First, check to see if it works locally (eg--you can connect using management studio, etc). Second, check the surface area configuration to make sure it can take external connections. Third, make sure the firewall isn't blocking it, TCP port 1433 should be punched through by default.
I need to fix something that I see as being a problem. It appears I was installing the wrong version of SQL Server. I was installing the express version. I think there is also an issue with installing an x86 version on a x64 machine.
So first things first. I need to completely uninstall what I have installed. Here is what I have done. I have stopped the sql services on my machine. Then I went through the uninstaller and uninstalled all the programs starting with SQL. Then I went into the programs directory and I renamed the MICROSOFT SQL SERVER directory.
But when I restart the program, I still see one of the sql services still listed in the list.
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