SitePoint Sponsor

User Tag List

Page 1 of 9 12345 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 205
  1. #1
    SitePoint Evangelist Scott.Botkins's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Posts
    598
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    How Do You Feel When Someone Says "Go Get a Real Job"

    Hello Everyone

    I get the remark a few times, mostly from my parents because 1. They think my web design business will fail and 2. They have no idea how the computer works or what the internet does. I was just wondering, how does it make you feel when someone tells you to "Go Get a Real Job"?

    It makes me feel like working smarter and stronger, I try my best to ignore the fact that my own parents have no faith in me. What about you?

  2. #2
    SitePoint Member BenBen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    10
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I know how you feel, even though it was my wife and not my parents that would complain that I spent too much time "playing on the computer". It used to drive me nuts. And, it's not easy to explain computers or the Internet, or even basic success principles to somebody that doesn't even want to have a clue.

    But, when the money started coming in, suddenly I was a genius. Now, that we've bought our first house, I even have an office for my work where everyone is careful to leave me alone when "Dad is working". Sigh. I guess that's how the world works though. People, need to see it to believe it.

    Keep the faith and don't give up, no matter what anyone says.

  3. #3
    SitePoint Wizard bronze trophy Kailash Badu's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    2,560
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    It feels terrible when your own people do not trust what you are doing. Especially when they are as close people as wife or parents. But don’t give up, stick around, and show them that you were always right about things you did. And don’t forget to share the first reward of your hard work with these people. They are the gem of our lives.

  4. #4
    SitePoint Member imnotchubby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    London
    Posts
    12
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    They have no faith in what you do because they don't understand it.

    My friend's parents had no clue anyone could make money online. Once he showed them how things worked, they eventually understood, and even helped him in his endeavors.

  5. #5
    SitePoint Addict soccerfriend's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    239
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by BenBen
    I know how you feel, even though it was my wife and not my parents that would complain that I spent too much time "playing on the computer". It used to drive me nuts. And, it's not easy to explain computers or the Internet, or even basic success principles to somebody that doesn't even want to have a clue.

    But, when the money started coming in, suddenly I was a genius. Now, that we've bought our first house, I even have an office for my work where everyone is careful to leave me alone when "Dad is working". Sigh. I guess that's how the world works though. People, need to see it to believe it.

    Keep the faith and don't give up, no matter what anyone says.
    I am really glad for you man, I hope my time will come sooner or later. My girlfriend drives me nuts with this kind of remarks.. I can not show any results and so far she is right and it makes me very uncomfortable
    TaxForum.us Have questions about US tax law?
    SoccerLinks.org - submit your soccer link free

  6. #6
    SitePoint Member BenBen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    10
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I feel your pain. If you want a quick return right now, Clickbank+Adwords+PlatinumPartner.com is not a bad way to go.

    And as for your main choice of occupation, I would imagine you'd also have to do more than web design to make any real money, unless you can rock it.

    I'd suggest you learn how to become a self made man. A marketer for your own gifts that you offer to humanity.

  7. #7
    SitePoint Evangelist Unit7285's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    514
    Mentioned
    3 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by shockbotkins
    I try my best to ignore the fact that my own parents have no faith in me.
    I doubt if it's just you and your parents, Scott. I think many parents might think the same way, but not for the reasons you imagine. Is it possible you're personalising the situation a bit and not seeing the bigger picture? From what you've said in earlier posts I seem to remember you've pretty much decided not to continue your education past high school level and get some 'proper' further education qualifications, and the only business experience you have so far is basically schoolboy stuff.

    I'm being devil's advocate here, so don't jump up and down. To an outsider, and possibly to your parents, you're a very young guy with obvious ambition and enthusiasm but unexceptional qualifications, trying to run your own micro-business straight out of high school without any training. This means you have no genuine business experience, no genuine co-workers, no fixed schedule, no fixed responsibilities, no reliable income stream. And all the statistics show that small businesses are more likely to fail than to succeed.

    Perhaps your parents think (although they're not communicating it very well) that a regular full-time job, in the sense of working for a monthly salary as one of a team in a well-established business, would be a better start in life than chancing it on your own. The advantages they might see in a regular job could include: a regular income you can depend on; learning how to work as part of a team; learning how a proper, professional, established business works; learning discipline; learning how to manage staff; meeting deadlines set by others; dealing with people; attending training courses; sometimes having to do things you don't want to do; being put on the spot occasionally and having to succeed; getting out of the house more and expanding your social circle; and so on. None of these things - and I mean none - are best learned by simply jumping in the deep end by yourself.

    Seen from this point of view, your parents may have a point. It could be that they're worried you're not taking the most effective path towards achieving your dreams of profitable and satisfying self employment. They may be genuinely worried about your future. You can learn a lot by working for a successful business even for a short while. Think of it as accelerated training and experience. You can also build up a decent credit record and be able to get loans, mortgages or rent apartments with far less difficulty as a salaried employee. When you've learnt some stuff about real business and saved a bit of money there's nothing to stop you leaving and starting your own business, and with a far greater chance of success because you'll know a lot more about how things really work. And even if you have a full time job there's nothing to stop you running your own business part time.

    There. That's a possible alternative interpretation of your parents' apparent lack of faith in you. They might not be as heartless or disinterested as you imagine. And it may have nothing to do with their lack of knowledge about the internet - you could be setting up as a graphic artist or a landscape gardener and the same arguments would apply. Or maybe they are heartless and disinterested - but I certainly hope not. Perhaps the truth is somewhere in the middle? That's for you to know, of course. All I'm really saying is that the reasons people think or behave in certain ways aren't always as obvious as they first appear. You sometimes have to dig a little.

    Paul

  8. #8
    SitePoint Enthusiast
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Boondocks
    Posts
    45
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I hate when people complain that I spend too much time on the computer. I agree maybe I do. But it sucks when people like your parents and brothers and sisters think you need to "get a life" just because they don't understand what you are doing.

    They see it as playing on the computer all the time, and not actually learning anything or doing anything usefull.

    Its annoying.

  9. #9
    SitePoint Evangelist Scott.Botkins's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Posts
    598
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Unit7285
    I doubt if it's just you and your parents, Scott. I think many parents might think the same way, but not for the reasons you imagine. Is it possible you're personalising the situation a bit and not seeing the bigger picture? From what you've said in earlier posts I seem to remember you've pretty much decided not to continue your education past high school level and get some 'proper' further education qualifications, and the only business experience you have so far is basically schoolboy stuff.

    I'm being devil's advocate here, so don't jump up and down. To an outsider, and possibly to your parents, you're a very young guy with obvious ambition and enthusiasm but unexceptional qualifications, trying to run your own micro-business straight out of high school without any training. This means you have no genuine business experience, no genuine co-workers, no fixed schedule, no fixed responsibilities, no reliable income stream. And all the statistics show that small businesses are more likely to fail than to succeed.

    Perhaps your parents think (although they're not communicating it very well) that a regular full-time job, in the sense of working for a monthly salary as one of a team in a well-established business, would be a better start in life than chancing it on your own. The advantages they might see in a regular job could include: a regular income you can depend on; learning how to work as part of a team; learning how a proper, professional, established business works; learning discipline; learning how to manage staff; meeting deadlines set by others; dealing with people; attending training courses; sometimes having to do things you don't want to do; being put on the spot occasionally and having to succeed; getting out of the house more and expanding your social circle; and so on. None of these things - and I mean none - are best learned by simply jumping in the deep end by yourself.

    Seen from this point of view, your parents may have a point. It could be that they're worried you're not taking the most effective path towards achieving your dreams of profitable and satisfying self employment. They may be genuinely worried about your future. You can learn a lot by working for a successful business even for a short while. Think of it as accelerated training and experience. You can also build up a decent credit record and be able to get loans, mortgages or rent apartments with far less difficulty as a salaried employee. When you've learnt some stuff about real business and saved a bit of money there's nothing to stop you leaving and starting your own business, and with a far greater chance of success because you'll know a lot more about how things really work. And even if you have a full time job there's nothing to stop you running your own business part time.

    There. That's a possible alternative interpretation of your parents' apparent lack of faith in you. They might not be as heartless or disinterested as you imagine. And it may have nothing to do with their lack of knowledge about the internet - you could be setting up as a graphic artist or a landscape gardener and the same arguments would apply. Or maybe they are heartless and disinterested - but I certainly hope not. Perhaps the truth is somewhere in the middle? That's for you to know, of course. All I'm really saying is that the reasons people think or behave in certain ways aren't always as obvious as they first appear. You sometimes have to dig a little.

    Paul
    Paul, I understand where you're coming from but it's not the case. They haven't had faith in me in anything, they care about money and thats it, with them it's a "What have you done for me lately?". I have more experience and knowledge than you may think but that's your opinion, you seem to have read my "$100k" post since you know my background of education, and no I will not reach $100k in my first year this year, but I will reach more than half of that which to myself is very good. I'm learning my business skills as I go just like I self taught myself web design all those years, my only goal in life right now is to have $200k saved up in the bank by age 25 for a house to provide for a future family, that gives me 5 years to do it.

    But back on topic, my parents really are like that and I just have to accept that, I'm just wanting to get others opinions on how they feel when it happens to them.

    Thanks,
    Scott

  10. #10
    SitePoint Evangelist Unit7285's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    514
    Mentioned
    3 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by shockbotkins
    But back on topic, my parents really are like that and I just have to accept that
    I'm really sorry to hear that. It must be very depressing to have to put up with that kind of attitude.

    Paul

  11. #11
    SitePoint Addict
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Posts
    314
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Hello,

    I'm surprised that your parents don't already know about the Internet and how much money can be made in various different departments. What you are not doing is educating them. This might even be a step up from what you have been going on about. Have you showed them your work? art? efforts?

    I was in your shoes years ago and had to put up with the same crap until I decided to actually go out of the house and hit up local businesses telling them "Did you see that commercial the other day on TV... (with the dot com address) more and more web sites are being launched everyday and your store could be targetting millions of people you didn't know existed... when you are sleeping!

    I started to use this as my way of getting in the door, shot off a lot of crap about what I didn't know (other than slapping the design and text up on their site) and everyone was happy. I started bringing in $500+ per week at the age of 20 and then decided I needed to spend more time on the computer and learned how to develop interactive web sites

    To my parents, I'm brilliant. To my wife, I'm "The Man", to my customers I'm the HeadLancer

    Also, it sounds like your dad has no faith in you but when you start making more money than him, you'll soon discover a 360 degree change in his attitude.

    Stick with it.

  12. #12
    Now available in Orange Tijmen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    The Netherlands
    Posts
    1,469
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Whenever someone tells me that i should be looking for a real job because they don't have faith in what i'm doing or working on. It only makes me more motivated to make the things i'm working on a succes.

    I have been working on several things for almost 2 years now, and i fully understand why some people around me start to doubt if it will really work. I mean 2 years and not that much to show kind of gives them the idea that i talk a lot about what i want, but don't actually work on it.

    They do fail to see that you first need to have the knowledge before you can start working on a large website and make it a succes. The last year i mainly spend on learning lots of new things about css/seo/php/mysql/flash/DOM, these things take time to learn. Now i have reached the point where i'm more then comfortable building a cms with php and how to code css layouts so that they work in all recent browsers.

    But try to explain that to your friends why you still haven't really got anything to show, while you keep talking about how much work it is. I have reached the point now where i don't even bother answering people in a serious way anymore, i just tell them they will see it when it's done. At least some of my friends have no idea how much work is involved in building the kind of sites i'm working on, and since they aren't really familair with webdesign. They just can't understand why it takes so long.

    Like BenBen said, when the money comes in you will suddenly be a genius instead of the person that was sitting behind his computer the whole day and not really "working"

    Just wait until you can afford to go on holiday 6 times a year, and send your friends holiday cards from Hawaii. Then they will suddenly be very interested in how you managed to do that without a "real" job.
    Travel Photos on Flickr - Twitter

    “Never give up. Never surrender”

  13. #13
    SitePoint Enthusiast
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Atlantis
    Posts
    73
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    The best is not even trying to explain. That gets worse, when you talk about opportunities to the people who grew up before a computer exists. Working at home may cause some trouble that way. People living in the same house, think you chat all the time, and do no business.

  14. #14
    King of Paralysis by Analysis bronze trophy
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Ottawa, Canada
    Posts
    5,840
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by shockbotkins
    no I will not reach $100k in my first year this year, but I will reach more than half of that which to myself is very good.
    Every time they complain show them proof of your income and ask them what they were making at your age.

  15. #15
    SitePoint Wizard
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Minneapolis, MN
    Posts
    1,924
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Every time they complain show them proof of your income and ask them what they were making at your age.
    I do this all the time. It is pretty funny too.

    I do hate when the first thing that people ask if "How much money do you make?". This is like one of my pet-peeves. I absolutely hate when people ask this. They never understand that one week I may make $40/hour and another $25/hour. It varies quite a bit depending on my work load.

    It makes me feel like working smarter and stronger, I try my best to ignore the fact that my own parents have no faith in me.
    I've felt this way before too. Just keep at it!

  16. #16
    SitePoint Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    10
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    The money convinced everybody, but as a personal decision I also want to try to work at a real job in a few years.

  17. #17
    SitePoint Addict
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Southwest Florida
    Posts
    393
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Do you still live at home (i.e., with your parents)? Do you eat their food, sleep under their roof, get medical care with their insurance, drive a car they paid for?

    If so, then perhaps you should think about moving out. Get your own place and start supporting yourself with the income from your work. That, more than anything, just might be what convinces them that you do indeed have a "real job." Until you're doing that, you don't have a job, you have a hobby.

    If you're already supporting yourself, disregard the above. Are you doing this for them, or for you? If you're doing it for you, what they think about it ultimately doesn't matter. Oh, and remember this: living well is the best revenge.

  18. #18
    Joshua Crick
    SitePoint Community Guest
    As a high school kid myself, most parents think every self-employment endeavour will fail, but most do.

    I've never been told to "Go Get a Real Job", but I have multiple jobs, not just self-employment jobs.

  19. #19
    Visit docquesting.com docquesting's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Georgia USA
    Posts
    1,264
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    This is very encouraging thread. I have been doing this for four years and still feel like a noob. I only know enough about everything even now to get stuck.

    However I can remember back to the day it literally took me 6 months just to figure out how to use basic dreamweaver features. I had to teach myself how to use cpanel. I was too stupid at the time to know about tutorials. Even those still dont answer everything. I taught myself most of what I now know.

    I tell people I am gona be the number one site in such and such category on the net. Of course they have no idea what that involves. They tell me "good great" ect and dont think anything about it or think I am nuts and or get tired of e talking about the net.

    As they say though Money talks then everybody is your friend. Those are not the kind you want but those who are your friend now even though they dont understand fully what your doing. Dont ever give up.

  20. #20
    SitePoint Wizard bronze trophy bluedreamer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Middle England
    Posts
    3,361
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I feel sorry for you having parents that don't try to understand where you are coming from. They should be supporting and encouraging you to follow your own dreams and ambitions.

    From what you say they seem to have an obsession with money - I have to add at this point that this type of obsession is often seen by outsiders as a stereotypical of folks in the USA.

    Money will buy you mansions, fast cars and the latest gadgets, but it will never buy you real happiness and love. Which is more important?

  21. #21
    dooby dooby doo silver trophybronze trophy
    spikeZ's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Manchester UK
    Posts
    13,806
    Mentioned
    158 Post(s)
    Tagged
    3 Thread(s)
    I employ my Dad......
    Mike Swiffin - Community Team Advisor
    Only a woman can read between the lines of a one word answer.....

  22. #22
    Joshua Crick
    SitePoint Community Guest
    I have always thought about that, since they say my endeavours aren't very successful. And I just think about how funny that would be.

    You are my inspiration spike!

  23. #23
    www.artdirector.co nomad1nz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    37
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    There is always alot of potential for online businesses. But I think its good to get some experience in the real world first.
    www.artdirector.co
    Logo Design

  24. #24
    I'm a college yuppie now! sbdi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2000
    Location
    Dublin , Ireland
    Posts
    1,271
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    If you aren't producing results then expect to hear negative remarks. As BenBen said, his wife got off his back once tangiable results were apparent.
    Back Again

  25. #25
    Non-Member Pillman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    91
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Dont complain. Make it work.


Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •