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  1. #26
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    My parents stopped questioning my decisions when I started making more money than them.

  2. #27
    [Biped] LJK's Avatar
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    Hi -
    But back on topic, my parents really are like that and I just have to accept that, I'm just wanting to get others opinions on how they feel when it happens to them.
    I just think "Crabs-in-a-Barrel-Syndrome" where they pull each other back from the
    only escape, instinctively.

    It's also [in your case] what someone else said: some folks just truly fear or jeer at things they don't understand, themselves. Or rail against you for taking a path very different from the one they would choose to follow.

    Bah!

    Keep on doing what you do,
    El
    F-Fox 2.0 :: WIN :: el design :: US

  3. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by LJK
    Hi -
    I just think "Crabs-in-a-Barrel-Syndrome" where they pull each other back from the
    only escape, instinctively.

    It's also [in your case] what someone else said: some folks just truly fear or jeer at things they don't understand, themselves. Or rail against you for taking a path very different from the one they would choose to follow.

    Bah!

    Keep on doing what you do,
    El
    Nice, I love that reference!

    There is a type of crab that fishermen can stack on top of each other, without rope, and even right near the water’s edge. That’s because if one crab tries to leave the pile, the other crabs pull it back in. So no crab in the pile can ever reach freedom. So if you have a family not accustomed to entrepreneurship, sometimes they might act like these crabs and try to pull you back in to their world.
    Its a sad truth, but sometimes money is the only measure of success that people will acknowledge. My family laughed at me for zoning out on the computer so much. My mom used to tell me "Maybe you want to do something productive this summer?". My brother and grandfather basically said the same thing and ridiculed me playfully but it still hurt. I've had to financially support my brother through college, and am in the process of buying a house for myself, my mom, and my grandfather to live in. When Im ready Ill move out (and continue with college courses) and give the house to my mom. They still laugh but its a different kind. I feel pressured all the time that I have to keep doing bigger and better things just to prove my worth as someone not pursuing a degree. I love education but I just don’t think I want to limit myself to one course of studies.

    Don’t let the system get you down. Work hard, work harder, keep working, then work some more. If you hit rock bottom just know you are almost there and realize all the time you've invested, the things you've envisioned, and the people hoping you fail. Prove them all wrong and do big things.

    Its a scary world, and your parents most likely only have the best intentions when it comes down to it. They dont want you to take on too many risks as they would rather have you live a comfortable life than an up and down one where risks are the norm.

    When my friends used to complain about how I stopped playing games with them and just sat online plugging away, or when my old gf complained I was screwing my life up for a childish fantasy; I used to just listen to music and get really angry. That anger plus my love for doing what I do, some how created a very intense passion. Go figure. Sorry for rambling on, this just struck a cord for me and hit home.

    Best of luck to you!
    *Averaging $1 a day and lovin it *

  4. #29
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    My dad gave me the "get a real job" speech several times over the past few years. It's stopped for the most part, because I'm supporting a family of 4 on my income as a web developer and business owner. Some of my family members still say the funniest things.

    I went home for lunch the other day, to see my kids and wife, and my wife's grandmother called. She asked my wife if, since I was home, I could watch the kids for my wife to go shopping and run errands for the afternoon. Sure, I don't have anything to do - not like I actually work or anything!

    Working at home was impossible too... for the longest time my wife didn't even reallly respect my work. She would come into my office and say things like, "Since you're not doing anything - can you help me with..."

    I rented an office downtown which pretty much solved that problem too.

    And my buddies all think I just sit around all day and play on the computer. They'll sometimes just stop by the office and say something like, "What are you doing, want to ..."

    I've just gotten used to it. I kind of like it actually. I actually think they all know I work but they're just a little jealous. It's a different world being self employed and having the freedom to CHOOSE what you do (and when you do it). It's a lot different than the atmosphere at most "jobs" where people are told when to be at work, when to go on break, when to eat, when to leave, etc. So in a way they envy that freedom we have. If they only knew all the stuff that went along with it (18+ hour days, accounts receivable, etc.) they might not be so jealous

  5. #30
    SitePoint Evangelist tokyoice's Avatar
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    I ignore them, whats the point in givin a rea-action?

  6. #31
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    Actually, this is the only time where all my family gave me all their support... precisly because I am the whole day with my pc and the internet! Even my mother, which is kind of surprising. So I never had that problem at all...with the online business.

    Anything else I did, they disagreed (even with my univestity studies)

    Having said that, I have to say that 6 of my siblings work in the IT world, which helps. The rest doesn't even know how to hit the key and not interested at all.

    Now, mention anything else that I might have tried to do, and probably I had little support from them. Still, they know that I don't care, and if I really want to do something, I will (and the other way around). That is, after a nice and proper argument....I am one of the youngest, so they all feel entitled to give their opinion I'll be 70 and it will still be the same . It is great to be a part of a big family

  7. #32
    SitePoint Addict operator's Avatar
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  8. #33
    SitePoint Wizard Another Designer's Avatar
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    Actually when I tell people I'm a Web/Flash Designer they are very impressed. They think I'm smarter than I am, which isn't hard to do as long as I don't say too much.

  9. #34
    SitePoint Wizard Young Twig's Avatar
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    I get the opposite. "NEVER GET A REAL JOB." I'll get a real job anyway, though.

  10. #35
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    Scott,

    Exact same happened to me. My loved ones thought I was completely insane investing $3,000 of my money into a site when I had first started on the internet. They ALL told me I would fail and regret my decision. Twelve Months later I had a profit of $22,000 from the site and no one could believe it. However, they still felt it was a risky venture and that they thought I should get a real job.

    I guess people are too ignorant to realize an interent job is a REAL job.

    Stick with it man, Your sites look great and I have faith in you.
    bluepointventures

  11. #36
    Non-Member Musicbox's Avatar
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    Listen to your parents because they taught you how to spell/how to eat/how to live

    Parents are like diamonds which is forever, trust them you wont be disappointed in life.

  12. #37
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    why not just show them wad of cash when you get pay from your web biz? that will shut them up

  13. #38
    is craving 'the potato' slayerment's Avatar
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    You should tell them to get a real job.

  14. #39
    SitePoint Guru ckita's Avatar
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    10 Reasons You Should Never Get a Job
    was just about to suggest that..

  15. #40
    SitePoint Evangelist ikeo's Avatar
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    Get your head down and work at it.
    Remember that you are responsible for you, and that people's opinions are just that ... opinions.
    People are fickle (yes ... your family and mine included) If you make it, your family will all come around and it will be like they always knew you'd make it.

  16. #41
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    i picked up a computer when i was 26. it was pentium p90. cost me over £4k (with all the extras i needed, sub woofers, camera, joystick etc). my family and friends thought i was retarded for spending that much and then financing myself on my credit cards. but by the time i was 31 i had a £80k porsche (C4S) and i had a four bedroom detached house etc etc.

    these are the remarks i got after my success -

    It took you long enough (thanks dad)
    You were lucky
    It won't last
    You'll end up wearing glasses

    and my close friends and family turned into CNN, as they always knew who, what, when and where a dot com had gone bankrupt.

    I am working on my own search engine now. porsche gone. the most beautiful girl in the world - gone. house - probably. i am going to rent a room if i have to. no joke. why?

    Because building something online is an achievement. you are part of something. you part of a community - like sitepoint. geeks used to be uncool. not anymore. we can earn a million quickly because we are worldwide multi media brand building business people. i tip my hat and respect anyone that operates online. i will always help if i can because in no other enviroment can you talk to people all over the world who will help on your world wide adventure and let you stand shoulder to shoulder with giants.

  17. #42
    SitePoint Guru Majglow's Avatar
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    What do I do? Tell them how much I make then point and laugh...

    Ok, not really, but I never had that problem.
    Ohai!

  18. #43
    SitePoint Enthusiast kozuch82's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by soccerfriend
    I am really glad for you man, I hope my time will come sooner or later. My girlfriend drives me nuts with this kind of remarks.. I can not show any results and so far she is right and it makes me very uncomfortable
    This is me too now

  19. #44
    Kiwi Fr00t jylyn's Avatar
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    Interesting thread...

    I was a truck driver until 5 months ago, and for the last year I've been working in my spare time on my website project. I'd say I taught myself everything I know, but that's not entirely true... more like Sitepoint books and you guys taught me everything I know!

    I still have no visible results to show for the last year, so when I quit my job to work full time on my project everyone kept asking me if I had found another job yet. Every time I went round to visit my parents, my mum would show me a whole bunch of job ads she'd cut out of the classifieds for me. Thanks mum.

    Funny thing is the solution that worked best for me was to visit an accountant. Now I can talk about "my accountant did this" or "my accountant said that" and people take me a bit more seriously. When I said that to my mum I think something actually clicked in her brain and she realised that this is what I'm doing now. She started asking me all sorts of questions about my project and now she understands it a bit better, she's my biggest fan

  20. #45
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    I have heard that from many people all through highschool and college. After wasting almost 40K on college I now can pay off my loans in 1 year by not having a "real job". I am 21 years old and make more than my parents so now that they know how much I make they are proud of me. They still have yet to understand how the internet works, but they are proud of my none-the-less.

    The biggest thing is don't listen to what other people have to say, believe in yourself and you can do it. If I would have listened to everyone else I would be finishing out college, working at some crap place, and having no idea what I'm going to be doing with my life.

    But, best luck to you

  21. #46
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    Hey Scott,

    Well I'll let you in on something. This year I was supposed to get a summer job and (being 18 .. . yes it's a while but there were document issues), with no job experience I didn't get hired.

    I didn't want to do McDonalds, so I turned my hobby into a job. My website was a good hobby but I started doing logo work and actually make it pay a little, on top of what I make with my site.

    But before all this my mom would say the same thing, "Get off the computer." "You're wasting your time." "Go get a job." Well when the cash started to roll in she didn't have much to say .

    I tried to explain the whole concept to her and she does get it.So, just keep plucking away. Keep doing what you are doing.

    I would suggest that if you are speaking of a full-time job, you might want to get one in case the whole web thing doesn't work. It certaintly wouldn't work for me if I had to feed a family or something like that.

    But if it's working then keep plucking away, my friend, keep plucking . . .

    Skinny1

  22. #47
    phpLD Fanatic bronze trophy dvduval's Avatar
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    My last employer told me (when I was asking for a raise) that if I could find something better I should take it.

    I started my own business and couldn't be happier with the way things have gone.

  23. #48
    SitePoint Member JamesWilky's Avatar
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    I personaly have not had this happen, but I have surprised people with my first sale of 375CAD and they started to realize how much web designers are needed, since technology is always advancing.

    If some one told me to "Get a real job" I would point out that this is what i love to do and that is all that matters, do you love your job? A lot of the time i bet that will shut them up, and if they do like there job just reply back, well then there is no differnce now is there?.

  24. #49
    Nintendo Wii Fan
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    Most of my friends thought i'd never make more than a dollar a day - last month i made over $500 and thats more than my friends made from workin' at Maccas :P
    »» 16 Year Old Web Designer
    »» Average Daily Income (approx):$30
    »» Drawing Tips | Wii Gamin' | Twilight Princess

  25. #50
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    real jobs can be better.. they provide health benefits


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