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Thread: Dear Ah...

  1. #1
    SitePoint Member Coldie's Avatar
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    Talking Dear Ah...

    Dear Ah Beng,

    I am a Filipina maid. My Sir and Mum always want me to clean the windows of their 12th storey flat. There is no way to clean the outside other than leaning out the window.

    It is very dangerous and I am very scared of falling out. But my Sir and Mum get very angry if I don't. What can I do?

    Defenestrata

    Ah Beng replies........

    Dear Defenestrata,

    Wah, damn chia lat. Acherly, I also don'ch know why Singaporeans want to clean their windows. Maybe you can persuade your Sir or Mum that leaving the windows dirty is a good thing. If windows dirty, then can walk around the flat naked, mah. If clean-clean, then some kaypoh neighbour sure kao peh kao bu, then you kena saman. But then, depending on what your Sir or Mum look like, maybe the sight of them naked might make you jump voluntarily.

    You maybe also want to tie yourself tight-tight to something solid if you have to lean out. Of course, you could always break the windows. Then got nothing to clean, mah. But then, it makes it easier for your Sir or Mum to throw you out. Aiyah, why not just run away and come work for us at Geylang Lorong 69? At least here, the Sirs pay you for the extra service. !

    Ah Beng

    Dear Ah Beng,

    Beng ah Beng, I also want to be an Ah Beng. Everyday sit kopi tiam, put leg on chair, smoke and drink. Some more always hang out in shopping centre, got char bor. Most important, no need to study. Can tell me which gang to join? If you tell me, I sure get all my kakis to join.

    Recruit

    Dear Recruit,

    Nin nao hiah! You think be Ah Beng so easy, ah? Must study one, you know! Got a lot of rules. You think you can anyhow go Queensway and get tattoo, ah? Wait you get the wrong tattoo, and some other gang see you, sure kena hoot upside down! And what, you think so easy grow long last fingernail? Got regulation one, leh! We use it to dig ear... if too long or sharp, can burst your eardrum!

    And what, you think we just KLKK around the shopping centre cho boh lan and sian char bor? You think char bor attracted to Ah Bengs, ah? Acherly, they are our accomplices, and we are all there to shoplift or kuah chui (keep a lookout)! You think be Ah Beng is hobby, is it? It's a profession!

    My gang is earning so much revenue, ! heard Singapore Technologies also wants to form a GLG (government-linked gang) to come into the market. So join a gang only if you're serious. In fact, join a gang only if your studies are damn tok kong.

    We do'wan any old samseng nowsaday, leh! You just want to relac one corner in a kopi tiam, then be a kopi kiah. So once you wake up your idea, you can come down to No. 6969 Geylang Lorong 69 for an interview with us at the Chap Sar Tiam Secret Society. Bring your 'O' Level cert.

    Ah Beng
    To your Success...

  2. #2
    SitePoint Wizard bronze trophy conradical's Avatar
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    Thank goodness it's Friday. I can drink away the memory of this.

  3. #3
    ☆★☆★ silver trophy vgarcia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by conradical View Post
    Thank goodness it's Friday. I can drink away the memory of this.
    meet me at the varsity instead we'll kill our memories of this with delicious fatty foods

  4. #4
    Galactic Overlord gold trophysilver trophybronze trophy
    HAWK's Avatar
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    That might possibly be the weirdest thing I've ever decided not to read.

  5. #5
    Born to Code rainadaman's Avatar
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    admin, advisor and all the jury member..
    pls.
    .
    .
    .
    .
    delete this thread.
    I was born intelligent,
    But Google ruined me.

  6. #6
    SitePoint Evangelist MrCat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rainadaman View Post
    admin, advisor and all the jury member..
    pls.
    .
    .
    .
    .
    delete this thread.
    I second your motion!
    ClickXposure.com - PPC Management

  7. #7
    SitePoint Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrCat View Post
    I second your motion!
    i third the motion....
    Kind Regards,
    Andy MacDonald
    uk web design | Affordable Web Hosting | FREE SEO Report

  8. #8
    SitePoint Member Coldie's Avatar
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    admin, advisor and all the jury member..
    pls.
    .
    .
    .
    .
    delete this thread.
    May I know what wrong with this thread?

    This thread you could take it as a joke or it somehow of rather link to SG lifestyle... (direct or indirectly)
    To your Success...

  9. #9
    ☆★☆★ silver trophy vgarcia's Avatar
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    posting a bunch of letters out of context and without explanation is no joke son

  10. #10
    SitePoint Member Coldie's Avatar
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    There onli 2 letter... One is maid to ah beng n ah beng do his reply & the other one is a Recruitment... and through n flow...

    If you dont like the JOKES, den I am SORRY to waste ur time on reading & thanks for your KIND reply
    To your Success...

  11. #11
    SitePoint Wizard bronze trophy Kailash Badu's Avatar
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    Jesus!

  12. #12
    SitePoint Wizard bronze trophy conradical's Avatar
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    Actually, that Friday at the pub, I told my friend this joke and he fell of his stool laughing, especially when I got to the mads reply to Ah Beng.

    Please post more!

  13. #13
    Keep Moving Forward gold trophysilver trophybronze trophy
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    Trying to fill the unforgiving minute
    with sixty seconds' worth of distance run.

    Update on Sitepoint's Migration to Discourse

  14. #14
    Keep Moving Forward gold trophysilver trophybronze trophy
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    Trying to fill the unforgiving minute
    with sixty seconds' worth of distance run.

    Update on Sitepoint's Migration to Discourse

  15. #15
    SitePoint Wizard silver trophy Crazybanana's Avatar
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    well...
    Who's to doom when the judge himself is dragged before the bar


  16. #16
    SitePoint Addict silentcollision's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rainadaman View Post
    admin, advisor and all the jury member..
    pls.
    .
    .
    .
    .
    delete this thread.
    Where is the Jury? Have I been missing something on this community?

    The Sitepoint Court is now in session!

  17. #17
    Keep Moving Forward gold trophysilver trophybronze trophy
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    We don't have Judge Judy, though...

    We might just have to give HAWK a robe and a hammer.




    Trying to fill the unforgiving minute
    with sixty seconds' worth of distance run.

    Update on Sitepoint's Migration to Discourse

  18. #18
    SitePoint Wizard silver trophy Crazybanana's Avatar
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    Im shure it would be interesting to see HAWK wrapped in a robe after she had a hammer
    Who's to doom when the judge himself is dragged before the bar


  19. #19
    HAHA!
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    ^ just drink a bottle of windows cleaner and why aren't you advertising your own brew?

    With regards to the op I must say I will cancel my subscription to this newspaper if I ever need to have to read an article like this again :P

    mah, quock pap on guk!
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  20. #20
    SitePoint Guru james_littler's Avatar
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    as ammusing as this may be to many of you... i cant understand a word.... i feel left out

  21. #21
    I Love Licorice silver trophybronze trophy Datura's Avatar
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    I like the part about the finger nails …
    Ulrike
    TUTs: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

  22. #22
    whagwan? silver trophybronze trophy akritic's Avatar
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    Really, this thread.....


    "why should i be banned" for funniest thread!

  23. #23
    I Love Licorice silver trophybronze trophy Datura's Avatar
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    Coldie -- where are you?
    Ulrike
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  24. #24
    HAHA!
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    Quote Originally Posted by james_littler View Post
    as ammusing as this may be to many of you... i cant understand a word.... i feel left out
    You think be Ah Beng so easy, ah?
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  25. #25
    SitePoint Wizard jimbo_dk's Avatar
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    This is the kind of joke 15 year olds would laugh about here in SG.
    Winners Respond. Losers React.
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