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  1. #1
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    I never grew up!

    When I was younger, I hated being a kid. It plain out sucked. All I ever wanted to do was grow up so people would take me seriously.

    The problem is that when I turned 18, although I was legally an adult, I still looked like I was 14, and I still sounded like I was 14. I only had to shave once a week when I was 18.

    So I spent my whole 20's being asked for ID "incessantly", where ever I went. Bars clubs, to buy cigarettes or alcohol. It was SO annoying. There was one time I was asked for ID at a bottle shop in Brisbane (when I used to live up there), when I was 24 .. I got so angry that when I slammed my car door, the window exploded. You just get sick and tired of being treated like a kid.

    It's the same for wherever I worked. I've had over 30 jobs, so people never really knew me -- or got to know me. However, They'd constantly treat me like a kid. Even people my own age. I am not too tall either. I am barely 5'7" (about 170cm). So, walking around like, not to tall in stature, voice 1/2 broken, and three hairs on the end of my chin until I got to 30.. it got real old.

    I was in a conversation once with several peers, with people I had been working with for over six months.. and I was trying to relate to the conversation. I made a comment along the lines of "Yeah,blah blah - or something or other for people OUR age". One guy stopped, looked at me, and said: "Our age???".. as if to exclude me. I said yeah, I am the same age as you. He just looked bewildered. I was, of course annoyed.

    It's the same with the girls. I can see the girls all treating the other guys like -- guys, but when they talk with me, I can see they are talking to me as if I were just some kid. Or just look through me -- as if I am not an option for them. I can see it. The only way I can get a girl to talk to me is if I break the ice -- 100% of the time. I think they just have no interest whatsoever, because they think I am way too young for them -- even though I am often older than them!

    I think this whole situation gave me Napoleon syndrome. See, it's all good and well to be the person to get this or get that, or go to the shops for morning tea for everyone -- you know, all the lackey jobs.. when you're "EIGHTEEN" -- but even so, it gets kind of old after a year or two of that sort of thing. But when that continues into your 30's, it gets REALLY old.

    I snap at people all the time now. For example, a few months ago I was working at some place. A guy came over to me, talking down to me (as per usual), obviously thinking I was just some kid -- and I turned around and nearly tore his head off. I swore at him and everything. I put him in his place, and he turned around and walked off -- devastated.

    I react just the same, no matter who someone is. I've been known to shout at people that are a foot taller than me, and 50kg heavier. I just don't care.

    I know you might think: No, you're just an a$$ hole MrLeN -- but believe me, when you get treated like you are young and insignificant (and people DO treat younger people that way -- (admit it, you do it too)).. when you've past 30, it gets REALLY frustrating. People just don't take me seriously. They never did -- still don't.

    I am 32 years old now. I was at Coles a few weeks ago: "Horizon Purple 50's please".. and the response was: "Can I see some identification?"... if looks could kill, that woman would have spontaneously self combusted. I looked at her and said: "I am 32 years old".. she said: "I need to see the ID".

    *sigh*..

    I know I know, I've heard it before: "take it as a compliment".. Yeah well that's all well and good to say, but when you never get a chance to be treated as an ADULT, when you're THIRTY FRICKIN' TWO -- it is no longer a NOVELTY! The novelty wore off a VERY long time ago.

    Anyway, the whole point of this post is that lately, I have started going grey. I never noticed before, because I've always had a short back and sides kind of hair cut, and I never grow facial hair -- because I can't grow it properly, so I just shave the crap off. However, lately -- since I work at home, these days, I have gotten lazier and lazier about shaving. I just pop in the shower, get out, look at my shaver and say: "screw it". Plus, I get haircuts less regularly as well. I really just don't care how I look.

    Anyway, so I am at dads today, and he looks at me and says: "Your whiskers are going grey". I thought he must have caught a blond or grey whisker in the sunlight. But when I came home, I looked closely in the mirror, and HALF the whiskers on my chin are FULLY grey! I never knew it!

    Plus, since I haven't had a haircut for months, I can see that the sides of my head, above my ears are going grey too!

    WHAT'S GOING ON? How come it took me until 30 to complete puberty (and I'm still not fully there yet - I have three hairs on my chest), and then skip middle age and head straight for old age!?

    I've had a heap of comments recently. One aunt said to me (who I haven't seen for 10 years): "What ever moisturiser you're using is doing a pretty good job". Another Auntie, a few weeks later, who I haven't seen for years (when I asked a cousin if he remembers me, because the last time I saw him he was a little kid) said: "How can anyone forget you? You haven't changed in 20 years". Compliment to some. But for me - I wasn't overly impressed.

    A cousin who I saw recently, who I also haven't seen for a decade said to me that I haven't aged a day.

    So, I figured I have some genes or something that make me age slower than other people. However, now that I am going grey, that rules that out doesn't it? I am now heading straight for old age.

    I think I might be some sort of secret government experiment. There's something weird about me. What ever it is, it's pretty bloody annoying. All I ever wanted to do was grow up, and it has taken forever. Now that I can get more than a passing glance from any girl over 18, I wont be visiting any bingo centers any time soon, in case GRANNIES start battering their eyelids and twirling their purple hair with suggestive smiles -- or winking, or both.

    I'm not impressed

    P.S. If there's any women in their early 20's reading this.. PM me and I'll give you my number. Don't worry about my age, I'm at the same level of experience as you. The girls my age would never give me a chance (and now that they're 32 with 9 kids and saddlebags, I'm kind of fine with that). I am a 22 year old 32 year old in that regard. I am of course joking (about the number) -- but I could legitimately say that with a straight face.

    P.P.S. No offense intended to 32 year old women. Besides -- I'm sure you had your chance (you know, 5 minutes of fame -- day in the sunlight, etc). You never wanted to know me -- so now I don't wanna know you. I am, of course joking, again. There's some pretty decent looking 32 years olds getting around. Not many though, imho. As for the rest -- maybe slow down on the KFC?

    Edit

    Here's a profile picture of me from 1999 (age 23):



    Here's a recent profile picture of me (age 32):



    I look older in the first one!
    Last edited by MrLeN; Dec 7, 2008 at 07:30.

  2. #2
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    I would say that if something is stopping you for getting a relationship is your character and your expectations about people.

    I had the same "problem" and I never gave it a second thought. I mean, true, sometimes I was treated as if I knew nothing because I looked quite younger, but when I said "I am xx years old", then their attitude changed.

    It may be because I am a woman.

    My eldest sister had the same problem, only that she didn't look old enough to go to a bar or disco. Until her very late thirties, she was asked for some prove of ID and even people that knew who she was to get into the pub. Today she is 50 but everybody thinks she's 30, and if the picture is good, you would think she is 18 (she doesn't have a wrinckle or anything)

    There are two things that make you look older: your looks (not only your physical look, but the way you dress, and what kind of brands you wear (you know teenagers worry about those things) and how you wear it) and how you react to situations.

    If you react like a child, then people will treat you like a child.

    A mature thing to do is to take advantage of the situation instead of letting the frustration get into you. After all, you have something most people are dying for: a yourger look.

    PS: both pictures are good, but I don't think you look younger in the second

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by molona View Post
    I would say that if something is stopping you for getting a relationship is your character and your expectations about people.

    I had the same "problem" and I never gave it a second thought. I mean, true, sometimes I was treated as if I knew nothing because I looked quite younger, but when I said "I am xx years old", then their attitude changed.

    It may be because I am a woman.

    My eldest sister had the same problem, only that she didn't look old enough to go to a bar or disco. Until her very late thirties, she was asked for some prove of ID and even people that knew who she was to get into the pub. Today she is 50 but everybody thinks she's 30, and if the picture is good, you would think she is 18 (she doesn't have a wrinckle or anything)

    There are two things that make you look older: your looks (not only your physical look, but the way you dress, and what kind of brands you wear (you know teenagers worry about those things) and how you wear it) and how you react to situations.

    If you react like a child, then people will treat you like a child.

    A mature thing to do is to take advantage of the situation instead of letting the frustration get into you. After all, you have something most people are dying for: a yourger look.

    PS: both pictures are good, but I don't think you look younger in the second
    Well, I'll be humble and admit that I do have a pretty bad attitude sometimes. Mainly with my patience towards other people. I have very little patience for stupid people, judgemental people, or people that generally just have to be mean for no reason -- and imho, a LOT of people are like that. I am not one to start on people. I usually leave that reserved for defence. I guess I over defend myself sometimes. Instead of politely disagreeing with someone, I'll skip all the useless chatter and go for gold right off the bat - to get it all over and done with.

    However, on the maturity side -- I do not dress or act immaturely. I dress very neatly. I don't wear kids stuff. I was quite mature, even in my early teens. I never did hang around the kids my own age. I was always around the older ones a few years older than me.

    I don't have trouble getting into relationships per se. If I like a girl, I just start talking to her. But it's just annoying to me that I have to do that. It would be nice to have people acknowledge you once in a while, you know? I always feel like I am invisible. I am single now, but that's by choice really.

    I suppose it's not the end of the world. I am getting older now. I even have the grey hair to prove it. I suppose it's all down here from here, lol. You can take that two ways

    Regarding expectations of people. Yes, I am probably responsible for how people react to me there a little as well. I am a rather conservative sort of person. I am respectful, polite, well spoken, gentle, etc. When other people don't show the same courtesy, I turn into the complete opposite person. I find it works fairly well. People don't usually start on me a second time. But in my defense, the whole attitude is caused by a lifetime of being spoken to as if I am some sort of moron.

    On the other hand, people that actually "know" me refer to me as "the smart one", and the "sensible one". I am well known for being extremely fussy in the way of "women", but I don't see it that way. I'm just not a sleaze ball like most other males. It's not women's looks that I am interested in -- it's mainly the personality. However, having said that - I don't want to have to buy any paper bags -- lol.

    My main gripe here is that people judge a book by its cover too often. I think that's one of the main faults of human beings. Generally, people are stuck up know-all's that have a deep seated desire to stand over other people. If they can't do it physically, they'll try it mentally. I have developed a rather quick reflex for such people. However, sometimes I jump the gun, and feel bad. That kind of sucks.

    I am kind of like one of those people that are as nice as pie if you know me, but to people I don't know I walk around with a chainsaw in each hand.

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    Yes, I can see that you are humble

    Nevertheless, remember that one thing is how you see yourself, another very different what you think that other people see you and something very different how people really see you. Most of the time, we don't know the last. People don't usually tell you the truth about how they see you and it is impossible to get inside their minds.

    Since you seem that you have everything under control, I fail to understand why it upsets you so much.

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    Quote Originally Posted by molona View Post
    Yes, I can see that you are humble

    Nevertheless, remember that one thing is how you see yourself, another very different what you think that other people see you and something very different how people really see you. Most of the time, we don't know the last. People don't usually tell you the truth about how they see you and it is impossible to get inside their minds.

    Since you seem that you have everything under control, I fail to understand why it upsets you so much.
    It was the realization that 1/2 my head has turned grey. It's such a contrast to my life so far. Got me thinking is all..

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    that's a very interesting story...but you know MrLen, some people want that baby face look, i know some people that don't want to mention their real age...it annoys them!!! i think when they have read your story they might be envy of you..

    don't be upset...you're lucky to have that look!!!

  7. #7
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    I liked reading you life story even though you look pretty angry and stuff like that...
    My wife experienced the same thing as you...people said about her she looked like a teenager even though she's 31 now
    But she's happy about this, in fact she's ecstatic
    Don't be so sad and mad...instead try being grateful
    Good luck!

  8. #8
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    Don't get me wrong. I don't mind not going bald or having bags the size of oranges under my eyes at the age of 25. It's not how I look that bothers me. It's just how people treat me "because" of the way I look. I really don't care much how I look, just as long as I am neat and tidy.

    Also, I should add -- it's not like my big life dilemma or something. I guess it sounds like this post is the big concern of my life. It's not. It's just something that annoys me from time to time. So I posted about it. I am just rambling away, for what ever it's worth. Yes, it's a pretty big peeve, but it's not exactly a life controlling one. The realization that I am going grey ignited a heap of contemplation and ironies.

    The hardest thing for me to get a handle in is switching between who I really am, and how I have to act to get people to take me seriously. By nature, I am a very trusting, quiet, soft spoken, easy to get along with individual. Very laid back, very thoughtful of others. I'll do anything for anyone. I'll give a stranger my last $20.00. That's how I am. Or at least, I was -- once.. until, time and time again, people didn't take me seriously, or just outright used me as the group foot stool. That's until I grew some balls and started sticking up for myself (around my mid 20's).

    I'll give an example of how I (as mentioned above), sometimes jump the gun; and then wind up feeling bad. See, if I am in a staff room of "peers" and it is decided that someone should run over to the shop and get more milk -- without fail, all heads will automatically turn to me. It's like I have "designated lackey" written on my forehead.

    This is because I am shorter, smaller, more softly spoken, more gentle -- etc. I am (to them), the one who'll most likely be the quickest to back down. However, because of my "Napoleon Syndrome", I tell them all (with a bad attitude) that I ain't going nowhere. In other words, I make it perfectly clear that I am not the group lackey. However -- really, deep down, I don't want to say that. It's not who I am. I don't say it because I like to be that way.

    BUT - I do understand that SOMETIMES, I might not be chosen for these reasons. Sometimes, it is just a coincidence that I was the one that was asked; so when I react in such a way, the room goes silent and I can almost hear the brain waves: "Okaaaay -- psycho". But see, when you're on red alert 24/7, it can be hard to realise that. So it kind of interferes with other people's perceptions of you. It would be very easy to see me as an arrogant AH - but really, it's all an act. It's just a defence thing.

    I am not deluded though. I know when I am being like that. I have to actually put effort in to be like that. It's a front. But sometimes it gets hard to switch it off.

    I know that might sound shallow, but the thing is, it REALLY is true that social situations have pecking orders. And because of my height, baby face looks, clean cut appearance, soft voice, etc.. I am always "viewed" as the lowest. Particularly around people that don't know me very well.

    Once people know me, it's a bit of a different story. People know for a fact that I'll turn around and tell them to take a hike, and once that attitude is established, people generally get the idea. At that stage, I'm liable to walk into that staff room, see that there's no milk and simply announce: "I'll go and get some milk". It's not the getting the milk that annoys me, it's constantly being seen as the lackey. It gets really old.

    I also don't like being around groups of males very much. I actually prefer the company of females. The males annoy me, mainly because of the testosterone. Males tend to show off too much. I am not like that -- and it irritates me. Many males tend to be crude and vulgar. I am not like that either. It makes me uncomfortable. So when I don't laugh at their stupidity, they feel the need to belittle me -- for some weird reason. It's their way of blocking any attempt by me of calling them out on being morons. Not that I would necessarily do that, but I can see why they want to close that door. That's why I'd rather not be around them in the first place. The typical crude nature of a male is usually at other people's expense.

    The average male doesn't have to defend himself against such attacks very often. But for me, I have to be weary 90% of the time. So, when people start on me by making sarcastic remarks, or otherwise attempting to belittle me into being the group clown, I overreact. Where as anyone else would probably laugh it off and say something sarcastic back - I'll turn to dead serious mode.

    See, I understand this. I am not psycho or anything -- I just don't like people talking down to me. I can't stand it -- because I don't have the luxury of laughing it off, because unfortunately, if I do that, I'll have to put up with it until it gets on my nerves so much, I literally want to beat the living crap out of someone. So before that happens, I need to set some boundaries.

    Once, when I was living with some guys, the next door neighbors came into the front of the house trying to beat on us. Man, what a stupid situation. Friggin westies. But anyway, out of all the people that could have been chosen first -- I was attacked by some nut. You know why? Because I was the smallest there, with the least intimidating appearance. Poor guy wound up thrown over the bonnet of a car, and was probably eating from a straw for 3 weeks. But the thing is -- I am not proud of that. I wish that never happened. I am not a westy. I don't want to fight with people. But it's the other people -- particularly males, that always have to start on people. And when you're a soft spoken, relatively short guy, you can never relax.

    All this leads me to another problem. I don't put up with crap from no one. I don't care who they are or who they think they are. If they start on me, they'll get told -- just the same. I have a short fuse for people who start on other people. So, it is actually dangerous for me to be around other males, especially in groups, and especially while alcohol is involved. For this reason, I don't drink much. I like to have my wits about me, because if someone is going to start on someone -- they're going to start on me (of course). It's always me. Not because I did anything wrong by anyone, but simply because there's always ONE guy that wants to make himself out to be Hercules, and they almost always choose the smallest guy. It doesn't make logical sense to me, but to their pea brained head -- it all makes perfect sense.

    I should point out that as I am getting older, the people I am around are generally more mature, so this is becoming less of a problem these days. But it's something I had to put up with through my 20's. Even the biggest morons on earth finally grow up (mentally) once they hit about 30.

    Anyway, so the whole point here is that I appear to others to be someone who I am not. I am a very placid, easy going, soft spoken person. I am loving, genuine and kind. I have a big heart and I care very much about other people. But a lifetime of putting on an act has caused me to become slightly confused as to how to switch it all off. I do realise this. But it's not who I am.

    This annoys me, simply because I do care. If I was an arrogant ***, I wouldn't care, but I do. I care about other people and if people would just be kinder to others, they'd have no problem with me. On the other hand, I always stick up for the weaker people. I always help people who are less fortunate. I am equally and oppositely, just as kind and understanding to those people as I am with arrogant jerks and know-all's. I guess I am really a person that doesn't do things by halves. I don't know what the word is for that.

    I do realise there's no real point saying all this. I am just typing away. I don't expect any great sympathy, pity, pats on the back or anything like that. If anything, this post shows that I am honest, genuine and real about myself. Not to many people would open up their flaws and difficulties like this on a public forum. I am not proud. I just like honesty, truthfulness, sincerity and genuineness.

    Sometimes this attitude spills over onto forums. See, people are generally much more blunt and not so nice on forums. I often get extremely upset over things that other people wouldn't normally get so upset about. I do understand that this is a problem of mine, and I am doing my best to deal with it. You'll probably notice that some of my posts are designed to put people in their place. I am rather crafty at doing that -- because I have a life of experience with it, in life -- offline. I have become very witty, very sharp, and very quick to understand people's intentions -- and even sometimes what they are thinking when they say something. I believe myself to be more attuned to such things than other people, for all the reasons explained in this thread.

    I guess I am just hyper-sensitive towards other people's intentions, actions and reactions. I analyze the intent behind every word and sentence, and when I see someone being a jerk (even if it's veiled), I become like the Terminator. My vision goes red, and I see a list of possible responses and I choose the one that most puts them in their place.

    Anyway, I'll stop typing. This is just a big rant really. Just self analyzing - publicly, I guess. I have already prepared myself for flack, considering the nature of this thread, so I wont jump down anyone's throat if they tell me I am mental - lol. I probably am -- but who isn't .. one way or another? We all have our difficulties and problems. We all have our pet peeves and weaknesses. I think expressing them is healthy.

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    You say that it is not a big issue for you but for the way you post here it seems to me that it is. But don't worry. We all have our own issues.

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    All of my posts are long like this. That's just how I am. Very explanatory and concise. Yes, the issues above get to me and annoy me, but they don't rule my life. This post is just a rant, more than anything.

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    Concise?

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    Well, I try.

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    You don't happen to be a capricorn do you?
    UploadPro.org - Version 2 launched.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jing View Post
    You don't happen to be a capricorn do you?
    I was born January 4th, 1976 -- good guess.

    But I don't believe in that stuff.

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    Hmmmm... there is certainly something in common with my sis who was born the same day and just a year later...

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    Quote Originally Posted by molona View Post
    Hmmmm... there is certainly something in common with my sis who was born the same day and just a year later...
    How so? Maybe she's just smart and sick and tied of being around dills all the time? Is she your older or younger sister?

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    Are you sure there isn't a picture of you getting older in some attic?

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    Quote Originally Posted by PietyaM View Post
    Are you sure there isn't a picture of you getting older in some attic?
    I don't understand the question.

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    google "the picture of dorian gray"
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    Quote Originally Posted by r937 View Post
    google "the picture of dorian gray"
    I googled dorian gray and then I recognised some of the pictures. Then after looking a little closer, I realised I have actually seen that movie! I can't remember when, but I know I have. It is actually a pretty cool movie. It's about a guy who doesn't age -- his painting does. And if something ever happens to the painting, he will get old again.

    I only have a very vague recollection of the movie, that's why I didn't get it

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    Quote Originally Posted by molona View Post
    Hmmmm... there is certainly something in common with my sis who was born the same day and just a year later...
    She has a Napoleon complex and sees slights everywhere she goes whether they exist or not?

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by tke71709 View Post
    She has a Napoleon complex and sees slights everywhere she goes whether they exist or not?
    The slights do exist. It's just that some people are more attuned to recognizing them. Some people, because of their nature, wind up being treated less than others. It's unfortunate, but it's a fact. It just so happens that such people wind up over reacting to these situations because they're sick and tired of it. My problem is not in determining whether the slights exist or not. It is in the ability to be able to be myself, against who I need to be (as a front) in order to get anyone to take me seriously. The end result is that people often don't get to know who I am -- unless they have the chance to be a round me for an extended period of time. I will say, however, that the people who have known me for a long time have no problem with me at all. The problem ceases to exist. I'm fairly confident that most people who know me would agree that I am a very nice and kind person. That's just not how I come off to people who don't know me, and the reasons for that -- I have tried to pinpoint in the thread above.

  23. #23
    I Love Licorice silver trophybronze trophy Datura's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by r937 View Post
    google "the picture of dorian gray"
    Nailed it
    Ulrike
    TUTs: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrLeN View Post
    I was born January 4th, 1976 -- good guess.

    But I don't believe in that stuff.

    Not believing doesn't make it less true. Your not aging issue, is a typical Capricorn trait. How so? I am one and I have the same not aging problem too. It is pretty well documented.

    He is one of the few men who are very serious in their youth and tend to relax with age. When all your old classmates start developing wrinkles, he will look as well as act like a college-going guy.

    http://www.iloveindia.com/astrology/...icorn/man.html
    Apart from that, you being rather critical of people around you too, seems very Capricorn too.
    UploadPro.org - Version 2 launched.

  25. #25
    SitePoint Wizard bronze trophy conradical's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jing View Post
    Not believing doesn't make it less true. Your not aging issue, is a typical Capricorn trait. How so? I am one and I have the same not aging problem too. It is pretty well documented.
    Is there a link to that documentation? If it has spiritual roots then don't post it but if it has scientific roots - please link.


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