouldn't matter much which - in the old days, left-side menus were the norm, but it seems more and more pages (especially blogs) use right-side menus now.
My problem with the horizontal tabbed menu is I have a page which is not part of the menu, when user visit's the page I do not know which tab should I highlight. Or I should not highlight any tab is it the correct way of doing it
Do you have a link, if we could see the problem we could help you more (in terms of usability), however if you are having problems with tabbed menu's it might be worth perhaps having a breadcrumb system where people go down the various levels (and have a drop down menu for each breadcrumb item in the hierarchy showing sibling pages), I've not really seen many like that before so it could be pretty unique and overcome your current issue.