Be O.r.d.a.i.n.e.d ....now!

[tommatthews]

Minister Charles Simpson has the power to make you a LEGALLY ORDAINED MINISTER within 48 hours!!!! :s19:

BE ORDAINED NOW!

As a minister, you will be authorized to perform the rites and ceremonies of the church!!

WEDDINGS
MARRY your BROTHER, SISTER, or your BEST FRIEND!!
Don't settle for being the BEST MAN OR BRIDES' MAID
Most states require that you register your certificate (THAT WE SEND YOU) with the state prior to conducting the ceremony.

FUNERALS
A very hard time for you and your family
Don't settle for a minister you don't know!!
Most states require that you register your certificate (THAT WE SEND YOU) with the state prior to conducting the ceremony.

BAPTISMS
You can say "WELCOME TO THE WORLD!!!! I AM YOUR MINISTER AND YOUR UNCLE!!"
What a special way to welcome a child of God.

FORGIVENESS OF SINS
The Catholic Church has practiced the forgiveness of sins for centuries
**Forgiveness of Sins is granted to all who ask in sincerity and willingness to change for the better!!

VISIT CORRECTIONAL FACILITIES
Since you will be a Certified Minister, you can visit others in need!!
Preach the Word of God to those who have strayed from the flock

WANT TO START YOUR OWN CHURCH??
After your LEGAL ORDINATION, you may start your own congregation!!


At this point you must be wondering how much the Certificate costs. Right? Well, let's talk about how much the program is worth. Considering the value of becoming a CERTIFIED MINISTER I'd say the program is easily worth $100. Wouldn't you agree? However, it won't cost that much. Not even close! My goal is to make this life changing program affordable so average folks can benefit from the power of it.

Since I know how much you want to help others, you're going to receive your Minister Certification for under $100.00... Not even $50.00... You are going to receive the entire life-changing course for only $29.95.

For only $29.95 you will receive:
1. 8-inch by 10-inch certificate IN COLOR, WITH GOLD SEAL.
(CERTIFICATE IS PROFESSIONALLY PRINTED BY AN INK PRESS)
2. Proof of Minister Certification in YOUR NAME!!
3. SHIPPING IS FREE!!!


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[weirdbeardmt]

What a load of tosh. I hope Wayne doesn't see this one!

[tommatthews]

Why? Do you think he will wan't to become one?

[tommatthews]

Isn't SitePoint a religion?

[Steelsun]

I got one of these free from a friend that set up a religion a few years back. Problem is, you can't get a state to legally recognize these certifications since the religion does not have a flock, tax free status, etc.

But you all may still call me Reverend Steelsun the Enlightened.

[Hierophant]

Bah...

You can get ministerial credentials for less than 10 bucks from the Universal Life Church without taking a course. They are a federally recognized 501(c)(3) corporation so they are tax deductible and they are recognized by most states.

Being as how, I follow earth-based spirituality and am not Christian, I don't ever see myself being called "Reverend". I will have my ministerial credentials in two years though, when my studies are done. This is only so I can eventually teach others.

[RedFish]

Originally posted by tommatthews
WEDDINGS
MARRY your BROTHER, SISTER, or your BEST FRIEND!!

If I marry my brother or sister isn't that incest?

RedFish

[allie]

LOL! I got this one too and almost posted it here but was too busy at the time. One of the junkiest junk mails that I have ever seen! Guess the best thing that can be said is at least it's not porn. Does that make it clean junk?