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  1. #1
    HAHA!
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    Cool Dear Ah.... Round two

    Dear Ah Beng,

    You know ah, all my friends say, my daughter go out with ang mor very good, very high class. Then next time I can visit America and stay in their big house. The problem is, the ang mor say ah, wedding the girl's family must pay for everything you know.

    Like that very loo gee for me you know. I invest so much money in my daughter then wedding still got to pay. How like that? You think I should let her marry the ang mor or not?
    Jin Kiam Siap

    Dear Kiam Siap,

    Don't worry about the wedding. You must think long term. In America, they have this very good thing called the divorce settlement. After your daughter marries him, half of what he owns belongs to her. So you will get half of his big house, his car, and everything else.

    So if he wants you to pay for the wedding, say can. Then you and daughter just need to wait a few years, then she can divorce him and you can collect money already. Repeat as many times as you need until you get enough for your retirement.

    Good Luck!
    Ah Beng


    Dear Ah Beng,

    My husband is driving me mad! He always buys the most cheapo brands on the market, because he says people are conned into paying extra for the name.

    So he refuses to buy Lux soap, he must buy 'Smell OK' brand. Instead of Kraft cheese, he will buy Gu Neh-Neh brand. How?
    Kiam Siap

    Dear Kiam Siap,

    Your husband is not entirely wrong, but it looks like he's going a bit far. You just have to show him that sometimes, you do get what you pay for.

    You ask me hor, the fastest way to make the point is to switch your current brand of toilet paper to 'Durian' brand($3 for 100 rolls). He won't dare to be stingy again!
    Ah Beng


    Dear Ah Beng,

    Got this creepy guy hor, come and approach me when I was sitting at Burger King and say he would give me $100,000 if I go and kill his wife leh. I think it's not a very nice thing to do, but then, I donno his wife, and the money is si beh solid.

    How? Should I do it?
    Teenager

    Dear Teenager,

    I never understand why people want to kill their wife. Si beh leceh one. If you not happy with your marriage is very simpur one. Just go Geylang and find some GRO in a KTV lounge, and everything is gau timm. But I agree, $100,000 is a lot of money.

    I have a better suggestion. Why don't you go and tell his wife about it, then ask how much she wants for you to kill him? After all he sounds like an *******. If he finds out, then up the price. And say if he doesn't pay, you'll tell the police. Simpur-simpur, and you don't have to kill anybody.
    Ah Beng

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  2. #2
    Keep Moving Forward gold trophysilver trophybronze trophy
    Shaun(OfTheDead)'s Avatar
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    Lame.

    I liked Coldie's better. It's just not the same genuine weirdness behind it.




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  3. #3
    HAHA!
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    Well, I was looking for some weirdness but couldn't find the same abundance of beng talk in any of them.
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  4. #4
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    spikeZ's Avatar
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    I didnt get the first one and I dont get this one - I must be getting old or something!
    Mike Swiffin - Community Team Advisor
    Only a woman can read between the lines of a one word answer.....

  5. #5
    HAHA!
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    some background on the ah beng - it's a cultural thing so none of us will get it
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  6. #6
    Just Blow It bronze trophy
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    Not again......ach! My head still hurts from the last time...
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  7. #7
    HAHA!
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    Did anybody make an effort to read the jokes - are they any good? I didn't I was just happy to see the ah beng!
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  8. #8
    whagwan? silver trophybronze trophy akritic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by spikeZ View Post
    I didnt get the first one and I dont get this one - I must be getting old or something!
    Yup. Same here.

  9. #9
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    I could understand a few more words in this one, but still not funny. I was hoping to find a heap of dumb funny jokes like last time - anyone?

  10. #10
    whagwan? silver trophybronze trophy akritic's Avatar
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    What last time?

  11. #11
    SitePoint Addict
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    Wasn't Dear Ah the funny thread with all the jokes?

  12. #12
    I meant that to happen silver trophybronze trophy Raffles's Avatar
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    I don't get them either. I guess my sense of humour is too sophisticated.

  13. #13
    ✯✯✯ silver trophybronze trophy php_daemon's Avatar
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    It's not the same Ah Beng. The broken almost unreadable english is the key. You gotta imagine the guy saying that out loud, trying to answer those questions and explain with passion, with his hilariously broken english and crazy gestures, yelling in between sentences. It's weird but it's funny.

    Not the same here.

  14. #14
    HAHA!
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    you mean like this:

    Nao hiah, why you go and tell your chewren these condemned Grimm Bros stories? Support local content and tell your si gin nah some AH BENG FAIRY TALES instead!
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  15. #15
    whagwan? silver trophybronze trophy akritic's Avatar
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    No, still not getting the drift

  16. #16
    ✯✯✯ silver trophybronze trophy php_daemon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hostpitable View Post
    you mean like this:

    Nao hiah, why you go and tell your chewren these condemned Grimm Bros stories? Support local content and tell your si gin nah some AH BENG FAIRY TALES instead!
    Sorta

  17. #17
    I hate Spammers mobyme's Avatar
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    Help, I'm confused.
    There are three kinds of men:
    The ones that learn by reading.
    The few who learn by observation.
    The rest of us have to pee on the electric fence.

  18. #18
    SitePoint Wizard bronze trophy conradical's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shaun(OfTheDead) View Post
    Lame.

    I liked Coldie's better. It's just not the same genuine weirdness behind it.

    Yep. I don't think it can be repeated. It lost the "what the heck.." feel.

  19. #19
    www.logoraman.com electroskan.com's Avatar
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    From what I can see none of you got the first one and how the hell did it win the funniest thread of the year award.....

    One way to enjoy rolleyes: ) this thread is to watch the movie 'The Terminal' and then come back and read this....
    LOGORAMAN
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  20. #20
    Keep Moving Forward gold trophysilver trophybronze trophy
    Shaun(OfTheDead)'s Avatar
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    You don't get it do you, electroskan...

    That last thread wasn't funny because of the jokes... it was funny because of the reactions it caused.

    I don't think Hostpitable picked up on that either.




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  21. #21
    www.logoraman.com electroskan.com's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shaun(OfTheDead) View Post

    That last thread wasn't funny because of the jokes... it was funny because of the reactions it caused.
    I see
    LOGORAMAN
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