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  1. #1
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    Shaun(OfTheDead)'s Avatar
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    Twenty-five Jokes

    Someone posted this on my Facebook and I wanted to share with you guys!

    http://www.tickld.com/x/20-jokes-tha...ill-understand

    Don't tempt to tell my one about Hydrogen atoms. It's a groaner.
    Trying to fill the unforgiving minute
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  2. #2
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    Shaun(OfTheDead)'s Avatar
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    Well if you insist, two Hydrogen atoms are walking down the road.

    Suddenly one stops and exclaims, "Oh no, I think I've lost an electron!"

    His friend replies, "Are you sure?"

    "Yup, I'm positive!"
    Trying to fill the unforgiving minute
    with sixty seconds' worth of distance run.

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  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shaun(OfTheDead) View Post
    It's a groaner.
    Great find!!


    There are many who did not appreciate puns, but have later groan to like them.
    Don't be yourself. Be someone a little nicer. -Mignon McLaughlin, journalist and author (1913-1983)


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  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by ParkinT View Post
    There are many who did not appreciate puns, but have later groan to like them.
    Yeah, but it's not all pun and games around here.
    Trying to fill the unforgiving minute
    with sixty seconds' worth of distance run.

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  5. #5
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  6. #6
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    Shaun(OfTheDead)'s Avatar
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    hmm, Just realised that the link is 'twenty' jokes, not 'twenty-five'.

    Alright guys, we'll have to make up the remainder.

    Quick! Someone make us laugh!
    Trying to fill the unforgiving minute
    with sixty seconds' worth of distance run.

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  7. #7
    Mouse catcher silver trophy Stevie D's Avatar
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    "Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking that I'm a leading Swiss semiologist and pioneer of structural linguistics."

    "How can you be Saussure?"


    Off Topic:

    I have now shared Shaun's jokes with the perpetrator of that one. I'll let you know if there's any fallout...

  8. #8
    Barefoot on the Moon! silver trophy Force Flow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shaun(OfTheDead) View Post
    Quick! Someone make us laugh!
    I'll get the nitrous oxide!
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  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stevie D View Post
    "Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking that I'm a leading Swiss semiologist and pioneer of structural linguistics."

    "How can you be Saussure?"


    Off Topic:

    I have now shared Shaun's jokes with the perpetrator of that one. I'll let you know if there's any fallout...
    *dead*
    Trying to fill the unforgiving minute
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  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Force Flow View Post
    I'll get the nitrous oxide!
    Lifted these from another website:

    - -

    A photon checks into a hotel.

    The bellhop asks, "Can I help you with your luggage?"

    To which the photon replies, "No thanks. I'm travelling light."

    - -

    The bartender says, "We don't serve tachyons here."

    A tachyon walks into a bar.

    - -

    Two neutrinos walk through a bar...

    - -

    Q: What is the difference between an ohm and a coulomb?

    A: click here
    Trying to fill the unforgiving minute
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  11. #11
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    So what if I cannot spell Armageddon, it's not the end of the world.

    ===========/

    The slipped behind the barn and quickly removed each others harness. There, with nothing to rein them in it was going to be a night of unbridled passion.

    Fifty Shades of Hay.

    ==============

    I had to send a duplicate application to the retro cars at Citroen. They needed 2 CV's.

    ===============


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  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by John_Betong View Post
    The slipped behind the barn and quickly removed each others harness. There, with nothing to rein them in it was going to be a night of unbridled passion.

    Fifty Shades of Hay.
    ugh, That just sounds like a lot of horse play to me.
    Trying to fill the unforgiving minute
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  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shaun(OfTheDead) View Post
    Well if you insist, two Hydrogen atoms are walking down the road.

    Suddenly one stops and exclaims, "Oh no, I think I've lost an electron!"

    His friend replies, "Are you sure?"

    "Yup, I'm positive!"
    LOL Thanks for sharing this one with us.

    Regards
    Rod
    Last edited by ParkinT; Mar 13, 2014 at 11:49. Reason: Removed fake signature

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shaun(OfTheDead) View Post
    ugh, That just sounds like a lot of horse play to me.
    It is

    Sorry but I can't tell any Spanish jokes... I'm crap translating

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shaun(OfTheDead) View Post
    Someone posted this on my Facebook and I wanted to share with you guys!

    http://www.tickld.com/x/20-jokes-tha...ill-understand

    Don't tempt to tell my one about Hydrogen atoms. It's a groaner.
    I would an explanation for a few of them but yep, they're funny

  16. #16
    Mouse catcher silver trophy Stevie D's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by molona View Post
    I would an explanation for a few of them but yep, they're funny
    Which ones are you struggling with?

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stevie D View Post
    Which ones are you struggling with?
    The only one I flat-out didn't understand was #12.
    Trying to fill the unforgiving minute
    with sixty seconds' worth of distance run.

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  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shaun(OfTheDead) View Post
    The only one I flat-out didn't understand was #12.
    Octal 31 == Decimal 25 (end of medium)
    Also == Hex 19, but ..... there is no Hexember.

    I'll confess, I don't see the "engineers" reference. They work with bits and bytes?

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mittineague View Post
    I'll confess, I don't see the "engineers" reference. They work with bits and bytes?
    I think it is assumed to be Software Engineer.

    "The Optimist says the glass is half full,
    The Pessimist says the glass is half empty,
    The Engineer states the glass was over-designed"
    Don't be yourself. Be someone a little nicer. -Mignon McLaughlin, journalist and author (1913-1983)


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  20. #20
    Mouse catcher silver trophy Stevie D's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ParkinT View Post
    I think it is assumed to be Software Engineer.

    "The Optimist says the glass is half full,
    The Pessimist says the glass is half empty,
    The Engineer states the glass was over-designed"
    And the logician says the glass is completely full ... 50% water, 50% air

  21. #21
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    makes my day its all i need! thank you

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stevie D View Post
    And the logician says the glass is completely full ... 50% water, 50% air
    The philosopher says the glass wasn't real in the first place.
    Trying to fill the unforgiving minute
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  23. #23
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    How many computer programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?

    None. That's a hardware issue.



    How many web programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?

    I don't know, it seems to be working fine on my lamp!



    How many SEO experts does it take to change a light bulb, lightbulb, light, bulb, lamp, lighting, switch, viagra



    (Borrowed that last one from Rudy's Facebook.)
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  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mittineague View Post
    Octal 31 == Decimal 25 (end of medium)
    Also == Hex 19, but ..... there is no Hexember.
    Thanks for that. It was driving me crazy!
    Trying to fill the unforgiving minute
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  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stevie D View Post
    Which ones are you struggling with?
    Oh... plenty of them. #2, #8 and #10 for sure.

    Not sure that I fully understand #3 or #16 or #10 (but, in this case, I don't remember the exact definition of Entropy and I was too lazy to look it up at that moment)


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