Moon poems

[Plebius]

I'm writing a book of poems about the moon and I was hoping to get some feedback about some of them.

solemn moon
By moonlight I live
In solemn melancholy
In a world of crushed illusions
Where all my hope is lost
And all I have left is the moon
To guide my way

my dearest moonbeam
You are my dearest moonbeam,
my moonlight,
my moonshine.

You are the light that lights my way.
You are the force that gives me strength.
Now life, passion for life, flows through my veins.

goodnight moon
The moon so big and white,
has something great in store.
If not for me this moonlit night,
what pain I must endure.

Such a wicked trick the moon does play,
and laughing all the while.
I must endure this agony,
for yet another mile.

A certain times it does appear,
to offer open hand.
With arm outstretched it drops you down,
to see how hard you land.

What is this evil trick you play,
to cause such misery.
I'm through with you, o silly moon,
you've had your fun with me!

[Sparkie]

..not sure if you're aware that "moonshine" is a type of thick alcoholic drink in the USA! Had to think twice when I read that

[aspen]

I don't really like the first 2, I prefer longer poems. The third one is really good though.

I'm also a poet, I've been published.. eh it was kinda lame but hey, its publication. The poem I had published has some to do with the stars, not the moon:

The Wideness of the World
The wideness of the world
emptiness in all directions
I look for the horizon that isn't there
I look for the goal
I look for the accomplishment
I look for the end
it isn't there
unbounding vision
obstructed sight
I blink back my eyes
I see not sight
I see the barren land
I see the starless sky
but I see nothing
and I wonder why
I wish upon a shooting star
a star I never saw
the lies give me comfort
my hope gives me lies
I stare at the boundless sky
to me its a wall
I look at everyone
and no one looks back
and in their nonexistent stares
I see my flaws
I see my hurts
and they are multiplied
I see stars
beyond my sky
I see them shine
and I wonder why

The full body of my work is here:

http://www.online-literature.com/poetry/

Chris

[Plebius]

Originally posted by Sparkie
..not sure if you're aware that "moonshine" is a type of thick alcoholic drink in the USA! Had to think twice when I read that

Yeah, I know. kind of a double meaning there.

[Sparkie]

okay LuZeR! I like your third poem best, personally..I've had some works published as well, but not online. I've recently entered a writing contest on writingtree.com, a very interesting online literature site. Wish me luck

Thanks for sharing your work with us, LuZeR