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  1. #1
    We like music. weirdbeardmt's Avatar
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    If Microsoft Made Cars...

    IF MICROSOFT MADE CARS............
    >
    >
    > 1. A particular model year of car wouldn't be available until after that
    > year - instead of
    > before it
    >
    > 2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you'd have to buy a
    new
    > car.
    >
    > 3. Occasionally your car would just die for no reason, and you'd have to
    > restart it. For some
    > strange reason, you'd just accept this.
    >
    > 4. You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought
    a
    > "Car 95" or a
    > "Car NT". But then you'd have to buy more seats.
    >
    > 5. Sun Motor Systems would make a car that was powered by the sun, twice
    as
    > reliable,
    > and five times as fast - but it would only run on five percent of the
    > roads.
    >
    > 6. The oil, engine, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced
    > with a single "General
    > Car Fault" warning light.
    >
    > 7. People would get excited about the "new" features in Microsoft cars,
    > forgetting
    > completely that they had been available in other cars for many years.
    >
    > 8. We'd all have to switch to Microsoft gas.
    >
    > 9. The U.S. government would be getting subsidies from an auto maker
    > instead of giving
    > them.
    >
    > 10. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
    I swear to drunk I'm not God.
    Matt's debating is not a crime
    Hint: Don't buy a stupid dwarf Clicky

  2. #2
    ALT.NET - because we need it silver trophybronze trophy dhtmlgod's Avatar
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    Haha!

    But don't laugh to much, I read an intervew with Bill a few weeks ago when he was talking about using Windows in cars, and how it IS going to happen.

    The new Audi has windows built into it already!

  3. #3
    Pixels Matter! Jimknee's Avatar
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    BRAND NEW AUDI CAREENS OFF ROAD, KILLS 5

    Driver saw "Bright Blue Flash" before car swerved...




    (I know this thread is old, I just *had* to respond to this one!)

  4. #4
    We like music. weirdbeardmt's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Jimknee
    BRAND NEW AUDI CAREENS OFF ROAD, KILLS 5

    Driver saw "Bright Blue Flash" before car swerved...
    Not the dreaded BSOD?!
    I swear to drunk I'm not God.
    Matt's debating is not a crime
    Hint: Don't buy a stupid dwarf Clicky

  5. #5
    SitePoint Evangelist
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    Ooooh yes, a 'fatal' exception.

  6. #6
    Happy Holidays !! Paul S's Avatar
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    Talking about XP

    You are driving to your work and then at the middle of the highway you car says "You have changed at least two components (new tires and a mirror), please request a new authorization to MS, until then a few functions will be disabled. Thanks for your understanding". You forget or ignore the message.
    Next week, you're driving and the car say "I told you". Suddenly you lose your brakes!!!

  7. #7
    Not a post-script error?!! guysmy's Avatar
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    Lightbulb

    AHH!! A Bill Gates hood ornament.

  8. #8
    SitePoint Guru moonman's Avatar
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    Bill Gates won't be happy until he has p****d off every person on this planet.

    If you don't have a computer, your Audi will crash (no pun intended). Soon he'll be making pacemakers with windows in them, and every now and again it will stop, and you will literally get the blue screen of death.

  9. #9
    The Legend Indian's Avatar
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    Talking More about MS cars :

    More about MS cars :

    The airbag system would ask "are you sure" before deploying.

    Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

    You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

  10. #10
    :)
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    MS Cars..... lol... hehe

    this is really funny

  11. #11
    The Legend Indian's Avatar
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    Talking

    MS Cars..... lol... hehe

    this is really funny
    Thanks MS Bhallaji

    Indian

  12. #12
    :)
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    Thanks MS Bhallaji
    uh... this comp industry giant and me have atleast something in common.... the initials..... lol

    indian, it was very nice to see ppl from india on this forum....

    by the way, where in india do you stay?
    Last edited by nOttY nUt; Nov 26, 2001 at 07:52.

  13. #13
    The Legend Indian's Avatar
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    by the way, where in india do you stay?
    Cochin, Kerala


    Indian

  14. #14
    :)
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    cochin.... it reminds of beautiful beaches.... coconut trees.... wow..... i haven't been to that part of country yet.... but i will do make a visit at sometime in the near future.... (i just hope so)

  15. #15
    SitePoint Wizard iTec's Avatar
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    ahhh yes!

    FATAL ERROR CAUSES CAR TO CRASH

    i can just see the headlines now

  16. #16
    SitePoint Addict Seer's Avatar
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    "Thankyou for upgrading to WindowsXP, press any key to continue..."

    "Brakes: This program has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down."

    "Brakes! Brakes!"
    "Cannot find the file "Brakes". Make sure the path and filename are correct and that all libraries are available."

    "Insert your WindowsXP CD into the CD-ROM Drive to load Brakes."

    "Thankyou."

    "You will need to download Brakes service pack 10,002 in order to run "BrakesXP with this hardware."

    "Please refer to your manual for the activation process of BrakesXP."

    Last edited by Seer; Nov 26, 2001 at 11:09.

  17. #17
    :)
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    great one sear

  18. #18
    SitePoint Guru godsfshrmn's Avatar
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    Thumbs up

    I like the fact that we would have to go to MS gas.
    s c r i p t s f o r y o u . n e t
    ScriptsForYou

  19. #19
    Fried Gold Polymath's Avatar
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    Heh, this old one.
    It started because Bill Gates once said:
    "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."
    GM fired back a press release with approximately the above comments.
    OK. so you're in your Audi, barrelling along at eighty, and suddenly Task Scheduler starts running diagnostics on the engine, de-fragging the petrol tank etc.
    "Where the hell's Ctrl-Alt-Del in this piece of German junk?!?!"
    Or the music system?
    "Please insert original Phil Collins disc into the CD drive and click OK"
    "It is the original disc!!! It's already in!!"
    "Thank you. Now type in the serial number."
    "Heeeeeelp"

  20. #20
    SitePoint Member malabar's Avatar
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    haha those are great!
    all about knives? what would i know about em? oh well.. whatever!
    I'm a certified Ninjai fanatic

  21. #21
    Yugo full of anvils bronze trophy hillsy's Avatar
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    Another one that's often on this list:

    Sometimes, executing a normal maneuver like a left-hand turn would cause your car to stop and fail to restart, and you'd have to reinstall the engine.

    For some reason, you'd just accept this, reinstall the engine and drive on
    that's me!
    Now A Pom. And a Plone Nut
    Broccoli Martinez Airpark

  22. #22
    What? Maelstrom's Avatar
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    Originally posted by dhtmlgod
    Haha!

    But don't laugh to much, I read an intervew with Bill a few weeks ago when he was talking about using Windows in cars, and how it IS going to happen.

    The new Audi has windows built into it already!
    I heard that somewhere. Cars for the business man. So he doesn't hae to be distracted by his laptop in the passenger seat but by his car
    Maelstrom Personal - Apparition Visions
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    They made me a sitepoint Mentor - Feel free to PM me or Email me and I will see if I can help.

  23. #23
    Yugo full of anvils bronze trophy hillsy's Avatar
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    I've got windows in my car.

    About 6 of 'em at last count

    <ducks to avoid tomatoes, rotten fruit etc>
    that's me!
    Now A Pom. And a Plone Nut
    Broccoli Martinez Airpark


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