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  1. #26
    PHP/Rails Developer Czaries's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aspen View Post
    I am of the opinion that money can, and regularly does, buy happiness. Money is freedom. The act of having money itself doesn't equate to happiness, but wealth gives you immense freedom to do things that do equate to happiness. With wealth you can work less, and spend more time with your family, take longer vacations, and pursue more hobbies.
    Another way to say this is that money can be a means to an end, but is never the end in itself.

    Ultimately you will find happiness in other things in your life - God, family, friends, doing the things you love.

  2. #27
    SitePoint Member tattobit's Avatar
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    I am in the same boat as you are. I make enough but still am building a web business on the side. My motivation? Time. I would rather have time than money so I am working to build my web businesses to the level that I can quit. What will I do with time, you ask? Anything I damn well want. I can think of a hundred things I'd rather be doing than spending 10 hours of my day in a corporate environment.

  3. #28
    perfect = good enough peach's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bluedreamer View Post
    You can keep your money, fast cars, luxury mansions - I've got something very few of you will ever have
    Actually a lot of people here on sitepoint are self employed and I believe many are doing very well. I would like to have both, being in charge myself, and earning a very comfortable living.

  4. #29
    Not yet perfect mattalexx's Avatar
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    Wow, Jonny, that story sounds exactly like my own! I just got this programming job this year that pays more than double I've ever been paid, and I've never even been to college. I am doing better than most people my age (24), and I feel appreciated at work. I am happy. I kind of miss web designing at home, but I am happy.
    Matt Alexander
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  5. #30
    SitePoint Wizard mcsolas's Avatar
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    A few years back, I made a conscious choice to move to costa rica for a better lifestyle and learn spanish.

    Along the way and after a lot of hard work.. its starting to look like a career decision ( I now have an office in the middle of the hottest real estate market on this planet and service very high end clientele ) .. but at the time it was all about upgrading my lifestyle.

  6. #31
    Wanna-be Apple nut silver trophy M. Johansson's Avatar
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    I count myself as someone who made it. I have a successful company that almost operates on it's own, at least for day-to-day operations. I am very mcuh in control of my time for someone my age, and I make decent money.

    Thing is, it doesn't really make me all that happy. Rather the opposite, in fact. Being comfortable just makes me feel depressed. The times I feel happy nowadays, is when I get back into it and feel the pressure and the purpose.

    Generally, I feel that the things that makes me happy are stuff that cost little or no money - or, ironically, the stuff that made you the money - i.e. the work.
    Mattias Johansson
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  7. #32
    SitePoint Evangelist Scott.Botkins's Avatar
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    This is my first year running my web design business. In the first 6 months I wasn't making enough to live off of but these past 6 months I have made double of what I need and I feel I'm in very good hands now. I just turned 21 2 days ago, so I love where I'm at.

  8. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by mobyme View Post
    You are not going to like what I am going to say, however I am going to say it. Your problem revolves around a lack of self esteem and inner belief values. Deep down inside you still believe yourself to be that worthless individual who was in a complete mess, who somehow got lucky; hence your desire to prove people wrong or even more wrong about you, as you put it. You say that you have a fantastic idea and at the same time elude to imaginary hurdles; the size of the project, hard to see past the present day, hard to keep going. Your belief in yourself is frail, in short you are afraid of failure. The reason you feel so empty and unhappy is because you fear a fall, which in your mind will prove everybody else right after all. Take stock of yourself and ask yourself what would you do if you could not possibly fail.Treat every day as though it might be your last on earth, value everything. Treat everyone you meet with respect and kind words. Do something for someone without reward, get involved, learn to laugh at yourself. Each day will make you a little stronger and a little less empty until finally you will reach the point where your fantastic idea will seem easily achievable if you still desire it. I know that this forum is not really the place to give this sort of advice but I feel I would be letting you down if I did not respond. Whatever the outcome I really do wish you the best for the future.

    absolutely amazing post...... It made me step beside myself and question my mentality. Thank you!

  9. #34
    SitePoint Enthusiast stephenTMS's Avatar
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    First of all, good on you for wanting to take the leap and design your own life instead of doing what you are not happy with.

    There are a few things you can do to get inspired and take control of your life to become happy.

    First off, it's not exactly the money you want, it is the feelings that the money will give you, for example, it might be financial freedom etc.

    A good way to start taking control is to set goals and targets that you want within 1 year, 5 years, 10 years and 20 years accordingly. Make a list of them, obviously the most important goals will be under the 1 year list. It might be, learning a new language, starting a business, learning a martial art, owning a house by the sea, whatever it is, it doesn't matter. Once you have done this write a paragraph as to why you want this, what will it give you? what will you be able to give back because of this? Just write things that will give you inspiration to reach these goals.

    Something I highly recommend is buying a book by Tony Robbins called "Unlimited Power", this man has studied human behaviour all his life and is one of the leaders in helping you to become motivated and reach your goals and gain that life you have always wanted. I would also recommend going to one of his seminars, if you can afford it that is but if not there is always his CD excercises you can buy which are well worth the money.

    Check out his website at: http://www.tonyrobbins.com/Home/Intro.aspx

    I hope this helps you on your quest to becoming fulfilled in life, I know it helped me.

  10. #35
    SitePoint Zealot marbly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jonny View Post
    I have this burning desire to do my own thing, to make myself a millionnaire from nothing. It's actually struck me that ambition is in fact a character defect rather than a quality, created by complete dissatisfaction and unhappiness in my current life. But ultimately, I want to be my own man, my own boss. And be immenssely wealthy with it. There are so many people in my life who thought I would fail at anything I tried. I've already proved them wrong, I just want to prove them even more wrong.
    That kind of satisfaction and happines cannot come from the outside.
    That is what Ive leaned in my happines pursuit. Outside things like your friends, partner(s), material perks (nice house, car, vacation), things you made (top level website, exquisite user experience, mind blowing photo art) can make you feel good - occasionally and only for a while.

    But if you are after that constant feeling of satisfaction and self-content only you influence it and only you can make it happen. In the end it does boil down to healthy attitude towards life and yourself. Usually twenties are all about that - figuring yourself out, shaping your mind and attitude, and if youre lucky freeing yourself from the garbage of the past (bad parenting mostly).

    You can find the perfect partner who adores you, and you adore him/her, and you get along excellent, and you can also have such a great material situation where you can afford to buy anything you wish etc etc, but you will still feel restless, deprived, like sth is missing if you arent happy with yourself.

    This is why you can see lots of people who get really rich never say "Its enough" and never seem to be enjoying the fruits of their labour. They always want more and more cos they never feel satisfied, and they wrongly assume that if they arent happy with a million$ deal, it must be cos the happines lies in billion$ scale...

    Ambition can be a good thing if it stems from you. It can be your drive, shot of adrenalin, source of energy, it gives you ideas that mold your mind for future projects, makes you feel ecstatic and proud after a job well done. But if your drive comes from the outside, if its what others have said that makes you work hard, and makes you achieve more, then youre on the losing path cos youll never feel satisfied no matter what you do and how high your bank account flies.

    You can make your parents/teachers/bosses/cousins/friends eat their words, and it can be a very healthy event for you (i recommend it lol), but if you neglect yourself during all that frenzy your happines wont last at all. You will find you have achieved what youve been dreaming about for years (example: proving others they were wrong about you) and youll suddenly feel without purpose. Lots of people hit that terrifying wide blank area after completing an outside driven mission, and most of them dont recognize what its all about. They hurry to find another outside challenge thinking maybe this time they will find their holly grail.

    With the risk of getting tomatoed here Ill put up my halo and say: The holly grail is within you!
    When you get yourself in shape (mentally), see yourself through your own eyes instead of through others, and turn the judgment spotlight back on those overly critiquing egos, youll see how blinded they are by their own misery. I guess thats whats called growing up.

    Just make sure you put yourself first! The rest WILL follow

  11. #36
    Life is short. Be happy today! silver trophybronze trophy Sagewing's Avatar
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    It's funny how many times we see the term 'made it' being equated to having earned a large income. In my opinion, this has nothing to do with making it.

    I agree with the poster who said that the OP should look inward and try and find their core beliefs, values, etc. I am quite confident that money simply cannot buy happiness - after all, there are many millions of rich people demonstrating themsleves to be no more happy than anyone else. Poverty aside, I see little difference in the happiness level between those who are wealthy and those who are in the middle class.

    In the end, you can not 'make it' or find satisfaction unless you know what is that you want. In my personal philosophy, I enjoy ambition and working hard but stricty speaking I don't want or need anything more to 'be happy' or content. So, based on that, I have already 'made it' and am completely satisfied.

    Thus, to be truly happy is a combination of:

    1) Learning to be happy and content with today, right now, right here. Unless you are in prison, living in true poverty, or are not healthy then life is short to delay happiness until some arbitrary goal is met. Be happy today!

    2) Goals are great, and allow us to grow and achieve. Money (i.e. being a millionaire) is an awful goal because it has not iherent value. You can buy things with it, but it's those things or experiences that really have the most value. Think about what you REALLY want rather than just the money you want. It's not so hard.
    The fewer our wants, the nearer we resemble the gods. Socrates

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  12. #37
    Mazel tov! bronze trophy kohoutek's Avatar
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    Made it? If that means that I've found my true passion after many years of studying and roaming around in a seemingly endless odyssey of thoughts and directions that could not be spread more diversly, then yes, I've made it.

    I've made it exactly at that point in time when I am old, have nurtured and educated my (not yet existent) kids, be content inside and out, have a comfortable life, have fewer questions than I have now, have halfway satisfied my thurst of knowledge and creativity and, eventually even did something worthwhile for the afterworld.

    None of the above have yet set in because I'm still young and am walking the long road. It's the process to my destinations that drives me, not the destination itself, because each destination that is reached will ask of me to surpass it.
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  13. #38
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    I think that if I didn't have the "panic gotta get work done now, gotta grow the business, got to improve" mentality I wouldn't have enough money to pay my mortgage, office rent, or put food in my belly.

    Maybe sometime things will smooth out enough where I can relax, but to get to that point I don't see being chill and relaxed as something that would work for mer personally.

  14. #39
    SitePoint Addict Jonny's Avatar
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    Thanks for all the first class advice and opinion; it's genuinely appreciated. I do want to be clear about one thing though:

    Money isn't my only / main goal.

    Yes, it's a big part of what I'm working toward but there are many, many other factors. What I want to do is to build a highly successful business that when all's said and done I can sit down, look back and say 'Yep, I did that'. That sense of achievement from building something from nothing, from becoming something from nothing.

    I want to be financially free. As a kid, I had to put up with regular violence and mental torture because to my father, money was the be all and end all - and there wasn't enough of it. Believe me, I know only too well that money is only a small aspect of what life's all about.

    I want to be able to do what I want, when I want. I spent over two years working in a job I hated, with people I hated because I had to support my girlfriend through College. I don't want to be stuck somewhere I don't want to be. I know I could sack off all the hassles of work tomorrow, get rid of the swanky apartment and work part time to pay for the basics. I could do that now, but it's not so easy if I have kids, and I want kids.

    There's so much more this means to me, money may be a part but you could disect what money means into a thousand pieces to find what I'm looking for.

    Those who said that I feel this way because I don't like myself though could well be right. I don't like me, not at all. That's why I'm trying to work towards a new me, a better me.

    Anyway, thanks for turning this into such a great thread.

  15. #40
    I Love Licorice silver trophybronze trophy Datura's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mobyme View Post
    You are not going to like what I am going to say, however I am going to say it. Your problem revolves around a lack of self esteem and inner belief values. Deep down inside you still believe yourself to be that worthless individual who was in a complete mess, who somehow got lucky; hence your desire to prove people wrong or even more wrong about you, as you put it. You say that you have a fantastic idea and at the same time elude to imaginary hurdles; the size of the project, hard to see past the present day, hard to keep going. Your belief in yourself is frail, in short you are afraid of failure. The reason you feel so empty and unhappy is because you fear a fall, which in your mind will prove everybody else right after all. Take stock of yourself and ask yourself what would you do if you could not possibly fail.Treat every day as though it might be your last on earth, value everything. Treat everyone you meet with respect and kind words. Do something for someone without reward, get involved, learn to laugh at yourself. Each day will make you a little stronger and a little less empty until finally you will reach the point where your fantastic idea will seem easily achievable if you still desire it. I know that this forum is not really the place to give this sort of advice but I feel I would be letting you down if I did not respond. Whatever the outcome I really do wish you the best for the future.
    It is hard to add to this well put summation of the root-cause for your drive to proof to the world that you are worth it, Jonny. Money in itself is not proof of being a person of value. Often the people who produce schlock become the wealthiest because the masses do buy those kind of goods and services. The masses tend to have very low level standards for their desires that are often just fads or whims, so making a lot of money on that bases does not proof anything.

    The best work is often not valued by a great many people, it is a little niche somewhere and therefore the creator of that product or service will not get the reward of the money, staying at a lower level of income. But his self-esteem is probably healthy and he keeps producing this thing he loves, giving him the deep down satisfaction that the mass producer of schlock will never find.

    So, money is not the measure one applies to the question if a person has made it. It can of course be both, a good product and the reward of the money for it. But a balanced mindset and pleasure in life and work is also a real achievement. Looking back over decades of creating something and seeing the improvement that happened along the way, that is achievement. Having wonderful relationships and a positive outlook on life is achievement. Having integrity and honesty, loving who you are and valuing yourself, those are the real treasures.

    And taking that as my standard I must say: I have made it -- Datura
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  16. #41
    SitePoint Wizard
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jonny View Post
    It's actually struck me that ambition is in fact a character defect rather than a quality
    I suppose the same could be said regarding a lack of ambition being a character defect. Maybe it's acting upon a specific ambition and sense of purpose that results with someone being truly happy...

    Quote Originally Posted by Kailash Badu View Post
    LOL, I never meant he is not happy. Just that it's not the money that keeps him going. He must have truckloads of them.
    Warren Buffett definitely has other purpose other than money or what it can buy for him. The guy has lived in the same house for 40-50 years that he bought for little more than $30k. Similarly, Sam Walton was known for driving around town in an old pick-up truck... at a time in his life when he was already enormously rich.

    Or maybe the reason they both were so frugal is so that they could invest more into their respective businesses and make even more money...

    It would be interesting to know what really gives (gave, in regards to Walton) them their sense of purpose, drive and inspiration to succeed so greatly.

    Quote Originally Posted by aspen View Post
    Money is freedom.
    I've always felt the same. I believe it's quite difficult to experience true/complete freedom without it.

    Quote Originally Posted by stephenTMS View Post
    I would also recommend going to one of his seminars, if you can afford it that is but if not there is always his CD excercises you can buy which are well worth the money.
    "if you can afford it"... I suppose someone without money wouldn't be too happy about that...



    I believe that with regards to money & happiness people can reach a point of diminishing returns as they gain more money and that point may be different for everyone.

    A good acid test for this would be with the very rich and very poor. Those who are very poor are probably a bit unhappy and fully believe that with more money they would be more happy. With the very rich... would they still be happy if they lost their entire fortunes? Not likely, but they could probably retain a level of happiness if the only a portion of their fortune were lost.
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  17. #42
    Put your best practices away. The New Guy's Avatar
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    Off Topic:

    Urge to kill rising...
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    and a trendy hair cut is still a nerd"

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  18. #43
    SitePoint Addict JerXs's Avatar
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    As of right now I only make a portion of what I did slaving for the man and am working twice as hard, but I'm content with it, im free and im sure the wealth will come with more time and hard work.

  19. #44
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    Thinking of "making it" as an event or a point in time doesn't make sense to me because once you get there, then what? Do you just stop everything because you've made it? Or do you stop striving? I think most people understand that money doesn't make you happy (but it doesn't hurt). But even though they know this, they don't go out to figure out what really does. Start asking yourself the right questions and you're bound to come up with more of the right answers.
    Flee the Cube - It's a big world out there.

  20. #45
    SitePoint Enthusiast meRn's Avatar
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    All I want is to make my first million by 25. College is wasting my time away, if I didn't have to study for finals, I would've made it by now. Problem is, I'm stuck with my contract with the sponsors. What a fuss.

    Anyway, I've started to get back on www and just recently built and spent almost half of my money on a site. Wish me luck everyone!

    Oh, and I'm 20 by the way.

  21. #46
    Life is short. Be happy today! silver trophybronze trophy Sagewing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by meRn View Post
    All I want is to make my first million by 25. College is wasting my time away, if I didn't have to study for finals, I would've made it by now. Problem is, I'm stuck with my contract with the sponsors. What a fuss.

    Anyway, I've started to get back on www and just recently built and spent almost half of my money on a site. Wish me luck everyone!

    Oh, and I'm 20 by the way.
    There's a great example of a plan that likely won't lead to happiness! I've heard too many young people say, 'I just want to make my first million by xxx age'. Trust me, it won't change your life in the way that you think it will and the 'i want that money badly' mentality isn't even a good foundation for succesful business.
    The fewer our wants, the nearer we resemble the gods. Socrates

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  22. #47
    Serial Publisher silver trophy aspen's Avatar
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    I spent years building up a career, working long hours, chasing after salary increases, pretending to go along with all the corporate crap they throw at you and the rest of it. I had it good - no fixed start time, I could more or less come and go as I pleased (playing the system...lol). My work became my life, my life was work.
    You can keep your money, fast cars, luxury mansions - I've got something very few of you will ever have
    At the risk of sounding like a late night informercial, you can have both. Your problem is you equated your income to how hard you worked, and your income was directly tied to your labor. The better path to wealth is to have your income not tied to your labor, so that you do not have to work hard for it.
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  23. #48
    padawan silver trophybronze trophy markbrown4's Avatar
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    aspen, you have some dangerous advice right there.
    Money is important in this life to be able to provide you and your family with necessities. Money can never buy lasting happiness. You will die unhappy no matter if you are poor or rich if you believe that.

  24. #49
    I Love Licorice silver trophybronze trophy Datura's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sagewing View Post
    There's a great example of a plan that likely won't lead to happiness! I've heard too many young people say, 'I just want to make my first million by xxx age'. Trust me, it won't change your life in the way that you think it will and the 'i want that money badly' mentality isn't even a good foundation for succesful business.
    This drive to earn money big and fast is often a great way to real unhappiness. The illusion of this mentality was fed to too many young people through parents who did not understand what it means to be happy, deep down happy from within, by movies, by charlatans of the get rich quick ilk. And when the disappointment of a failed venture hits you in the gut, the self doubt starts eating at you big time and you become just one of the million losers, never happy and blaming the world for your selfmade misery.

    Money is multiplied best by the old fashioned way: earn some, put some aside, let it multiply. Consistently feed that pile and watch it grow. Some people will succeed early in life with some brilliant idea. That is great. But most of us will not -- Datura
    Ulrike
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  25. #50
    SitePoint Wizard bronze trophy bluedreamer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aspen View Post
    At the risk of sounding like a late night informercial, you can have both. Your problem is you equated your income to how hard you worked, and your income was directly tied to your labor. The better path to wealth is to have your income not tied to your labor, so that you do not have to work hard for it.
    Sort of, I really loved the job I did and the money was not really that important, being stuck in the "rat race" and not having enough freedom to pursue my own ambitions was when the tide turned


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