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Thread: Funny stuff

  1. #1
    We like music. weirdbeardmt's Avatar
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    Funny stuff

    ...

    > > The following questions and answers were collated from last year's
    > > British GCSE exams, ie. 16 year olds!
    > >
    > > Geography
    > >
    > > Q: Name the four seasons.
    > > A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
    > >
    > > Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to
    > > drink.
    > > A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
    > > pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
    > >
    > > Q: How is dew formed?
    > > A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
    > >
    > > Q: What is a planet?
    > > A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.
    > >
    > > Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
    > > A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water
    > > tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the
    > > moon,
    > > and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this
    > > fight.
    > >
    > > Sociology
    > >
    > > Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
    > > A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed.
    > >
    > > Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
    > > A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.
    > >
    > > Q: What are steroids?
    > > A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
    > >
    > > Biology
    > >
    > > Q: What happens to your body as you age?
    > > A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
    > >
    > > Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
    > > A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
    > >
    > > Q; Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
    > > A: Premature death.
    > >
    > > Q: What is artificial insemination?
    > > A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.
    > >
    > > Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
    > > A: Keep it in the cow. [He got an A]
    > >
    > > Q: How are the main parts of the body categorised? (e.g.abdomen.)
    > > A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and
    > >
    > > the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax
    > > contains
    > > the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five
    > > bowels,
    > > A,
    > > E,
    > > I,
    > > O
    > > U.
    > >
    > > Q: What is the Fibula?
    > > A: A small lie.
    > >
    > > Q: What does varicose mean?
    > > A: Nearby.
    > >
    > > Q: What is the most common form of birth control?
    > > A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.
    > >
    > > Q: Give the meaning of the term Caesarean Section.
    > > A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.
    > >
    > > Q: What is a seizure?
    > > A: A Roman emperor.
    > >
    > > Q: What is a terminal illness?
    > > A: When you are sick at the airport
    > >
    > > Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
    > > A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like
    > > umbrellas.
    > >
    > > English
    > >
    > > Q: Use the word judicious in a sentence to show you understand its
    > > meaning.
    > > A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face (do dishes)
    > >
    > > Q: What does the word benign mean?
    > > A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
    > >
    > > Technology
    > >
    > > Q: What is a turbine?
    > > A: Something an Arab wears on his head.
    I swear to drunk I'm not God.
    Matt's debating is not a crime
    Hint: Don't buy a stupid dwarf Clicky

  2. #2
    Not a post-script error?!! guysmy's Avatar
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    Thumbs up

    Some of my answers to High-School exams are probably floating somewhere on the net!

  3. #3
    Don't get too close, I bite! Nicky's Avatar
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    The intellectual future of our planet is in jeaporday!

  4. #4
    SitePoint Evangelist tdevil's Avatar
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    You need an email cleaner to get rid of the >>> before you post :-) PM me if you want one

  5. #5
    SitePoint Guru moonman's Avatar
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    I've seen that before, but it's still funny. I don't see how anyone can be that stupid with only one head.


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