If I read you correctly, screen.availHeight/Width might be useful. It gives a measure of the viewable area of the browser window, minus the chrome and does not have to wait for the page to load. Here's a quick example:
HTML Code:
<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01//EN"
"http://www.w3.org/TR/html4/strict.dtd">
<html>
<head>
<title>Work in Progress</title>
<meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1">
<meta http-equiv="Content-Style-Type" content="text/css">
<meta http-equiv="Content-Script-Type" content="text/javascript">
<style type="text/css">
</style>
<script type="text/javascript">
var ah = window.screen.availHeight.valueOf();
var aw = window.screen.availWidth.valueOf();
var hyp = Math.sqrt((ah * ah) + (aw * aw));
alert("Height: " + ah + " pixels \nWidth: " + aw + " pixels \nHypotenuse: " + hyp + " pixels");
</script>
</head>
<body>
</body>
</html>
I sympathize with your plight; being the victim of a modern American education it's almost surprising that you've mastered addition and subtraction.
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